Library Sponsors Romance Novel Vandalizing Event for Cool Teens

Attention, Cool Teens who are like already totally over Valentine's Day: The Toronto Public Library has planned an event just for you! The Anti-Valentine's Day Anti-Party, as originally planned, would give prematurely jaded pre-adults the opportunity to vandalize romance novels. Totally punk rock, right?! » 2/05/14 2:40pm 2/05/14 2:40pm

Adorable Kid Busts Out a Nonsense Solo During Christmas Pageant

This Christmas pageant seems to be going about as well as children's pageants can go when all of a sudden one kid — who mysteriously remains off-camera (in the shadows, as it were, like a super villain) — busts out an inarticulate solo, suddenly making the pageant awesome. Or at least worth the small amount of iPad… » 1/05/14 1:00pm 1/05/14 1:00pm

Teddy, The World's Greatest Talking Porcupine, Got A Visit From Santa

You can say whatever you want about the holidays—they're a corporate bastardization of tradition, they're a mess on your emotional/financial well being, they fuck up traffic—but I will continue to love our annual holidays for one solid reason. Holidays mean TIME FOR ANOTHER TEDDY THE PORCUPINE VIDEO! Yes! » 12/24/13 8:15pm 12/24/13 8:15pm

What to Do on Christmas When You Don't Celebrate It

Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year—unless you're like me and don't celebrate it. Then you're stuck with a world mostly shut down and seemingly nothing to do. Fortunately you have quite a few options, whether you're along or with friends, to make December 25th a fun day off regardless of your observances. » 12/24/13 4:18pm 12/24/13 4:18pm

Here's What It Feels Like to Be a Fat Person on a Plane.

On a crack-of-dawn flight from New York City to Seattle recently, I had my first ever, um, altercation with a seat mate. I'd almost missed the plane—I was that person staggering on board just before the doors closed—and I'm sure he thought he was going to have the row all to himself. I flashed him an apologetic smile… » 12/24/13 11:00am 12/24/13 11:00am

Chase Solves Data Breach by Setting Grinch Limits on Debit Purchases

There are a lot of different ways banks might deal with the recent Target database caper, but none of them are quite as Grinch-like as ravenous bank monster JPMorgan Chase's decision to cap debit card cash withdrawal limits at $100 a day and card purchases at $300 a day. » 12/22/13 1:00pm 12/22/13 1:00pm

Awkward Sex at Your Family’s House Is What the Holidays Are All About

Being a grown-ass adult and having hushed, fumbling sex in your childhood bedroom (or what's left of it after your parents turned it into an opium den with a sex swing and four different colors of lava lamp) beautifully encapsulates the holiday season, a time of year when a bunch of people with long histories of being … » 12/22/13 12:30pm 12/22/13 12:30pm

Crackling Yule Logs and Lil BUB Are the Keys to Holiday Relaxation

A lot of us don't have working fireplaces and even more of us (almost all of us, really) don't have a Lil BUB, so does that mean our holiday season is ruined? In the past, yes, but this year, Lil BUB has arranged something special to allow you to share in all the warmth that her company and an open fire can provide. » 12/19/13 2:30pm 12/19/13 2:30pm

Which Pop Diva Holiday Album Should You Listen to This Year?

Though everyone knows that Mariah Carey's "All I Want For Christmas Is You" is the only recent pop Christmas song worthy of being include to the list of classic Christmas songs, every year, female pop stars try to create the new Great American Pop Christmas Song to spam Forever 21 with. This year, a few more tried and a… » 12/17/13 11:30am 12/17/13 11:30am