Real talk: Hypnotherapy is awesome, but it will never take the place of weight-loss surgery. Why? Because one is a medical procedure that transforms your stomach and hormones forever, and the other is a motivational tool that works only if you really want it to. Save your money! Buy a guided CD instead.
Cat Bounce is a website where you can make cats bounce. It's totally mesmerizing and I'm pretty sure it's an advanced hypnosis technology that was put in place by the cat army to finally have complete control. I'd say to fight, it but what's the point? Actually, don't fight it and don't resist. Cats cats cats cats.
On-campus entertainment can be really hit or miss unless your college a) has a competitive sports team and you can muster the cognitive dissonance required to enjoy a sport that's exploiting its student athletes for the enrichment of a nefarious athletic director, or b) sells booze at the campus gift shop. Case in…