Retailers Are Having a Pretty 'Meh' Holiday Season

So, how's the consumerist orgy side of Christmas faring? Well, retailers aren't consoling themselves with liquored-up eggnog, but they're not exactly decking the halls with crumpled-up greenbacks, either. But they're keeping their fingers crossed. » 12/24/14 2:00pm 12/24/14 2:00pm

Screw Black Friday, 'Panic Saturday' Is More Like It 

America has turned Black Friday (and wringing its hands about Black Friday) into a national sport. But it seems the U.K. has one-upped us, with the invention of "Panic Saturday." Now that's my kind of retail phenomenon. EVERYBODY FREAK OUT AND START STOCKPILING FROZEN DOLLS, THIS IS NOT A DRILL, SIREN JINGLE ALL THE… » 12/22/14 10:50am 12/22/14 10:50am

Christmas Must Be Stopped. Let's Declare War on Christmas.

For years, Fox News has bleated about the "War on Christmas," suggesting the phrase "Happy Holidays" and some complaints about nativity scenes on public property amount to an all-out assault on a sacred tradition. Meanwhile, Christmas has overflowed its traditional borders, annexed Thanksgiving and begun laying siege… » 11/03/14 3:50pm 11/03/14 3:50pm

Target Frantically Debuts Free Shipping to Woo Holiday Shoppers

The holiday retail wars are upon us! Macy's kicked off the melee by announcing they'd open at 6 pm on Thanksgiving; now Target says free shipping will be available for every damn thing on their website until December 20. Go right ahead and order that sack of Dove chocolates for your honeybun's stocking. » 10/22/14 12:50pm 10/22/14 12:50pm

We Can Thank These J. Crew Models for a Relatively Safe Christmas

If you're lucky, yesterday (whether you celebrate Christmas or not) was a safe day full of good tidings and great joy. Assuming that it was, I think it's time we take a moment to thank the selfless people who sacrificed their own holidays so that ours could be more comfortable. No, not the police! Not the people who… » 12/26/13 5:15pm 12/26/13 5:15pm

The 10 Best Christmas Songs, Ranked

The season of the Christmas song has nearly come to a close, meaning we only have one more day to hum along to the holiday classics before it stops being "on trend" and starts being insufferable. I don't know about you, but personally, I would like to spend this last bit of time being as efficient as possible and this… » 12/24/13 6:00pm 12/24/13 6:00pm

Kevin Bacon's 12 Degrees Of Christmas: A Veritable Cavalcade of Stars

In this video, a smattering of random celebs sing "The Twelve Days of Christmas." You know, lords a leaping, maids a milking and all that. » 12/24/13 11:30am 12/24/13 11:30am

Here's What It Feels Like to Be a Fat Person on a Plane.

On a crack-of-dawn flight from New York City to Seattle recently, I had my first ever, um, altercation with a seat mate. I'd almost missed the plane—I was that person staggering on board just before the doors closed—and I'm sure he thought he was going to have the row all to himself. I flashed him an apologetic smile… » 12/24/13 11:00am 12/24/13 11:00am

Celebrating the Holidays Means Partying in the Street Drunk in Britain

Have you heard of Mad Friday? It's like the British version of a frat party run amok, except the people celebrating aren't all in college and the partying takes place in bars and on streets the Friday before Christmas. There's still plenty of alcohol, violence and incessant PDA though. » 12/23/13 7:20pm 12/23/13 7:20pm

Chatroulette Singing All I Want for Christmas Is You Is the Best Thing

Steve Kardynal, the lovable breakout star of Chatroulette, is back with another one of his adorable sing-alongs, this time looping internet users into an unexpected music video for Mariah Carey's classic hit "All I Want for Christmas Is You." If this doesn't get you into the holiday spirit, well, prepare to be… » 12/23/13 6:15pm 12/23/13 6:15pm

Colbert, Cyndi Lauper and Alan Cumming Adorably Sang Carols Last Night

'Tis the season for Stephen Colbert to sing Christmas carols on his show all week! (The best season of all!) Last night, Alan Cumming and Cyndi Lauper stopped by to help Stephen with his sign-off by joining together for a beautiful and adorably sloppy version of "Let It Snow." » 12/18/13 5:00pm 12/18/13 5:00pm

Reader Gift Guide: Cool, Smartypants Gifts for Little Girls

With Hannukkah upon us and Christmas right around the corner, we received a plea from a reader to tackle gifts for girls. » 12/05/13 3:45pm 12/05/13 3:45pm

Your Thanksgiving Horror Stories

Well, it's that time of year again. The upside is that you (hopefully) get a gloriously long weekend. So much time off. The downside? Nightmarish travel ordeals, awful relatives, failed recipes and totally terrible TV. » 11/27/13 5:00pm 11/27/13 5:00pm

Sorry, Everybody: Your Thanksgiving Travels Are Going to Suck

Bad news for those of you traveling over the long weekend. It looks like Mother Nature — THAT BEAUTIFUL BITCH — will be pulling out all of the stops to keep you from your intended destination. For so it is written: When the holidays of Hanukkah and Thanksgiving converge in the year of 2013, there will be snow, there… » 11/27/13 11:00am 11/27/13 11:00am

Macy's, Lord & Taylor to Open on Thanksgiving, Tryptophan be Damned

Thanksgiving is for being with family, stuffing yourself full of turkey and cranberries, watching cartoon characters float in a parade, and maybe enjoying the broadcast of violent sports. But this year, you'll be able to start your Christmas shopping even earlier: Some stores will be open on the holiday. » 10/15/13 12:40pm 10/15/13 12:40pm

The Worst Christmas Ever

Christmas Eve is here! 'Tis the season for burned cookies, missing packages, fighting families and broken-hearted breakups. Have you ever had The Worst Christmas Ever? Maybe it wasn't exactly a cruel Christmas, but a horrible Hanukkah or a catastrophic Kwanzaa? » 12/24/12 4:00pm 12/24/12 4:00pm

For Your Viewing Pleasure/Discomfort: Here's Darren Criss as Shirtless…

Okay, I am going to shoot straight with you right now because I trust you and know that you of all people won't betray that trust. Here goes: I am one of the 7 adults in the United States who still tunes into Glee every week and I'm not even going to pull that "it's a guilty pleasure" excuse. No, I watch it because,… » 12/18/12 5:40pm 12/18/12 5:40pm

What the Hell Is Black Friday For?

Long, long ago, in a time known as the '80s, Black Friday sales started on a day called "Friday," at an actual hour that an actual store might actually have been open—say, 8 or 9 or 10 am. Over the years, the kick-off hours have been slowly rolling back—to 3 am, 4 am, midnight. And this year, stores such as Target,… » 11/19/12 6:00pm 11/19/12 6:00pm

The Worst Christmas Duet Ever

Today on The View, Mario Cantone and Joey McIntyre sang a straight man/gay man version of "Baby It's Cold Outside," except they changed the words to "Buddy, it's cold outside" and it was the worst thing ever. NKOTBWTFBBQ. » 12/23/11 4:30pm 12/23/11 4:30pm

What The Fuck Is Boxing Day?

It has nothing to do with punching those who have grinched you this year, and it's not a shitty episodic romcom sequel to "Valentine's Day," starring a patchwork of red carpet fixtures of debatable talent. So what is it? » 12/26/10 11:30am 12/26/10 11:30am