Courageous outlier/former New Jersey Superior Court Judge Andrew Napolitano isn't afraid to voice unpopular opinions no matter how factually inaccurate they are. The Fox News senior judicial analyst recently expressed some pretty out there (and entirely ignorant) thoughts on Abraham Lincoln and the American Civil War,…
It's cold in the middle of the country. Hair follicle numbingly, butt puckeringly, jean freezingly cold. And so, when the National Weather Services forecasted treacherous wind chills for their city, University of Illinois at Urbana Champaign students collectively hoped the school's Chancellor Phyllis Wise would cancel…
Those darn wealthy people! It's like every time you see them, they're doing some ridiculous new thing like lighting a cigar with a $100 bill, buying their way onto lifeboats on the Titanic or tricking a rube into selling his oil-rich land for far less than it's worth. And this time's no different. Now, our world's…
Sarah Palin — the lush-haired simpleton who wandered out of the Alaska territory all those years ago and hasn't stopped rambling away in her chripy, feral Nell language since — is doing a lot of talking lately, this time bravely speaking up for Phil Robertson, the Duck Dynasty star who was fired from his own show…
Fox News' Megyn Kelly is pretty annoyed about Slate writer Aisha Harris' thoughtful essay "Santa Claus Should Not Be a White Man Anymore." Her counter argument? Santa Claus — a fantasy person who doesn't actually exist — should be a white man because displaying him as otherwise would be an insult to his (again,…
Everyone, I know that 99% of what I say is nonsense, but listen: If you ever find yourself in a position where you are minutes away from getting married and you realize that you've forgotten to book the venue, please — PLEASE — do not call in a bomb threat in order to distract your spouse-to-be from your epic fuck-up.…
A woman wrote into the New York Times Social Q's column with an interesting question. Her daughter had been invited to a little boy's fifth birthday. But then she was uninvited. No, it's not because she peed on his sand castle during recess — it's because she's a girl.
The Supreme Court's DOMA and Prop 8 rulings
Let's be clear. This article — "Dear Girls, Please Shave Your Pubic Hair" — written by "Bernie B" for Thought Catalog is clickbait that's meant to make you angry. And it works! I clicked, I got mad and now I'm responding to it. It's the ciiiiiiiiiircle of internet life and it moves us all, especially if you, like me, don't …
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the beginning of the end. America, a once great nation (arguable), has descended into complete depravity — and it's all thanks to some jackass junior bro "comedians" (read: idiots with a camera phone and a hard-on for their own shit jokes).
Because of his awesome judgment and giant brain, Oklahoma State Representative Dennis Johnson broke out the phrase "Jew me down on a price" during a floor debate about the challenges facing small businesses. After someone slipped him a note pointing out that it's 20-fucking-13 and the last year in which it was acceptable …
Third Rate Sad Wang Rush Limbaugh took it to the next bullshit level when he spoke some truly insane nonsense about lesbians and alcohol and fatness and yeah. Actually, it sounds like he's explaining a personal fantasy of his, but nope — it's just some good old-fashioned hate-mongering from King Bigot.
Looks like Christmas has come early! Sarah Palin, former governor of Alaska and VP candidate, is working on a new book about the December Christian holiday and the Godless pagans who keep trying to destroy it. (Hiiiiiii!)
It is 1986. We are 13- and 14-year-olds, rank-smelling in unwashed teenager jeans, unsupervised and latch-keyed after school, huddled around the face of the future: The screen of a first-generation Apple Macintosh personal computer. Within the machine's non-dairy creamer-colored casing is a malleable visual playground…
Conservative commentator/demon lady Charlotte Allen is behind some of the biggest anti-feminist hits of the past decade: she's argued that sexy Halloween costumes justify rape, mocked transgender rights, and straight-up called women dumb.
OK, I had to draw out a diagram to figure out exactly what happened in this insane murder mess. So, we've got Brett Nash, a 46-year-old former barge worker, who planned to abduct, extort, and electrocute a rich dude who was trying to get with Nash's wife. He then planned to pin the murder on the rich dude's cat. He…
You guys. Seriously. Seriously. The dummies using the #TCOT (Top Conservatives on) Twitter hashtag are really, truly something else.
Femininity expert and giant elderly fetus Todd Akin is moving his mouth parts and making awful sounds again. This time, rather than sharing his opinions about Rape Science, he's got an opinion about his opponent Senator Claire McCaskill, who he has determined is poised to lose the election because she is less "ladylike"…
In a rare moment of reach-across-the-aisle candor, human fartstack Rick Santorum conveyed to the Values Voters Summit something polite people had been thinking but hesitated to say in public: Values Voters are dum-dums. Really.
Here's a video of Jesse Lee Peterson, frequent Fox News guest and vocal Tea Party supporter, saying some really nutty stuff about how women are ruining everything. If you're like me and get great joy out of watching out-of-touch Neanderthals embarrass themselves, you'll love this video.
