Miley Cyrus Fans Want To Rip Lorde's Brains Out For Winning at iTunes

Rabid Miley Cyrus fans are lashing out at 16-year-old chanteuse Lorde, who is so uppity that she did not commit hara-kiri immediately after her "Royals" topped Miley as #1 on the iTunes chart. They're slamming her with Dorothy Parker-esque gems like "Your eyes are too far apart" and "kill yourself you crusty old hag." Lorde » 9/20/13 9:00am 9/20/13 9:00am

Bethenny Frankel and Jason Hoppy Argued Constantly About 'Gender Roles'; …

I don't know much about the Betheljazzy-Frankenhopper union, because I tend to fall into a fugue state any time the words "Real" and "Housewife" are mentioned in the same sentence (side effect: I am unconscious 23 hours per day). But I understand that the American public has some genuine affection for the pair (right? Am I … » 1/03/13 8:00pm 1/03/13 8:00pm

Justin Bieber Is Smoking Pot, Acting Out, Not Reaching Potential

Some mole over in Justin Bieber's camp say that the B33bz is pissing off his record label and his assorted grown-up servants by being a lazy, ungrateful little stoner, just like—wait for it—an eighteen-year-old boy. Truly shocking. My monocle just fell plumb off my face. » 12/24/12 9:00am 12/24/12 9:00am

There is no better way to deal with…