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New York, 3:10 AM
Fri Nov 27
2 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #gorillas more →

    Maine Will Vote On Gay Marriage • Miss Universe Pageant Adds "Condom Olympics"

    But... They're Made With Real Fruit!

    Happy Hump Rump Day!

    "Jealous" Females Compete For Sex

    Yoga Granny Strikes A Pose • Michelle: Bo Is Doggone "Crazy"

    Zoo Gorillas Will Totally Cut You

    Woman Faints When Eating Sandwiches • Zoo Sorry About Gorilla Farts

    Our Problems With Milk Really Suck

    Martha Stewart & Jane Goodall's Goofy Gorilla Greetings Sound Like Crazy Sex
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of notwhoyouthoughtiwas notwhoyouthoughtiwas
    09/03/09

    In reply to Maine Will Vote On Gay Marriage • Miss Universe Pageant Adds "Condom Olympics"
    Whenever my mother hears about women with long fingernails, she only has one question. When they go to the bathroom, how do they wipe?
     Reply
    LaComtesse promoted this comment notwhoyouthoughtiwas was starred notwhoyouthoughtiwas was unstarred
    Image of LaComtesse LaComtesse
    09/03/09

    @notwhoyouthoughtiwas: Better question--do they use tampons?
     Reply
    LaComtesse was starred LaComtesse was unstarred
    Image of dj_chick dj_chick
    09/03/09

    In reply to Maine Will Vote On Gay Marriage • Miss Universe Pageant Adds "Condom Olympics"
    Am I the only one who really and truly wants a break from bickering about ridiculous things like health care and gay marriage? And I say ridiculous because it really doesn't matter what anyone says, I don't understand why someone would be against either. Why, why, why? I feel like I'm at wits end as far as arguing/having a conversation about it. I'm ready to say to people who are anti-health care reform, "You're selfish. End of story." And to people who are anti-gay marriage, "Get over yourself." Seriously, I'm past the point of eloquence. :(
     Reply
    Ailatan promoted this comment dj_chick was starred dj_chick was unstarred
    Image of Laulau Laulau
    09/03/09

    @dj_chick: I just cut people out of my life who are against either. No joke. This, unfortunately, is not making any changes in policy.
     Reply
    Laulau was starred Laulau was unstarred
    Image of dj_chick dj_chick
    09/03/09

    @Laulau: I'm sure it cuts down on stress though! I've tried to do the same... but you can only avoid your siblings so much. :)

    I'm just mentally exhausted from it. A week of vacation from work AND the internet might be just the thing I need. The weekend can't get here soon enough!
     Reply
    dj_chick was starred dj_chick was unstarred
    Image of Crackers In Bed Crackers In Bed
    09/03/09

    In reply to Maine Will Vote On Gay Marriage • Miss Universe Pageant Adds "Condom Olympics"
    ok, so the Australian study regarding HPV and breast cancer really upsets me. the past 3 generations of woman on my mother's side have had breast cancer, and she just tested positive for the "breast cancer gene" BRAC. which means I am more than likely to test positive. AND i've had HPV since college. guess i'll go ahead and plan for a masectomy. not sure who I direct this to but, MOTHERFUCKERS!
     Reply
    Edited by Crackers In Bed at 09/03/09 5:58 PM Crackers In Bed was starred Crackers In Bed was unstarred
    Image of Dodgergirl Dodgergirl
    09/03/09

    In reply to Maine Will Vote On Gay Marriage • Miss Universe Pageant Adds "Condom Olympics"
    I can barely keep my nails long enough to open things wrapped in plastic... they always get brittle at some point and/or I get frustrated with them and chop them all off. I cannot imagine 30 years and nearly 3 feet.
     Reply
    Dodgergirl was starred Dodgergirl was unstarred
    Image of LaComtesse LaComtesse
    09/03/09

    In reply to Maine Will Vote On Gay Marriage • Miss Universe Pageant Adds "Condom Olympics"
    That’s it. *I* want to start gathering signatures to put to a vote something that in no way affects me but could make other people miserable.

    Who has ideas? What should we ruin for someone? What group should we target? The possibilities are endless…
     Reply
    LaComtesse was starred LaComtesse was unstarred
    Image of Zombie Ms. Skittles Zombie Ms. Skittles
    09/03/09

    @LaComtesse: I want to ban all live broadcasts of baseball games!
     Reply
    Edited by Zombie Ms. Skittles at 09/03/09 5:49 PM Zombie Ms. Skittles was starred Zombie Ms. Skittles was unstarred
    Image of Zombie Ms. Skittles Zombie Ms. Skittles
    09/03/09

    @LaComtesse: I want to ban all live broadcasts of baseball games!
     Reply
    Zombie Ms. Skittles was starred Zombie Ms. Skittles was unstarred
    Image of LaComtesse LaComtesse
    09/03/09

    @Zombie Ms. Skittles: I was thinking maybe the eating of lobster. I do not care for lobster, so why should anyone eat it?
     Reply
    LaComtesse was starred LaComtesse was unstarred
    Image of Dodgergirl Dodgergirl
    09/03/09

