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Jack Johnson (Remember Him?) Just Debuted a Line of Hippie Flip-Flops

Jack Johnson, whom you might remember from lazy summer days at the beach circa 2002, is still knocking around, rambling from sunny outdoor venue to sunny outdoor venue with a guitar slung over his back. And he wants you able to live the Jack Johnson lifestyle, as well. Hence the announcement of his own line of… »4/22/14 6:30pm4/22/14 6:30pm

State Rep 'Fixes' Homelessness by Smashing Homeless People's Stuff

Hawaii State Representative Tom Brower is plum fed up with homeless people, all homelessing around on the streets not having homes, right out there where good homeful people can see them. It's like, UGH, why don't they just go ho—er, um, nm. Fortunately for everyone (oh, except for the victims of the social travesty… »11/19/13 3:15pm11/19/13 3:15pm

America's First Ever Hindu Congresswoman Will Take the Oath of Office Over the Bhagavad Gita

Last night, Hawaii not only elected Japan-born Mazie Hirono to be the first ever Asian-American woman elected to the Senate, they also elected Democrat Tulsi Gabbard as the first ever practicing Hindu to the US House of Representatives. Hawaii has been declared a Fox News Disaster Zone. »11/07/12 6:20pm11/07/12 6:20pm

TSA Ruins Dying Woman's End-of-Life Trip to Hawaii, Is Officially The Worst

The Transportation Security Administration has surpassed "mothers-in-law" as the thing about which Americans most love to bitch. But unlike mothers-in-law, the TSA will never make you a hot meal, and they'll certainly never make sure you have clean towels and sheets when you come to visit because Lord knows the gals… »10/10/12 4:50pm10/10/12 4:50pm

Hawaii's Dolphins Can't Get Any Sleep Because of Tourists

Tourists in Hawaii really like to see dolphins, and that's fine because dolphins are magical (when they're not trying to bad-flipper isolated swimmers or murder innocent tiger sharks), but it's also creating a significant problem: insomniac dolphins aren't getting enough sleep because tourists keep wanting to stare… »8/29/12 10:00am8/29/12 10:00am

Senate Candidate Drowning in Campaign Money Buys Her Very Own TV Channel

Campaign ads are one of the worst parts of any election cycle, and the idea of having to watch them 24/7 sounds, frankly, like torture. That is why it seems very curious that Linda Lingle, a candidate for the U.S. Senate in Hawaii, has taken the unprecedented step of creating her own television channel to broadcast… »6/18/12 10:00am6/18/12 10:00am

Could These 4 Kickass Young Women Change the Face of Congress?

Washington DC's biggest export is bullshit, but not all news out of the Beltway is of or relating to said bullshit. In fact, sometimes, political news can be downright encouraging. Take, for example, the news that these four women — all 36 years old or younger — are running for Congress. Whether they can rattle cages… »5/30/12 1:15pm5/30/12 1:15pm

TSA Forces Woman to Use Her Breast Pump Before She Can Take It Through Security

In another shining moment in airport security history, a TSA agent at Kauai's Lihue Airport last week refused to let a woman bring her breast pump through security because the milk bottles were empty. Amy Strand, of Maui, was traveling with her 9-month old daughter and was carrying the electric pump. She was told she… »3/05/12 12:00pm3/05/12 12:00pm

Adorable Baby Shoves His Fingers Into Obama's Mouth


President Obama spent part of his Christmas visiting with troops who are stationed at a Marine Corps Base in Hawaii. At one point he posed for a photo with 8-month-old Cooper Wall Wagner and his parents, Capt. Greg Wagner and Meredith Wagner. While Obama and his parents were all smiles, cute little Cooper casually… »12/26/11 12:30pm12/26/11 12:30pm