I guess you could say I’m a “romantic.” I love that moment, on a second or third date, when you catch that person’s eye and hold it for a second and you know, you just know, that something amazing is about to happen between you but this moment of anticipation is so delicious that you want to savor it, and then you…
In a frankly laudable display of self-awareness, one of the men who occupied a nature preserve in Oregon earlier this year has filed court documents declaring himself an “idiot” and “incompetent.” Ryan Bundy says he’s not subject to federal law, due to his idiocy.
A befuddled British voter named Adam who is having a very bewildering day told the BBC that he is “a bit shocked, to be honest” that he voted to leave the EU and now Britain has done gone and left the EU. Adam, whose last name was mercifully withheld, didn’t think his vote counted, you see.
In an interview with CNN today, Florida Governor Rick Scott—an empty shell of a man so comically villainous that comparisons to Voldemort are unfair to Voldemort—defended Florida’s gun laws. In the interview, Scott was asked about President Obama’s speech where he challenged, “those who defend the easy accessibility…
As you may have heard, Obama recently instructed public schools to allow transgender students to use whichever bathroom aligns with their gender identity. Republicans—for whom bathroom activities are evidently paramount—will not stand for this, because they are nothing if not valiant protectors of women, and also…
Owen Labrie, now 20, was released from jail on Monday, May 16. Labrie, who was convicted of sexually assaulting a 15-year-old classmate at the elite St. Paul’s School in 2014, was sent to jail in March after violating the terms of his bail. Though he was initially sentenced to a year, Merrimack County Judge Larry…
Administrators at Bullard Elementary School in Kennesaw, Georgia, have had to change elements of its yoga and mindfulness practices after parents protested that their children were being corrupted by evil non-Christian beliefs.
Kentucky’s new governor Matt Bevin, whose political views and personal affect are a cross between Ted Cruz and a labradoodle, has posted a video of himself marching through Kentucky’s empty House chambers to prove that Democrats aren’t working on the budget.
Ehsan Abdulaziz, a 46-year-old British millionaire, has responded to allegations that he raped an 18-year-old by saying first that “she’ll have to prove it,” and second that he probably fell inside her. A PSA to future bros attempting the same defense: a vagina is actually not a manhole. You can’t just fall into one.
Mary Carney, a Marshfield, Wisconsin School Board member, member of the Central Wisconsin Tea Party and Very Frightened Person, will attempt today to do right by her child, her faith, and the Statue of Liberty by wresting Jim Henson’s For Every Child, a Better World out of the hands of vulnerable kindergarteners.
Tom Brady, who said earlier this month that a Trump presidency “would be great” because Donald Trump gave him a free hat once and is “a hell of a lot of fun to play golf with,” has since chastised the media for taking his opinions seriously.
Shawn Bunn, a computer lab manager at Harvard University and verified adult baby, has been accused of using his University-issued credit card to pay for $80,000 worth of Lego sets and electronics.
You know who else was 19, reportedly? Tank Man, at Tiananmen Square. Lexi is just like him, except the exact opposite: in a figurative sense—the Ferguson PD seems to have put away the military-grade weaponry they deployed to inflammatory and officially unconstitutional effect last year—she’s got her back to the tanks.
Ansel Elgort, honorary teen, was interviewed by DJ friend and actual teen Martin Garrix for Teen Vogue. The resulting article is—as we have come to expect from this poreless maniac—a volcanic eruption of idiocy. I’m having a panic attack. Let’s dig in!
According to the New York Post, this summer’s hottest fad is peeing, and talking about your pee with your friends to see whose pee is the best.
The Donald, seriously miffed after Univision ended its relationship with Miss Universe in response to his ugly bleats about Mexican immigrants, decided to let Univision CEO and president Randy Falco know just who he’s messing with.
On Friday, the Family Court of Australia overturned an injunction filed on June 5th that banned a mother from breastfeeding her 11-month-old on the absurd basis that her recent tattoo endangered the child.