Dear John Waters, I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but figured that if you didn't hear it from me, someone else would tell you the tragedy that has befallen your beloved civil rights/self acceptance/ dancing musical masterpiece Hairspray. Are you sitting down? Good.

A pregnant woman in South Carolina was trying to lift a few things from a beauty supply store when one of the store's employees caught her red-handed. Rather than admit she was wrong and return the goods, Alexis Sade Hayes went on the attack. She hit the employee in the head with a can of hairspray she'd been…

[London, November 3. Image via Getty]

Mirela Gradinaru, 37, would not tell doctors how the hairspray got into her rectum, which, apparently had a lot of hold (no word on shine, though). Surgery was required to remove the object. [The Sun]

Sometimes you can't even get to the heart of the editorial content of a magazine because there are so many ads. And while a few ads are innocuous, pretty or straightforward, many are just bad. Hence, Badvertising! After the jump, some of the worst advertisements from recent issues of Elle, Allure and Glamour.

['Hairspray' premiere, Los Angeles; July 10. Image via Bauer-Griffin]