Welcome to Boozinette. This is the Medicina de Mezcal.

Welcome back to Pissing Contest, where every week we try to outdo each other with our craziest real life stories. Today, the Jezebel staff is feeling a little rough after a Thursday night spent welcoming new staff writer Bobby Finger with karaoke and too much beer, so we’re using our pain to inspire this week’s theme:…

Everything is disgusting and we're all going to die of something at some point. That being said, just because everything's already kind of disgusting doesn't mean we shouldn't strive, as a society, to be less gross. One place we could start is doctor's stethoscopes.

In Northern California’s Bay Area, an illness that resembles polio is affecting children and doctors aren’t sure what it is. The affliction develops as a sudden weakness in the arms and legs or "symptoms of paralysis." If your child exhibits these signs, health officials recommend they see a doctor immediately.

A 44-year-old man who was diagnosed with life-threatening cancer feared that his daughter would go through high school without her father's love and guidance. And so he decided he was going to stick around — in the form of 826 prewritten notes. Tear ducts: activate.

Stepping aboard an ocean liner and putting your life in the hands of a captain who, at least on a Disney cruise, might be an actor with some off-Broadway experience dressed in a Goofy costume, takes a lot of faith, especially considering how many no good, terrible things have happened on cruise ships recently. At…

Late on New Year's Eve, it was reported that Barbara Bush, the 88-year-old former First Lady of the United States, had been admitted to a hospital on Monday for a scarily vague "respiratory related issue."

Miley Cyrus may have claimed she's disavowed Twerking in her latest interview with Rolling Stone, but she's way into something that could turn out to be much more dangerous: licking things. She's licking a hammer and a rusty chain in the Wrecking Ball video. She's licking teddy bears onstage at the VMA's. She's…

According to an article in the journal Clinical Chemistry and Laboratory Medicine (CLLM), the majority of medical research on unisex diseases done over the last 40 years focused solely on male patients. However, in plumbing the field of what they've termed "gender medicine," a study out of Padua Hospital University…

ABC news anchor — and overall classy broad — Robin Roberts took a moment out of today's Good Morning America to announce that she will soon begin treatment for M.D.S. (or myelodysplastic syndromes) a rare and serious blood disorder that affects the body's bone marrow. While the outlook for M.D.S. is often a grim one,…

Are you a baby? Did your parents make the jerky decision not to vaccinate you? Well, then are you in for some fevery, itchy, rashtastic fun! Measles is back!

Here's a new survey from the Department of Obvious Things: when ladies get sick, they're much more likely to consult Dr. Google than their actual doctors. And when they do that, Dr. Google helpfully provides the wrong diagnosis. If these women going to the internet are anything like me, Dr. Google is probably telling…

Today a grand jury in Orange County indicted 25-year-old Jessica Vega on a charge most unusual: lying about having terminal cancer so she could have a gigantic, free wedding. When Vega didn't die as promised, suspicions were aroused, her husband divorced her, and the bride found herself in trouble with the law. But…

Despite the fact that every third study that comes out seems to indicate that everything in our environment is trying to kill us with its noxious chemicals or fatty fat cells, it seems we are running around thinking everything is going to be just fine for us. According to a new survey, 62 percent of employees in the…