Are You the Idiot Who Would Buy Katy Perry's Left Shark Onesie?

After shutting down Etsy vendors who were trying to memorialize the famed "Left Shark" of the 2015 Super Bowl halftime show in art, Katy Perry has revealed her master plan: To make big bucks selling her own Left Shark merchandise. Tell me, are you the idiot who would buy this? » 3/03/15 11:10am 3/03/15 11:10am

Rudy Giuliani: I'm Not Racist; Our Dumb President Had a White Mom

When last we heard from Rudy Giuliani, he was saying pretty stupid things. Less than 24 hours later, he decided to do damage control by saying more stupid things. And now he's gone from being stupid and mildly racist to full-on idiotic and racist in an attempt to do even more damage control/get more attention. Stop. » 2/20/15 9:50am 2/20/15 9:50am

Six Michigan Frats and Sororities Suspended for Trashing Ski Lodges

Six fraternities and sororities at the University of Michigan have been suspended for absolutely trashing two ski resorts, damage that's estimated to exceed $50,000. There are still plenty of pictures of the wreckage on photo-sharing app Sneek, with some students arguing it's really no big deal. » 1/27/15 2:20pm 1/27/15 2:20pm

Long Island High Schoolers Busted After Appalling Rape T-Shirt Joke

A group of seniors from Commack High School in Long Island are in trouble after tweeting out a photo of themselves in homemade t-shirts spelling out "R-A-P-E-?," followed by another photo that includes an additional teen (likely a boy dressed in drag), bound with duct tape and laid at their feet, with the t-shirts… » 9/19/14 3:15pm 9/19/14 3:15pm

Kid Preaches that Women 'Deserve Rape,' Is Sad About Having No Friends

About a year ago, we covered the antics of Dean "Brother Dean" Saxton, a University of Arizona student who's styled himself a sort of one-boy Westboro Baptist Church. Saxton considers himself a "sign from God," and whiles away the hours preaching on campus about how whores "deserve rape," everyone should stop… » 5/05/14 7:45pm 5/05/14 7:45pm

#WhiteManMarchProtestSigns Is Trending And It Is Hilarious!

If you didn't know already, the White Man March is happening today. And it's happening WORLDWIDE. Or at least that's the hope of Kyle Hunt who has organized the event to draw attention to the fact that diversity is genocide and that claiming to be anti-racist is a euphemism for being anti-white. Okay! » 3/15/14 1:30pm 3/15/14 1:30pm

Brave White Men Are Marching Tomorrow for White Male Freedom

Some big dumb idiot named Kyle Hunt has organized a racist dumb idiot parade tomorrow in New York City to march for idiots' rights. And "also to make a statement that white people are united in their love for their race and in their opposition to its destruction." It's called the "White Man March" (say what you see,… » 3/14/14 7:45pm 3/14/14 7:45pm

The Daily Show Takedown of Civil War History Revisionists Is Fantastic

Courageous outlier/former New Jersey Superior Court Judge Andrew Napolitano isn't afraid to voice unpopular opinions no matter how factually inaccurate they are. The Fox News senior judicial analyst recently expressed some pretty out there (and entirely ignorant) thoughts on Abraham Lincoln and the American Civil War,… » 2/25/14 5:15pm 2/25/14 5:15pm

College Students Throw Racist Fit Over Being Denied A Snow Day

It's cold in the middle of the country. Hair follicle numbingly, butt puckeringly, jean freezingly cold. And so, when the National Weather Services forecasted treacherous wind chills for their city, University of Illinois at Urbana Champaign students collectively hoped the school's Chancellor Phyllis Wise would cancel… » 1/27/14 8:30pm 1/27/14 8:30pm

Rich Idiots Will Pay Nearly $30K a Night to Sleep in Luxury Hotels

Those darn wealthy people! It's like every time you see them, they're doing some ridiculous new thing like lighting a cigar with a $100 bill, buying their way onto lifeboats on the Titanic or tricking a rube into selling his oil-rich land for far less than it's worth. And this time's no different. Now, our world's… » 1/21/14 3:00pm 1/21/14 3:00pm

