Jeb Bush Is Hangry As Fuck for Presidency and a Plate of Goddamn Carbs

Jeb Bush wants to be your president. The lesser Bush, who’s in politics but hasn’t risen much higher than trying to “streamline the execution process” in Florida, knows that there are two things Americans really care about when it comes to voting for the leader of their country: issues and a trim body that any… » 4/24/15 11:45am 4/24/15 11:45am

Well, It's Time to Play FMK with the Republican Presidential Hopefuls

Now that Rand Paul has announced his Presidential candidacy, joining firstie candidate-in-name-only Ted Cruz and the inevitable-but-formally-unannounced Jeb Bush (sorry: “Heb Boosh”), it is officially the season of Republican conjecture. And, for a woman who would only vote Republican at gunpoint, there is only one… » 4/07/15 1:10pm 4/07/15 1:10pm

Move Over, El Bloombito; Spicy 'Hispanic' Jeb Bush is Here, Ajua!

Jeb Bush—yung progeny of former President George HW Bush, wee stony bro of former President George W Bush aka Yayoncé, and current possible Republican candidate for Prez in 2016—feels so in tune with Latinos that he registered himself to vote as “Hispanic” under “race.” Jajajajajaja QUÉ CABRÓN. » 4/06/15 10:10am 4/06/15 10:10am

Thanks to His Fuckup Brother, Jeb Bush Has Only One Wedding Pic 

Traditionalists can gripe about wedding guests relentlessly taking smartphone pictures during weddings, or the obsessive documentation of ceremonies on social media, but there's at least one huge defense of this behavior: If your official photographer monumentally screws up, at least you'll have a handful of amateur… » 2/23/15 5:10pm 2/23/15 5:10pm

High School Classmates Remember Jeb Bush As a Dickhead Stoner Bully

The Boston Globe had a long story this weekend about presumed Republican presidential candidate Jeb Bush, and specifically about his formative years in a posh prep school, where his classmates remember him as a stoner who was disengaged from politics, and a bullying, lunkheaded jerk. On the one hand: who cares? On the… » 2/02/15 2:30pm 2/02/15 2:30pm

Jeb Bush Not Happy for Gorgeous, Legally Wedded Lesbians 

Jeb Bush is making all the noises necessary to run for president, which as a Republican nominee means suddenly coming out as sternly anti-gay. In an interview with the Miami Herald this weekend, he said he was disappointed a Florida state court had ruled to allow gay marriage. In 2012, Jeb suggested gay parents could… » 1/05/15 6:00pm 1/05/15 6:00pm

​Florida Man Jeb Bush Officially Exploring 2016 Presidential Candidacy

We've got just under two years before the next presidential election and the Republican party has its first tentative candidate: former Governor of Florida Jeb Bush. This morning, he took to social media to announce his plans to seriously consider that president thing his dad and brother did for a while. After all,… » 12/16/14 1:00pm 12/16/14 1:00pm