    @Zombie Ms. Skittles: HOW COULD YOU!
     Reply
    Dodgergirl was starred Dodgergirl was unstarred
    Image of BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit) BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit)
    09/03/09

    @LaComtesse: My petition is called "Send Carrie Prejean Somewhere Else. And also, Fox and Friends."
     Reply
    BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit) was starred BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit) was unstarred
    Image of Maritsa Maritsa
    09/03/09

    @LaComtesse: I don't like purple underpants, so no one should be able to wear them. I'm sorry, that's just what my religion teaches me, and I have no agency or ability to questions its teachings.
     Reply
    Maritsa was starred Maritsa was unstarred
    Image of Zombie Ms. Skittles Zombie Ms. Skittles
    09/03/09

    @Dodgergirl: Well I am sorry but if it is that important to you then just shell out the money to see the games yourself! You're taking away the meaning for those who DID pay to go see the game as it happens! Your TV is stealing the meaning from millions of Americans. And you call yourself a Dodgers' fan...
     Reply
    Zombie Ms. Skittles was starred Zombie Ms. Skittles was unstarred
    Image of LaComtesse LaComtesse
    09/03/09

    @Maritsa: It's Adam and EVE not Adam and PURPLE UNDERWEAR! And John the Baptist wore animal fur underwear. And King David didn't even WEAR underwear as he pranced drunkenly through the streets of Jerusalem before the Ark of the Covenant. So, clearly, the Bible shows us that purple underwear is NOT okay by God.
     Reply
    LaComtesse was starred LaComtesse was unstarred
    Image of Dodgergirl Dodgergirl
    09/03/09

    @LaComtesse: I don't like mustard. When people around me eat mustard, I am FORCED to taste mustard, too, and it ruins the sanctity of my hot dog. BAN MUSTARD!
     Reply
    Dodgergirl was starred Dodgergirl was unstarred
    Image of LaComtesse LaComtesse
    09/03/09

    @Zombie Ms. Skittles: An excellent point. Televised games destroy the sanctity of baseball. Baseball is between a man and his overpriced Yankees ticket.

    @Dodgergirl: Good point. Besides, everyone knows yellow is the Devil's color.
     Reply
    LaComtesse was starred LaComtesse was unstarred
    Image of missteenwordpower missteenwordpower
    09/03/09

    @LaComtesse: I think mushrooms are pretty unacceptable. Let's not only ban them, but pretend they don't exist.
     Reply
    LaComtesse promoted this comment missteenwordpower was starred missteenwordpower was unstarred
    Image of LaComtesse LaComtesse
    09/03/09

    @missteenwordpower: They could be Godly celery stalks if they prayed hard enough...
     Reply
    LaComtesse was starred LaComtesse was unstarred
    Image of Maritsa Maritsa
    09/03/09

    @LaComtesse: When other people wear purple underwear it makes MY underwear less important!
     Reply
    Maritsa was starred Maritsa was unstarred
    Image of Maritsa Maritsa
    09/03/09

    @missteenwordpower: Let's consign them to the fiery pits of hell.
     Reply
    Maritsa was starred Maritsa was unstarred
    Image of CurtCole CurtCole
    09/03/09

    @BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit): If that includes Megan Fox, then I am in!
     Reply
    CurtCole was starred CurtCole was unstarred
    Image of wtfox?! wtfox?!
    09/03/09

    @CurtCole: I am sensing a lot of fox hate here. NOT ALL FOXES ARE LIKE THEM!!

    :(
     Reply
    wtfox?! was starred wtfox?! was unstarred
    Image of LaComtesse LaComtesse
    09/03/09

    @BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit): see, I don't know if that's the kind of legislation that I'm talking about... that law would just make everyone's lives better, even the aforementioned Fox and Friends/Prejean/Megan Fox, etc. Their lives would be improved if they just... went away... somewhere.
     Reply
    LaComtesse was starred LaComtesse was unstarred
    Image of Zombie Ms. Skittles Zombie Ms. Skittles
    09/03/09

    In reply to Maine Will Vote On Gay Marriage • Miss Universe Pageant Adds "Condom Olympics"
    Blowing up a condom until it bursts sounds like a really good way to pass out.
     Reply
    Zombie Ms. Skittles was starred Zombie Ms. Skittles was unstarred
    Image of SpyMagician SpyMagician
    08/29/09

    In reply to But... They're Made With Real Fruit!
    This is hilarious! Also, when they have those Hindu fests in honor of monkeys. You know the ones where they give them offerings of food? Those cheeky little monkeys love eating the junk food more than anything.

    So don't blame the cop in this case. Primates love crappy food as much as us humans.
     Reply
    SpyMagician was starred SpyMagician was unstarred
    Image of TexasCrude TexasCrude
    08/28/09

    In reply to But... They're Made With Real Fruit!
    Primates love human snacks though.

    On a zoo trip when I was young, a rhesus monkey, I think, once put his hands through his chain fence, yanked my shirt to bring me over to him and promptly stole my bucket of popcorn and ate it in my face, throwing some at me and other people around me.