Feral Alaska Woman Sarah Palin Might Not Be Able to Read

Sarah Palin — the lush-haired simpleton who wandered out of the Alaska territory all those years ago and hasn't stopped rambling away in her chripy, feral Nell language since — is doing a lot of talking lately, this time bravely speaking up for Phil Robertson, the Duck Dynasty star who was fired from his own show… » 12/24/13 4:20pm 12/24/13 4:20pm

Megyn Kelly Insists Santa Claus and Jesus Are White Because Duh

Fox News' Megyn Kelly is pretty annoyed about Slate writer Aisha Harris' thoughtful essay "Santa Claus Should Not Be a White Man Anymore." Her counter argument? Santa Claus — a fantasy person who doesn't actually exist — should be a white man because displaying him as otherwise would be an insult to his (again,… » 12/12/13 1:30pm 12/12/13 1:30pm

Dumb Groom Calls in Bomb Threat After Forgetting to Book Wedding Venue

Everyone, I know that 99% of what I say is nonsense, but listen: If you ever find yourself in a position where you are minutes away from getting married and you realize that you've forgotten to book the venue, please — PLEASE — do not call in a bomb threat in order to distract your spouse-to-be from your epic… » 10/08/13 6:45pm 10/08/13 6:45pm

NYC Parents Bring Gender Exclusion to Comic Book Parties

A woman wrote into the New York Times Social Q's column with an interesting question. Her daughter had been invited to a little boy's fifth birthday. But then she was uninvited. No, it's not because she peed on his sand castle during recess — it's because she's a girl. » 8/11/13 8:30pm 8/11/13 8:30pm

These People Think Legalizing Gay Marriage Will Lead to Bestiality

The Supreme Court's DOMA and Prop 8 rulings mean I'm having sex with Erin's cat right now. Just kidding. But lots of folks — from Rand Paul to the American Family Association's Bryan Fischer — really do think it's a slippery slope from basic human rights to bestiality. Here are some of them! » 6/26/13 6:25pm 6/26/13 6:25pm

Why I'm Growing Out a Massive Clown Bush

Let's be clear. This article — "Dear Girls, Please Shave Your Pubic Hair" — written by "Bernie B" for Thought Catalog is clickbait that's meant to make you angry. And it works! I clicked, I got mad and now I'm responding to it. It's the ciiiiiiiiiircle of internet life and it moves us all, especially if you, like me,… » 5/25/13 3:00pm 5/25/13 3:00pm

Undesirable, Unfunny Bro Shows You How to 'Pick Up Grandmas'

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the beginning of the end. America, a once great nation (arguable), has descended into complete depravity — and it's all thanks to some jackass junior bro "comedians" (read: idiots with a camera phone and a hard-on for their own shit jokes). » 4/24/13 10:50am 4/24/13 10:50am

Oklahoma Republican Says the Words 'Jew Me Down' on the House Floor

Because of his awesome judgment and giant brain, Oklahoma State Representative Dennis Johnson broke out the phrase "Jew me down on a price" during a floor debate about the challenges facing small businesses. After someone slipped him a note pointing out that it's 20-fucking-13 and the last year in which it was… » 4/22/13 9:30pm 4/22/13 9:30pm

Fat Substance Abuser Rush Limbaugh Calls Lesbians Fat Substance Abusers

Third Rate Sad Wang Rush Limbaugh took it to the next bullshit level when he spoke some truly insane nonsense about lesbians and alcohol and fatness and yeah. Actually, it sounds like he's explaining a personal fantasy of his, but nope — it's just some good old-fashioned hate-mongering from King Bigot. » 3/27/13 10:00am 3/27/13 10:00am

Look Out, Heathens: Sarah Palin Is Writing a Book on Christmas

Looks like Christmas has come early! Sarah Palin, former governor of Alaska and VP candidate, is working on a new book about the December Christian holiday and the Godless pagans who keep trying to destroy it. (Hiiiiiii!) » 3/12/13 10:00am 3/12/13 10:00am