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Happy 'Conservative Dudes Shit On Your Rights Day,' Ladies!

To be completely fair, every day is Conservative Dudes Shit On Your Rights Day if you look at things from the right (pun intended) angle. But even in the current anti-letting women mind their own bodies climate, today was special. Isn't it nice to know that some old guys in Washington who you'll never meet care so… » 1/15/14 2:10pm 1/15/14 2:10pm

Who's Really to Blame for the Looming Government Shutdown? Sluts.

And they say that in 2013 women still don't have any power. Behold, the US government, steward of the most powerful and wealthy country in the world, is about to be brought to its knees by a group of post-fertile conservatives who, more than anything, fear a loosening of their demographic's grip over the choices of… » 9/30/13 12:40pm 9/30/13 12:40pm

GOP Adds Measure to Limit Contraception Coverage in Spending Bill

Right now, as we sit here twiddling our thumbs in the face of a probable government shutdown, the House of Representatives has been transformed into a nightmare version of Santa’s workshop, where evil House Republican elves are working all through the night on legislation that would limit women’s access to… » 9/29/13 12:30pm 9/29/13 12:30pm

White Dude Trying to Shut Down Government Compares Self to Rosa Parks

I can totally understand a person consciously trying to not pay attention to Congress lately; everyone knows that the best way to deal with a child throwing a tantrum is to refuse to reward them with attention. But we've gotten to the point where the Congressional toddler is holding his breath and threatening to pass… » 9/20/13 4:20pm 9/20/13 4:20pm

GOP Appoints Woman to Be New Person to Say Dumb Crap About Women

If your roof is leaking, hiring an interior decorator to redo your living room won't keep your ceiling from eventually collapsing. Likewise, if you're a a political party struggling to preserve what's left of its rapidly-fraying relevance, appointing a different messenger won't change the fact that the message is… » 6/17/13 1:20pm 6/17/13 1:20pm

GOP Offers Women an Olive Branch By Appointing Men to Chair Every…

The Republican Party might as well rename itself The Sausage Party. After a series of very important meetings, House of Representatives' majority party has chosen the legislators who will occupy the all-important roles of committee chairs during the next session. And, to the surprise of no one, every person they… » 11/28/12 11:50am 11/28/12 11:50am

Arizona Is This Close to Electing an Openly Bisexual Woman to Congress

Conservatives, polish off your finest clutching pearls: after a close race, we're getting closer to a winner in Arizona's 9th Congressional district, and she's a Bill O'Reilly nightmare. Meet Kyrsten Sinema, a 36-year-old pro-LGBT, pro-environment, pro-choice, non-religious, openly bisexual Democrat in her thirties.… » 11/08/12 12:40pm 11/08/12 12:40pm

Pro-Life Pol Who Pressured His Mistress to Have an Abortion Says It's…

Scott DesJarlais, the pro family values anti-abortion rights Tennessee Tea Party Congressman who it turns out was actually only pro-family values and anti-abortion rights for people who aren't Scott DesJarlais, now claims that the tape transcript released last week wherein he pressured his mistress/ex patient to have… » 10/15/12 12:10pm 10/15/12 12:10pm

Congress to Waste Everyone's Time by Repealing Obamacare Again

Freshly visor tanned and whipped into a state that psychologists call "Republican post-Independence Day golf frenzy," the GOP-controlled House of Representatives has introduced a bill that will repeal the Affordable Care Act, fulfilling the frothy wet dreams of Tea Partiers across the country. Of course, there's no… » 7/09/12 12:00pm 7/09/12 12:00pm

GOP Women Vote to Slam Glass Ceiling Shut Behind Them

Great news, fans of supergroups. The twenty-four Republican women in the US House of Representatives have joined forces to form the Women's Policy Committee, a group that's supposed to raise the profile of the conservative ladies serving in Congress. Too bad that Team Awesome has spent most of its Girl Power Time in… » 5/22/12 9:10pm 5/22/12 9:10pm

New Version of Violence Against Women Act Shows GOP Only Hates the Most…

Faced with accusations that their opposition to renewal of the Violence Against Women Act is a sign that they've taken a very unpopular "pro-woman beating" stance, Congressional Republicans are hurriedly drafting their own version of the bill to prove that they don't hate all women. Their version will be sort of like… » 4/25/12 9:00pm 4/25/12 9:00pm

Report Confirms Congress a Bunch of Old White Dudes

A new report has found that in spite of cultural advancement, American lawmakers are still overwhelmingly old, overwhelmingly white, and overwhelmingly male. A whopping 85% of Senators and about 83% of House members are dudes, and their average age hovers around 60. It's no wonder Congress legislates like a bitter old… » 2/27/12 12:50pm 2/27/12 12:50pm

Members of Congress Will Go on Awkward Dates with Each Other at the…


If you needed further proof that Congress is basically an only slightly more grown up version of high school, this should convince you: As if ordered by an exasperated guidance counselor (paging Tami Taylor), lawmakers from each party have agreed to sit next to members from across the aisle during Tuesday's State of… » 1/22/12 9:30pm 1/22/12 9:30pm

House Republican's Bloody Economic Logic

Ladies and gentlemen, the "pro-life" explanation for what the three draconian House bills restricting reproductive rights have to do with fiscal responsibility: "It is an economic and a moral issue, so anytime you can kill two birds with one stone, we ought to do that. And if we can kill the whole flock with one rock,… » 2/11/11 5:35pm 2/11/11 5:35pm