Your fourth-or-fifth-favorite late night talk show host is hosting the Oscars this Sunday, and to fete this semi-momentous occasion Variety has featured him on the cover of their latest issue.
Remember when things were fun? I sort of can if I push all my anxieties way down and try to pretend like reality is a dream. So let’s do that now. Because as of yesterday, it has officially been one year since the single greatest two minutes of the entire election: Ben Carson’s big walkout disaster.
The other night, while high Googling before bed, I got to thinking about the Bushes, in general, and Barbara Bush, in particular. I told my husband about how I think she cuts quite an intimidating figure and he agreed. So, I wondered, how tall is this woman who bedded down with one former president and birthed…
Things are probably pretty confusing right now for Jeb! Bush. His ineffective, occasionally hilarious performance as a Republican primary candidate helped boost the fortunes of one Donald Trump, who may yet become the United States’ first emperor-CEO; later, Trump received the endorsement of Jeb!’s very own son George…
Jeb Bush is not sad, or mad, he is actually laughing, and everything is fine. He is not crying—those are tears but he’s not crying—he just yawned, and you know how sometimes when you yawn your eyes water up a bit and you look like you’re crying but you’re not, you’re NOT CRYING.
Our very own Señor Jeb Bush, who has recently been clutching onto one last silken strand of sense and dignity by refusing to endorse Donald Trump, has once again been humiliated by an immediate family member as his son George P. Bush urged Republicans to support the guy who helped make his dad a national…
Above is a photo of Jeb “Heb” Bush standing alone at Miami International Airport, the great quandary of life pressing down on him on all sides with the brunt force of an industrial-scale trash compactor. How I have missed this devastating man.
Jeb Bush, an ally so loyal to Mexicans that he has in the past marked “Hispanic” on the census despite being so white that his good American stock dates back to Massachusetts, has rushed to criticize Donald “taco truck” Trump for his extremely stupid Cinco de Mayo tweet, in which Trump posed with a freakin’ taco bowl…
In today’s Tweet Beat, Jeb Bush is armed, Shakira met Jesus and Zendaya meets a fan.
It would appear that Jeb Bush, who not long ago declared “I’m not going to take off my stinking glasses,” and “I think I look pretty damn good [in glasses],” has suddenly changed positions.
George W. Bush is out on the campaign trail stumping for Jeb, a development that definitely does not give us chilling flashbacks and stress diarrhea. Last night they went on Fox News together, where Sean Hannity beamed at them with delight and W. joyfully mangled the English language as though not a single day had…
The Associated Press circulated a video on Monday of former President George W. Bush, also known as That Guy Who Ruined the World, working a room in South Carolina like it’s 2004. I’ve just wet myself in terror, but what a charmer, yeah?
Truthers, your Age of Aquarius has dawned. February 13's GOP debate, which ended up being only a few pot-shots away from devolving into an oil-wresting free-for-all between the Republican presidential hopefuls, apparently wasn’t the only thing on the minds of tuned-in voters. Rather than watching the verbal boxing…
Ha, yes, wow, absolutely the right man at the right time: former President George W. Bush will be campaigning next week for never-going-to-be President Jeb Bush. Because if anybody’s going to turn this thing around, it’s the guy who left office with the lowest approval rating of all time.
Happy 63rd birthday—that’s a little over four quinces—to Señor Jeb Bush, may your mamá rent you and Columba a bitchin’ limo with neon runners and, shit, because I feel sorry for you lately, tons of MDMA. !FELIZ CUMPLEAÑOS, HE’ BOOSH!
At a packed town hall late Saturday morning in Bedford, New Hampshire, Jeb Bush struggled to wiggle out from underneath his establishment roots.
Do you know that feeling when you’ve been crying for so long and with such exhausting force that the emotions which were once overpowering are suddenly so diminished as to become irrelevant, existing now only in the fading salty wetness on your face and pillow?
This is a smart strategy! Jeb Bush is recovering from a cringingly awful day in Iowa by steamrolling into New Hampshire, and making a weird sex joke to a young future voter to distract everybody: