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This Week In Tabloids: Here Are Stalkerazzi Photos of Kristen Stewart Kissing a Married Man

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which we grade the gossip from In Touch, Us, Ok!, Life & Style, and Star. This week, Us earns an A+, for printing photographs and an eyewitness account of Kristen Stewart kissing and embracing director Rupert Sanders at various locations in L.A. The other so-called news — Kim K's…

Lindsay Lohan's Dad Knocks Up The Woman Who Literally Just Dropped Her Restraining Order Against Him

Two mice fell into a bucket of cream. One of them panicked and drowned, but the other one kicked his little legs until he churned that cream into butter and walked out. And then Kate Major and Michael Lohan announced they were having a child, and the surviving mouse was like "What the fuck, didn't you just file a…

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Studio Exec Forces Jason Segel to Lose Weight, Since Thin Women Don't Marry Chunky Guys

We often hear about actresses urged to get skinny for a role — Anne Hathaway's crash diet for Les Misérables and Beyoncé's "cleanse" for Dreamgirls spring to mind — but rarely are we made aware of male actors subject to the same pressure. However. Last night on The Late Show, Jason Segel revealed that "the studio…

This Week In Tabloids: Adorable Michelle Williams and Adorable Jason Segel Are Most Adorable Couple Ever

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which we attempt to nuzzle up with the gossip in In Touch, Us, Ok!, Life & Style, and Star. This week, Jennifer Lopez's manfriend seems to have gotten her name tattooed on his dick; Prince William and Duchess Kate might adopt; and Michelle Williams and Jason Segel are doubly cute…