Screw Black Friday, 'Panic Saturday' Is More Like It 

America has turned Black Friday (and wringing its hands about Black Friday) into a national sport. But it seems the U.K. has one-upped us, with the invention of "Panic Saturday." Now that's my kind of retail phenomenon. EVERYBODY FREAK OUT AND START STOCKPILING FROZEN DOLLS, THIS IS NOT A DRILL, SIREN JINGLE ALL THE… »12/22/14 10:50am12/22/14 10:50am

Christmas Must Be Stopped. Let's Declare War on Christmas.

For years, Fox News has bleated about the "War on Christmas," suggesting the phrase "Happy Holidays" and some complaints about nativity scenes on public property amount to an all-out assault on a sacred tradition. Meanwhile, Christmas has overflowed its traditional borders, annexed Thanksgiving and begun laying siege… »11/03/14 3:50pm11/03/14 3:50pm

Target Frantically Debuts Free Shipping to Woo Holiday Shoppers

The holiday retail wars are upon us! Macy's kicked off the melee by announcing they'd open at 6 pm on Thanksgiving; now Target says free shipping will be available for every damn thing on their website until December 20. Go right ahead and order that sack of Dove chocolates for your honeybun's stocking. »10/22/14 12:50pm10/22/14 12:50pm

We Can Thank These J. Crew Models for a Relatively Safe Christmas

If you're lucky, yesterday (whether you celebrate Christmas or not) was a safe day full of good tidings and great joy. Assuming that it was, I think it's time we take a moment to thank the selfless people who sacrificed their own holidays so that ours could be more comfortable. No, not the police! Not the people who… »12/26/13 5:15pm12/26/13 5:15pm

Here's What It Feels Like to Be a Fat Person on a Plane.

On a crack-of-dawn flight from New York City to Seattle recently, I had my first ever, um, altercation with a seat mate. I'd almost missed the plane—I was that person staggering on board just before the doors closed—and I'm sure he thought he was going to have the row all to himself. I flashed him an apologetic smile… »12/24/13 11:00am12/24/13 11:00am

Chatroulette Singing All I Want for Christmas Is You Is the Best Thing

Steve Kardynal, the lovable breakout star of Chatroulette, is back with another one of his adorable sing-alongs, this time looping internet users into an unexpected music video for Mariah Carey's classic hit "All I Want for Christmas Is You." If this doesn't get you into the holiday spirit, well, prepare to be… »12/23/13 6:15pm12/23/13 6:15pm

Sorry, Everybody: Your Thanksgiving Travels Are Going to Suck

Bad news for those of you traveling over the long weekend. It looks like Mother Nature — THAT BEAUTIFUL BITCH — will be pulling out all of the stops to keep you from your intended destination. For so it is written: When the holidays of Hanukkah and Thanksgiving converge in the year of 2013, there will be snow, there… »11/27/13 11:00am11/27/13 11:00am

Macy's, Lord & Taylor to Open on Thanksgiving, Tryptophan be Damned

Thanksgiving is for being with family, stuffing yourself full of turkey and cranberries, watching cartoon characters float in a parade, and maybe enjoying the broadcast of violent sports. But this year, you'll be able to start your Christmas shopping even earlier: Some stores will be open on the holiday. »10/15/13 12:40pm10/15/13 12:40pm

For Your Viewing Pleasure/Discomfort: Here's Darren Criss as Shirtless Santa Claus

Okay, I am going to shoot straight with you right now because I trust you and know that you of all people won't betray that trust. Here goes: I am one of the 7 adults in the United States who still tunes into Glee every week and I'm not even going to pull that "it's a guilty pleasure" excuse. No, I watch it because,… »12/18/12 5:40pm12/18/12 5:40pm