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New York, 5:32 AM
Thu Dec 10
65 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #horrors more →

    The Under-Bed Burglar, 1909

    TMI IMs

    Girlfriend-Killer Bobby Cutts' Tears Convince No One

    "She Was Begging Them In Swahili, Saying 'Please, Please, Please' Over And Over Again."
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of la.donna.pietra la.donna.pietra
    05/19/09

    In reply to The Under-Bed Burglar, 1909
    True story: I discovered my mom owned a Colt 45 on Christmas Eve, 1991 when some crazed speed freak started pounding on our front door at about 9 p.m. and giggling hysterically. (We couldn't see out the peephole, as the wreath was covering it up.) She was in a pink bathrobe wearing bunny slippers at the time, too.


    She spent the next hour pointing it at the door while Mr. Speed Freak pounded, giggled, and apparently got bored and wandered off about 15 minutes before the cops showed up. Made quite an impression on 15-year-old me.

     Reply
    la.donna.pietra was starred la.donna.pietra was unstarred
    Image of BabyJane BabyJane
    05/19/09

    In reply to The Under-Bed Burglar, 1909
    Oh, how I long for the good ol' days, when burglars cared enough to dress in three piece suits before they broke in to my house through an open window. It was all so much more genteel back then.
     Reply
    BabyJane was starred BabyJane was unstarred
    Image of PreposterousHypothesis PreposterousHypothesis
    05/19/09

    In reply to The Under-Bed Burglar, 1909
    Nope, ladies don't argue! Ladies fill burglar's faces full of lead. Daintily.
     Reply
    PreposterousHypothesis was starred PreposterousHypothesis was unstarred
    Image of raphaela raphaela
    05/19/09

    In reply to The Under-Bed Burglar, 1909
    If there is a burglar under my bed, could he please push out that pair of summer shoes I've been too lazy to fish for?
     Reply
    raphaela was starred raphaela was unstarred
    Image of formergr formergr
    05/19/09

    @raphaela: And really, the least he could do is to sweep up those dust bunnies while down there, too.
     Reply
    formergr was starred formergr was unstarred
    Image of Gumbina80 Gumbina80
    05/19/09

    In reply to The Under-Bed Burglar, 1909
    "Oh, so this isn't a rehearsal hall for the barbershop quartet? My apologies, madam. I will be riding away on my bicycle with the enormous front wheel."
     Reply
    Gumbina80 was starred Gumbina80 was unstarred
    Image of BabyJane BabyJane
    05/19/09

    @Gumbina80: I love it!
     Reply
    BabyJane was starred BabyJane was unstarred
    Image of kelsium kelsium
    05/19/09

    In reply to The Under-Bed Burglar, 1909
    Nothing describes "person engaged in a felony" like "naughty". Adjective win.
     Reply
    kelsium was starred kelsium was unstarred
    Image of happysquid happysquid
    05/19/09

    @kelsium:


    what if it's a cat burglar?

     Reply
    happysquid was starred happysquid was unstarred
    Image of JessicaLovejoy: Laughing, riding, cornholing! JessicaLovejoy: Laughing, riding, cornholing!
    05/19/09

    In reply to The Under-Bed Burglar, 1909
    And to her supreme delight, it appeared that Morpheus had chosen the little blue pill, not the red one.
     Reply
    JessicaLovejoy: Laughing, riding, cornholing! was starred JessicaLovejoy: Laughing, riding, cornholing! was unstarred
    Image of Annabellie Annabellie
    05/19/09

    In reply to The Under-Bed Burglar, 1909
    Morpheus like in the Sandman graphic novels? Because I wouldn't mind being wrapped in his arms, even if he is kind of a snob and has a tendency to mope.
     Reply
    Annabellie was starred Annabellie was unstarred
    Image of AtomiClash: humanitarian misanthrope AtomiClash: humanitarian misanthrope
    05/19/09

    @Annabellie: Morpheus like the Greek god of dreams, I think.
     Reply
    AtomiClash: humanitarian misanthrope was starred AtomiClash: humanitarian misanthrope was unstarred
    Image of Annabellie Annabellie
    05/19/09

    @AtomiClash: Sometimes my attempts to be humorous don't work so well on the internets :(
     Reply
    Annabellie was starred Annabellie was unstarred
    Image of AtomiClash: humanitarian misanthrope AtomiClash: humanitarian misanthrope
    05/19/09

    @Annabellie: hehe and the references to somewhat lesser-known graphic novels? :)
     Reply
    AtomiClash: humanitarian misanthrope was starred AtomiClash: humanitarian misanthrope was unstarred
    Image of Annabellie Annabellie
    05/19/09

