Downtown mainstay, (excellent) actress and sartorial pioneer Chloë Sevigny hates to sound like an old fuddy-duddy, but she really wants you to pull your tiny denim shorts out of your crack and study for your SATs.

Yo, Helen Mirren! Can I watch you have a cognac and take notes on how to be a woman? K thanks. During her speech after receiving her Legend Award at the Empire Movie Awards last night, Mirren drew attention to fellow award recipient Sam Mendes' sausage-fest of thank yous and inspirations. (Specifically: PT Anderson,…

In today's Tweet Beat, Jared Leto pops by to say hello (um, hi?), Josh Groban gets punny, Demi Lovato wants to be besties with Cher and many people have many thoughts on the Oscars.

Last night Lindsay Lohan went to a Justin Bieber concert. A few hours later, at around 4 AM, she was arrested for punching a woman in the face in a New York club following brief verbal altercation (LiLo said something to the effect of "Give me my space" before clocking the girl). She and friends attempted to flee the…

The oracle of truth known as Life & Style magazine is reporting that Kanye West told Kim Kardashian to hurry up and divorce Kris Humphries so that she's free to walk down the aisle for the third time. With Humphries dragging it out to get as much as possible from their pantomimed marriage, West told Kardashian to sign…

If we know anything about Sarah Silverman it's that she loves abortions. This is most clearly evidenced by the fact she's responsible for the best termination-related montage we're likely to witness during our lifetime. SS, fully aware of the War on Women, decided to sneak in a quick one in case someone pulls the plug…

After a Marie Claire blogger criticized Melissa McCarthy's show Mike and Molly in 2010, saying:

[London, December 1. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

• News photographers claim that Russell Brand's bodyguards tried to get them killed by TIGERS.

• Kat Von D is in love, and Jesse James is the lucky man.