Every Headline About Rick Santorum Winning in Iowa is Disgusting

After recounting the votes in the Iowa caucuses, a bombshell from The Hawkeye State: the winner of the first contest of the primary season wasn't actually Mitt Romney, but Pennsylvania shitstain Rick Santorum. And thanks to the pervasive neologism of Santorum's name, every single headline about it is disgusting. »1/19/12 2:15pm1/19/12 2:15pm

Bachmann Drops Out of Presidential Race, Will Focus More on Being a Jerk in Congress

Right-wing caricature Michele Bachmann received a whopping 6,000 votes in last night's Iowa caucuses, which put her solidly in third-to-last place, in front of a guy who didn't even campaign in the state, and "other." Discouraged by this insurmountable setback, she'll be suspending her campaign, saying, "I have… »1/04/12 11:10am1/04/12 11:10am

Michele Bachmann Accuses Journalists Of Dirty Trick: Reading Her Own Quotes Back To Her

During an TV interview this morning, Presidential candidate Michele Bachmann bristled when asked to provide insight into what, exactly, she meant when she said in a speech that gays were "sad" sufferers of "sexual dysfunction" and "a part of Satan," calling the question irrelevant gotcha journalism and refusing to… »1/03/12 7:00pm1/03/12 7:00pm

How To Get Totally Famous By Trolling Republican Presidential Candidates

Watch out, kissing babies and candidates saying how madly in love they are with the troops— this election cycle, there's a new bit of daily drudgery in town— relentless trolling of candidates by non-supporters whose totally surprise questions for the candidates are captured on video. While many stunts have already… »1/03/12 12:25pm1/03/12 12:25pm

Concerned Voter Wants to Know if Newt Gingrich will Legalize Polygamy

Smirking blowhard Newt Gingrich has been threatening to run for President for decades now, and this year, he's closer than he's ever been to following through on that threat. But as the Iowa caucuses approach like a thundering herd of angry ex wives, it's been difficult for evangelicals to wrap their heads around how… »12/29/11 3:35pm12/29/11 3:35pm