    @AtomiClash: Damn my nerdiness! Damn it all to hell! Hehehehe
     Reply
    Annabellie was starred Annabellie was unstarred
    Image of pear.shaped.Sara pear.shaped.Sara
    05/19/09

    @Annabellie: omg, if I could heart you again for that I would! My boyfriend gave me the entirety of Sandman on a thumb drive and I stayed up into the wee hours of the night reading it. Marvelous!
     Reply
    pear.shaped.Sara was starred pear.shaped.Sara was unstarred
    Image of AtomiClash: humanitarian misanthrope AtomiClash: humanitarian misanthrope
    05/19/09

    @Annabellie: because referencing Greek mythology is so not nerdy. hahaha. I love that I am amidst fellow geeks here at Jezebel.
     Reply
    AtomiClash: humanitarian misanthrope was starred AtomiClash: humanitarian misanthrope was unstarred
    Image of SisterNamedDesire SisterNamedDesire
    05/19/09

    @AtomiClash: Friended! As soon as I saw Morpheus my mind drifted to Sandman too :)
     Reply
    SisterNamedDesire was starred SisterNamedDesire was unstarred
    Image of Annabellie Annabellie
    05/19/09

    @SisterNamedDesire: Yay! And yay for you being named after a Tori Amos song that is also a Sandman reference. That is double awesome!
     Reply
    Annabellie was starred Annabellie was unstarred
    Image of Ailatan Ailatan
    05/19/09

    In reply to The Under-Bed Burglar, 1909
    I love the LADIES DON'T ARGUE... with a burglar.

    This is awesome.
     Reply
    Ailatan was starred Ailatan was unstarred
    Image of happysquid happysquid
    05/19/09

    In reply to The Under-Bed Burglar, 1909
    That burglar has an intense 'stache.
     Reply
    happysquid was starred happysquid was unstarred
    Image of LaMorena LaMorena
    05/19/09

    @happysquid: I think he's after her hamburgers.
     Reply
    LaMorena was starred LaMorena was unstarred
    Image of Jack_Burton Jack_Burton
    05/19/09

    @happysquid: Indeed, he's quite dapper, being dressed in the height of ruffian fashion and his hat may look sharp, but surely he will resort to fisticuffs or a tussle, if challenged.
     Reply
    Jack_Burton was starred Jack_Burton was unstarred
    Image of NefariousNewt NefariousNewt
    05/19/09

    In reply to The Under-Bed Burglar, 1909
    "Hello, Mrs. Anderson..."
     Reply
    NefariousNewt was starred NefariousNewt was unstarred
    Image of pesematology pesematology
    05/19/09

    In reply to The Under-Bed Burglar, 1909
    So that thing is for shooting Morpheus so you never have to sleep then? I'm confused because I thought back in those days they could just come right out and say they were selling uppers.
     Reply
    pesematology was starred pesematology was unstarred
    Image of AtomiClash: humanitarian misanthrope AtomiClash: humanitarian misanthrope
    05/19/09

    @pesematology: I hardly think a hand gun could be considered an upper.
     Reply
    AtomiClash: humanitarian misanthrope was starred AtomiClash: humanitarian misanthrope was unstarred
    Image of AtomiClash: humanitarian misanthrope AtomiClash: humanitarian misanthrope
    05/19/09

    In reply to The Under-Bed Burglar, 1909
    Anybody else picturing Lawrence Fishburn giving a family a group hug?
     Reply
    AtomiClash: humanitarian misanthrope was starred AtomiClash: humanitarian misanthrope was unstarred
    Image of tinydundie42 tinydundie42
    05/19/09

    @AtomiClash: Yes!
     Reply
    tinydundie42 was starred tinydundie42 was unstarred
    Image of Mediokra Mediokra
    05/19/09

    @AtomiClash: Oh god, yes, that is exactly where my mind went.
     Reply
    Mediokra was starred Mediokra was unstarred
    Image of Jack_Burton Jack_Burton
    12/31/08

    In reply to TMI IMs
    Ladies - yet another argument for making your partner hit the mouthwash before s/he goes down!!!


    Brushing teeth pre-contact can cause bleeding gums - and increased exposure risk. Not advised.


    MOUTHWASH - it's the way to go, to help kill the bad stuff, before it creeps into yer cooter.

     Reply
    Jack_Burton was starred Jack_Burton was unstarred
    Image of Raspberry Swirly Raspberry Swirly
    12/31/08

    In reply to TMI IMs
    I tend to overshare with certain friends. But these are friends I've had for 4 years and up. Everyone else, though, I really don't want to hear things like this from them.
     Reply
    Raspberry Swirly was starred Raspberry Swirly was unstarred
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