Brave White Men Are Marching Tomorrow for White Male Freedom

Some big dumb idiot named Kyle Hunt has organized a racist dumb idiot parade tomorrow in New York City to march for idiots' rights. And "also to make a statement that white people are united in their love for their race and in their opposition to its destruction." It's called the "White Man March" (say what you see,… » 3/14/14 7:45pm 3/14/14 7:45pm

The Daily Show Takedown of Civil War History Revisionists Is Fantastic

Courageous outlier/former New Jersey Superior Court Judge Andrew Napolitano isn't afraid to voice unpopular opinions no matter how factually inaccurate they are. The Fox News senior judicial analyst recently expressed some pretty out there (and entirely ignorant) thoughts on Abraham Lincoln and the American Civil War,… » 2/25/14 5:15pm 2/25/14 5:15pm

College Students Throw Racist Fit Over Being Denied A Snow Day

It's cold in the middle of the country. Hair follicle numbingly, butt puckeringly, jean freezingly cold. And so, when the National Weather Services forecasted treacherous wind chills for their city, University of Illinois at Urbana Champaign students collectively hoped the school's Chancellor Phyllis Wise would cancel… » 1/27/14 8:30pm 1/27/14 8:30pm

Rich Idiots Will Pay Nearly $30K a Night to Sleep in Luxury Hotels

Those darn wealthy people! It's like every time you see them, they're doing some ridiculous new thing like lighting a cigar with a $100 bill, buying their way onto lifeboats on the Titanic or tricking a rube into selling his oil-rich land for far less than it's worth. And this time's no different. Now, our world's… » 1/21/14 3:00pm 1/21/14 3:00pm

Feral Alaska Woman Sarah Palin Might Not Be Able to Read

Sarah Palin — the lush-haired simpleton who wandered out of the Alaska territory all those years ago and hasn't stopped rambling away in her chripy, feral Nell language since — is doing a lot of talking lately, this time bravely speaking up for Phil Robertson, the Duck Dynasty star who was fired from his own show… » 12/24/13 4:20pm 12/24/13 4:20pm

Megyn Kelly Insists Santa Claus and Jesus Are White Because Duh

Fox News' Megyn Kelly is pretty annoyed about Slate writer Aisha Harris' thoughtful essay "Santa Claus Should Not Be a White Man Anymore." Her counter argument? Santa Claus — a fantasy person who doesn't actually exist — should be a white man because displaying him as otherwise would be an insult to his (again,… » 12/12/13 1:30pm 12/12/13 1:30pm

Dumb Groom Calls in Bomb Threat After Forgetting to Book Wedding Venue

Everyone, I know that 99% of what I say is nonsense, but listen: If you ever find yourself in a position where you are minutes away from getting married and you realize that you've forgotten to book the venue, please — PLEASE — do not call in a bomb threat in order to distract your spouse-to-be from your epic fuck-up.… » 10/08/13 6:45pm 10/08/13 6:45pm

NYC Parents Bring Gender Exclusion to Comic Book Parties

A woman wrote into the New York Times Social Q's column with an interesting question. Her daughter had been invited to a little boy's fifth birthday. But then she was uninvited. No, it's not because she peed on his sand castle during recess — it's because she's a girl. » 8/11/13 8:30pm 8/11/13 8:30pm

These People Think Legalizing Gay Marriage Will Lead to Bestiality

The Supreme Court's DOMA and Prop 8 rulings mean I'm having sex with Erin's cat right now. Just kidding. But lots of folks — from Rand Paul to the American Family Association's Bryan Fischer — really do think it's a slippery slope from basic human rights to bestiality. Here are some of them! » 6/26/13 6:25pm 6/26/13 6:25pm

Why I'm Growing Out a Massive Clown Bush

Let's be clear. This article — "Dear Girls, Please Shave Your Pubic Hair" — written by "Bernie B" for Thought Catalog is clickbait that's meant to make you angry. And it works! I clicked, I got mad and now I'm responding to it. It's the ciiiiiiiiiircle of internet life and it moves us all, especially if you, like me, don't … » 5/25/13 3:00pm 5/25/13 3:00pm

Oklahoma Republican Says the Words 'Jew Me Down' on the House Floor

Because of his awesome judgment and giant brain, Oklahoma State Representative Dennis Johnson broke out the phrase "Jew me down on a price" during a floor debate about the challenges facing small businesses. After someone slipped him a note pointing out that it's 20-fucking-13 and the last year in which it was acceptable … » 4/22/13 9:30pm 4/22/13 9:30pm

Fat Substance Abuser Rush Limbaugh Calls Lesbians Fat Substance Abusers

Third Rate Sad Wang Rush Limbaugh took it to the next bullshit level when he spoke some truly insane nonsense about lesbians and alcohol and fatness and yeah. Actually, it sounds like he's explaining a personal fantasy of his, but nope — it's just some good old-fashioned hate-mongering from King Bigot. » 3/27/13 10:00am 3/27/13 10:00am

Noted Asshole Says Sandy Hook Massacre Wouldn't Have Happened If There…

Conservative commentator/demon lady Charlotte Allen is behind some of the biggest anti-feminist hits of the past decade: she's argued that sexy Halloween costumes justify rape, mocked transgender rights, and straight-up called women dumb. » 12/19/12 6:00pm 12/19/12 6:00pm

World's Worst Murder Plot to Electrocute Man and Blame it on His Cat Is …

OK, I had to draw out a diagram to figure out exactly what happened in this insane murder mess. So, we've got Brett Nash, a 46-year-old former barge worker, who planned to abduct, extort, and electrocute a rich dude who was trying to get with Nash's wife. He then planned to pin the murder on the rich dude's cat. He… » 12/05/12 10:15pm 12/05/12 10:15pm

Todd 'Legitimate Rape' Akin Wishes Claire McCaskill Were More Ladylike

Femininity expert and giant elderly fetus Todd Akin is moving his mouth parts and making awful sounds again. This time, rather than sharing his opinions about Rape Science, he's got an opinion about his opponent Senator Claire McCaskill, who he has determined is poised to lose the election because she is less "ladylike"… » 9/27/12 7:15pm 9/27/12 7:15pm