Sunday Sign-Off: Celebrate Your Well-Intentioned Grandparents

Today is National Grandparents Day, and has been since 1978. If your grandparents are still alive (and if they're not, you know, dicks to you), maybe call them and ask for a card that contains a check for $17, and be thankful, because at least your grandparents didn't hire weird Europeans to fuck with your hair (I… » 9/08/13 6:30pm 9/08/13 6:30pm

Google Has Replaced Your Grandparents' Wisdom

The newest thing to become obsolete in this fast moving world of technology is none other than your sweet, little old grandparents. According to a UK study, less than one in four grandparents claim to have been asked advice on domestic chores such as learning to cook family recipes, sewing on a buttons or tying ties.… » 3/01/13 11:15am 3/01/13 11:15am

Elderly Chinese Parents Can Now Take their Adult Children to Court for…

Today, China's national legislature passed a new law that, once enacted, will require citizens to visit their elderly parents "often," or go to court. This law is so, so ripe for 1980's style stand up jokes about mothers in law, or a very special episode of Married... With Chidren where someone gets bumped on the head… » 12/28/12 7:10pm 12/28/12 7:10pm

GDawg, Miami and Salsa: Grandmas These Days Don't Want to Be Called…

During my pregnancy I was aware that my mother and her contemporaries were colluding over what they wanted my baby to call her. Apparently, it's a thing now for grandparents to choose their own names that set them apart from the typical and totally normal "Grandma" and "Grandpa," treating the act as though it were a… » 7/17/12 1:00pm 7/17/12 1:00pm

How Do You Protect Your Daughter from Your Mother's Bullshit?

The other day, while my mom was holding my 7-month-old little girl, she pinched her chubby thighs and, in a cutesy voice, said, "You have legs just like Hillary Clinton. We're gonna have to put you in pantsuits!" They both laughed. Suddenly, the perspective in my living room became distorted, like in a Hitchcock zoom,… » 5/11/12 1:10pm 5/11/12 1:10pm

Anthonys "Devastated"; DNA Results Within The Week

The grandparents of Caylee Anthony say they were "devastated" upon learning that a toddler's corpse was found last week, but will not start grieving until the body is identified. George and Cindy Anthony also announced through their lawyer that they continue to stand by their daughter Casey, who is accused of killing… » 12/16/08 12:30pm 12/16/08 12:30pm