Horse Bridesmaid Cruelly Forced to Wait Outside Church During Ceremony

Obviously this is a story out of the UK. It's the Britishiest British story ever Britted. The scene: Coddington, Nottinghamshire. We deal not with a fox wearing a feathered cap and tunic, stealing from the rich to give to the poor, but with a horse chosen to be a bridesmaid. Putting the mare in marriage. » 11/04/13 12:30pm 11/04/13 12:30pm

A Horse Walks Into a McDonald's… And Shits on the Floor

A woman in Manchester, UK, tried to order at the drive-thru window at McDonald's, but was denied. The problem? She was on horseback. Clearly in the midst of a Big Mac Attack (so hungry she could eat a horse?), the woman was undeterred: She decided to enter the restaurant and order at the counter. And she took the… » 7/22/13 3:15pm 7/22/13 3:15pm

Are Horses Indolent Layabouts? Researchers Think Maybe

Humans have expected horses to trundle us and all our crap around ever since our sore-footed ancestors came upon the first majestic equus gazing alone in a vale and thought, “Huh, that thing could totally carry some of us around for a little while, just until our corns go away.” Before horses knew what was happening,… » 4/28/13 2:00pm 4/28/13 2:00pm

Mitt Romney Gives Zero Fucks About His Fancy Dancing Horse's Olympic…

Mitt Romney's visit to the UK would have been disastrous enough if he'd just shut up after pissing off the British press, the Prime Minister, and the mayor of London. But he had to take it a step farther and go beyond insulting his host country and their Olympic efforts — in an attempt to get people to think he was… » 7/30/12 1:10pm 7/30/12 1:10pm

Chantal Sutherland Becomes First Lady Jockey Ever to Win the Hollywood…

On Saturday, Chantal Sutherland became the first female jockey to win the Hollywood Gold Cup in the race's 73-year history. Hooray! Sutherland successfully piggybacked on an exceptionally swift-footed quadruped named Game On Dude, earning a cool half million in prize money and a chance to compete in the $5 million… » 7/08/12 12:00pm 7/08/12 12:00pm

Mitt Romney's Fancy Horse Is Worth More Than Your Entire Family.…

Rafalca, Mitt Romney's frou frou Olympics-bound dressage horse, nets the family a $77,000 tax credit per year. Since Normals who produce mere human children only get a $1,000 tax credit per child, it therefore stands to reason that Rafalca Romney is worth 77 human children. Certainly more than your entire family. » 6/20/12 6:00pm 6/20/12 6:00pm

Ann Romney's Fancy Dancing Horse Is Headed to the Olympics

Because the Romneys are just normal, regular, down-to-earth human people like you and me—and certainly not extremely lifelike robot replicants that eat civil rights and poop out money—it's totally normal that they not only own a horse, but also had the time and resources to teach it to fucking dance. The Romneys'… » 6/19/12 12:15pm 6/19/12 12:15pm

Rick Santorum Courts 5-Year-Old Girl Vote With Staunchly Pro Horse, Pro…

Scandal from the Santorum camp: the bevested holy roller with less self awareness than a dog licking its balls during a dinner party has downplayed his past — and that past could destroy his reputation as someone with almost completely repugnant views. It seems that throughout his political career, while comparing gay… » 3/23/12 5:15pm 3/23/12 5:15pm