The Paranoid Hypochondriac's Guide to the Ebola Outbreak

The worst ebola outbreak in history is currently ravaging West Africa, and it might be coming to the U.S. Okay, it's probably not. But it might be. But it's probably not. But oh god what if it is?!? What do we do? This is not the Dawn of the Planet of the Apes; this is real life, ok? But those screenwriters… »8/04/14 11:20am8/04/14 11:20am

Polio-Like Mystery Illness Afflicts Children in Northern California

In Northern California’s Bay Area, an illness that resembles polio is affecting children and doctors aren’t sure what it is. The affliction develops as a sudden weakness in the arms and legs or "symptoms of paralysis." If your child exhibits these signs, health officials recommend they see a doctor immediately. »2/25/14 10:00am2/25/14 10:00am

Mysterious Cruise Ship Plague Has Ruined Caribbean Vacay for 281 People

Stepping aboard an ocean liner and putting your life in the hands of a captain who, at least on a Disney cruise, might be an actor with some off-Broadway experience dressed in a Goofy costume, takes a lot of faith, especially considering how many no good, terrible things have happened on cruise ships recently. At… »1/26/14 2:30pm1/26/14 2:30pm

An Encyclopedia of Diseases Miley Cyrus Can Catch by Licking Things

Miley Cyrus may have claimed she's disavowed Twerking in her latest interview with Rolling Stone, but she's way into something that could turn out to be much more dangerous: licking things. She's licking a hammer and a rusty chain in the Wrecking Ball video. She's licking teddy bears onstage at the VMA's. She's… »9/25/13 5:20pm9/25/13 5:20pm

Labeling Diseases By Gender Is Literally Hurting Everyone

According to an article in the journal Clinical Chemistry and Laboratory Medicine (CLLM), the majority of medical research on unisex diseases done over the last 40 years focused solely on male patients. However, in plumbing the field of what they've termed "gender medicine," a study out of Padua Hospital University… »3/23/13 4:30pm3/23/13 4:30pm

GMA's Robin Roberts Reveals Rare Bone Marrow Disorder

ABC news anchor — and overall classy broad — Robin Roberts took a moment out of today's Good Morning America to announce that she will soon begin treatment for M.D.S. (or myelodysplastic syndromes) a rare and serious blood disorder that affects the body's bone marrow. While the outlook for M.D.S. is often a grim one,… »6/11/12 11:50am6/11/12 11:50am

Dr. Google Thinks You're Way Sicker Than You Actually Are

Here's a new survey from the Department of Obvious Things: when ladies get sick, they're much more likely to consult Dr. Google than their actual doctors. And when they do that, Dr. Google helpfully provides the wrong diagnosis. If these women going to the internet are anything like me, Dr. Google is probably telling… »4/18/12 11:20am4/18/12 11:20am

Faking Cancer to Make Money and Get Free Stuff Is Officially a Thing

Today a grand jury in Orange County indicted 25-year-old Jessica Vega on a charge most unusual: lying about having terminal cancer so she could have a gigantic, free wedding. When Vega didn't die as promised, suspicions were aroused, her husband divorced her, and the bride found herself in trouble with the law. But… »4/10/12 6:15pm4/10/12 6:15pm

Majority of Americans Delusional, Pretty Sure They'll Never Die

Despite the fact that every third study that comes out seems to indicate that everything in our environment is trying to kill us with its noxious chemicals or fatty fat cells, it seems we are running around thinking everything is going to be just fine for us. According to a new survey, 62 percent of employees in the… »4/09/12 12:20pm4/09/12 12:20pm

Hot Trends in Online Dating: Syphilis and Chlamydia

Researchers in Canada are flummoxed a puzzling set of statistics — despite the fact that most people had a safe sex message shouted at them from a young age, instances of certain sexually transmitted diseases have increased dramatically in the last decade or so. According to some experts the STDstravaganza can be… »3/12/12 11:20am3/12/12 11:20am