Parents Upset Over Penis-Shaped Candy Prank
Families who attended a parade in Hattiesburg, Mississippi were outraged when they discovered candy in the shape of dicks had been thrown during the event.
Candy Corn Is Trash and Hershey's Candy Corn Bars Are an Abomination Against God
Tis the season, the only season that matters, the season that Halloween candy finally starts appearing on the shelves. Unfortunately, that also means candy corn has made its foul return, a crumbling and earwax-esque concoction that, like your racist grandparent, you only give a pass because it’s been around for so…
Kirk Cameron Will Have You Know Halloween Is a Christian Holiday
Kirk Cameron recently popped by my favorite Internet publication, the Christian Post (it's like HuffPo mated with a church newsletter!), for a little chat about his upcoming motion picture release, Kirk Cameron's Saving Christmas. And he had a message for you believers: Halloween is totally OK to celebrate, because…
No One's Buying Halloween Candy Because It's Not Candy Weather
Global Warming is not just a thing that people like to deny and others like to remind us is killing us: it's also dampening candy sales, alleges the National Confectioners Associations. Man, that is not in the Halloween spirit.
How Dare Michelle Obama Care About Healthy Eating
It’s always been a little disturbing to me how a lot of conservatives seem to hate President Obama’s entire family sort of like a 5-year-old He-Man fan hates Skeletor. I don’t like him, therefore everything he does is bad and so I am OPPOSITE HIM because I AM GOOD. That sort of thing. And so while it’s a little…
