Hey, What's That on Pluto?

Hello, small human on a minuscule planet. There’s some nifty stuff going on in the infinite universe. Specifically, the New Horizons spacecraft—or, to use the technical term, “space thingy”—has completed its a nine-and-a-half year trip to Pluto and scientists are getting sexy close-up shots of our favorite dwarf…
Church Fires Unwed Mother For Refusing to Marry Fiancé
Apryl Kellam was dismissed from her position at a church day care after refusing to marry her fiancé. Kellam told CBS 6 that she was fired by her supervisor at Staples Mill Road Baptist Church in Virginia because she was in violation of church policy.
Houston's Lesbian Mayor Is Getting Flooded With Protest Bibles
Houston mayor Annise Parker has been sent between 500 and 1,000 Bibles at her home, part of a bizarre protest effort orchestrated by Mike Huckabee and Ted Cruz, and with enthusiastic support from Glenn Beck and Sean Hannity. That quartet of geniuses claims that Parker, Houston's first openly gay mayor, is spearheading…
Mom Flips Out Over Nurse Wanting to Speak Privately With Teen Daughter
One Michigan Concerned Mother is so, so, so mad that a hospital that she took her daughter to requested speaking privately with her 17-year-old daughter that she's gone public to warn other Concerned Parents that the government is restricting their "God-given" right to control all aspects of their children's life.
Vatican Takes Hard Line on Wayward American Nuns
In the latest play in the Vatican's strict two-year crackdown on those American rebel brutes known as nuns, the Cardinal Ludwig Müller (who I will just assume vaguely resembles George Mueller, from Boardwalk Empire) has taken a rather frank stance with the Leadership Conference of Women Religious (LCWR), the…
Quit Trying to Make the 'War on Easter' Happen
Apparently unsatisfied with only Yuletide declarations of being warred upon, Fox News is now trying to convince its perpetually oppressed white, male, elderly, Christian audience that another Christian holiday is Under Attack: Easter. Hey guys, get down from that cross! There's already another guy up there!
Catholic Nuns Come Out in Support of Obamacare Contraception Access
As the Supreme Court prepares to rule on the legality of private corporations denying women reproductive autonomy (because it says in the Bible that every pro-life human has a God-given right to trample upon the basic liberties of others), the National Coalition of American Nuns (NCAN) have announced that they support…
Sorry, God: Catholic Schoolgirls Use Birth Control
Three anonymous women who attend the University of Notre Dame have been granted the right to intervene in the school's lawsuit against the Affordable Care Act's birth control mandate. The school claims that because the government has declared contraception basic care for women, their right to base other people's…
Lesbian Pastors Get Married, Risk Their Careers for Love
Two female pastors in Seattle have put everything on the line for their love for one another.
Pope Francis Will Absolutely Not Appoint Any Female Cardinals
OK, don't get too excited about the new socially progressive head of the Catholic Church, Pope Francis, just yet. Turns out, he has absolutely no plans to appoint any female cardinals at all.
Pope Francis Is the Princess Diana of Popes
This morning, TIME announced that this year's Prom Queen Of News is none other than Pope Francis. The pontiff is the perfect choice for 2013's Person of the Year — he changed the Church from a mouthpiece for intolerance into one of love and acceptance. Except not really for women. He's still pretty meh about women.…
Worst Guy Ever Alert: Beware of Horrible Hipster Pastor Mark Driscoll
I wouldn't normally give extra attention to preening alpha evangedouche Mark Driscoll, but he seems to be popping up more and more in my mainstream feeds lately. His existence is not news, but if people are going to know who this guy is, I want to make sure they know who this guy is. The Seattle-based mega-pastor has…
Costco Apologizes for Selling Bibles Categorized as 'Fiction'
Costco has apologized to customers after a box of Bibles labeled "Fiction" made it to store shelves in LA. As one might imagine, this offended people who do not believe the Bible to be fiction, and amused people who do not believe the Bible to be true. Now I understand why the "religion/philosophy" category must exist…
Christian Teen Would Rather Drop Out of Big Race Than Wear Number 666
A Kentucky high school runner recently cut her season short when she opted not to run in regionals. She wasn't injured, or sick, or tending to a family emergency. No, she dropped out of the race because she was assigned the number 666 and thought that if she ran wearing that number, it would threaten her relationship…
Hell-Bound Atheists Might Be Better at Marriage Than Christians
If your marriage ceremony didn't include the Lord or his ambassadors — and instead maybe involved jumping over drum circles and then sticking banjos up your partner's butthole before making out with a litter of dogs wearing pasties and chaps?* — you might be an atheist. And if you're an atheist, there's a chance your…
