NASCAR driver Kurt Busch, who's accused of domestic abuse by his former girlfriend Patricia Driscoll, testified in court this week that he couldn't possibly be guilty of violence against her — because, he claims, Driscoll is a trained assassin. He accused his ex of carrying out covert operations for years and said…

You think those people who can make music out of mundane kitchen tools are ridiculously talented? Pfft, wait until you see what one man can do with nothing but balloons.

If you're reading this, chances are you're not in church. And you're not alone. According to a recent survey that measured Christian churchgoing behavior among America's women over the last 20 years, we're all getting decidedly less godly.

The Pope recently (kind of) okayed the use of condoms for male prostitutes to guard against HIV transmission — now he's clarified that his stance applies to women too.

In his new book, Men Deserve All the Advantages, Pope Benedict XVI says male prostitutes can use condoms without going to Hell—er, "without going to Hell as quickly as they will otherwise." Women prostitutes still aren't allowed.

Tumblr Tea Party Jesus lets Christ repeat quotes from those who claim to be his most devout followers. Apparently Jesus hates feeding hungry children as much as Rush Limbaugh, and shares Sharron Angle's harsh views on abortion. [TeaPartyJesus via Buzzfeed]