    Fucking rhesus.
     Reply
    Edited by TexasCrude at 08/28/09 7:16 PM TexasCrude was starred TexasCrude was unstarred
    Image of Mafalda para Presidente Mafalda para Presidente
    08/28/09

    @TexasCrude: Is that why you want to eat one?
     Reply
    Mafalda para Presidente was starred Mafalda para Presidente was unstarred
    Image of Lizard in the Wires - synthesizer signals suspense! Lizard in the Wires - synthesizer signals suspense!
    08/28/09

    In reply to But... They're Made With Real Fruit!
    I used to live on the other side of Como Lake from the zoo. In ye olden days (early 90's) our parents used to hold us up and the giraffees would lick you and you could feed them.

    Fun fact, It's one of the last free zoos in the country.

    Not so fun fact, one of the polar bears has PTSD from watching idiot kids kill the other bear he lived with. They lured him to the side of the enclosure with meat and then threw rocks on him until he died. And since then the other polar bear just has a routine he does over and over and over it's really sad. They're habitat now and they're not entirely sure how he's gonna take it. Next on Sick, Sad, World indeed.
     Reply
    now it's just Aesop's Heatstroke. promoted this comment Edited by Lizard in the Wires - synthesizer signals suspense! at 08/28/09 6:47 PM Lizard in the Wires - synthesizer signals suspense! was starred Lizard in the Wires - synthesizer signals suspense! was unstarred
    Image of Aesop's Foibles. YES. Aesop's Foibles. YES.
    08/28/09

    @Lizard in the Wires is on Rails: Jesus Christ. People never cease to horrify me. Also I hope that poor lonely bear is alright. How incredibly awful.
     Reply
    Edited by Aesop's Foibles. YES. at 08/28/09 6:52 PM Aesop's Foibles. YES. was starred Aesop's Foibles. YES. was unstarred
    Image of BabyJane BabyJane
    08/28/09

    In reply to But... They're Made With Real Fruit!
    In addition to hating pie, I hate pop-tarts. I think I may be alone on this.
     Reply
    BabyJane was starred BabyJane was unstarred
    Image of divine booty divine booty
    08/28/09

    @BabyJane: nope, not alone.
     Reply
    BabyJane promoted this comment divine booty was starred divine booty was unstarred
    Image of Penny Penny
    08/28/09

    @BabyJane: I liked them when I was younger but I think it was just my rebelling against never getting cool food as a kid.

    Now, I don't like them. I also don't like pie.....UNLESS it's that chocolate mousse pie from Baker's Square. That stuff is gooood.
     Reply
    Penny was starred Penny was unstarred
    Image of Lizard in the Wires - synthesizer signals suspense! Lizard in the Wires - synthesizer signals suspense!
    08/28/09

    @Penny: Have to tried the BS peanut butter cup pie?! It's my favorite.
     Reply
    BabyJane promoted this comment Lizard in the Wires - synthesizer signals suspense! was starred Lizard in the Wires - synthesizer signals suspense! was unstarred
    Image of BabyJane BabyJane
    08/28/09

    @Penny: That sounds like a pie I might actually like.
     Reply
    BabyJane was starred BabyJane was unstarred
    Image of NellMood NellMood
    08/28/09

    @BabyJane: No, pop-tarts are gross. However, I like pie, so I can't join your team on that one.
     Reply
    NellMood was starred NellMood was unstarred
    Image of the_poptart the_poptart
    08/28/09

    @NellMood: HOW. DARE. YOU!!!!!

    ALL OF YOU!!!

    ::cries in the corner::
     Reply
    BabyJane promoted this comment Edited by the_poptart at 08/28/09 7:00 PM the_poptart was starred the_poptart was unstarred
    Image of BabyJane BabyJane
    08/28/09

    @the_poptart: Sorry, I'm sure your...um... delicious.
     Reply
    BabyJane was starred BabyJane was unstarred
    Image of TexasCrude TexasCrude
    08/28/09

    @BabyJane: WE CANNOT BE FRIENDS.
     Reply
    TexasCrude was starred TexasCrude was unstarred
    Image of NellMood NellMood
    08/28/09

    @the_poptart: Um, Pop Tart, I didn't know you were here. How embarrassing. I was talking about a different Pop Tart.
     Reply
    NellMood was starred NellMood was unstarred
    Image of BabyJane BabyJane
    08/28/09

    @TexasCrude: Take it back TC, we can still be friends! My not liking pop-tarts just means there's more for you.
     Reply
    BabyJane was starred BabyJane was unstarred
    Image of littlemissvan littlemissvan
    08/28/09

    @BabyJane: They gross me out. But I do love pie.
     Reply
    BabyJane promoted this comment littlemissvan was starred littlemissvan was unstarred
    Image of TexasCrude TexasCrude
    08/28/09

    @BabyJane: Yay yay! I don't want the nasty cinammon ones, though.
     Reply
    TexasCrude was starred TexasCrude was unstarred
    Image of girlarchaeologist girlarchaeologist
    08/28/09

    @BabyJane:

    While I must disagree with you on pie, I will agree that Pop-Tarts are gross. They are Satans rectangles.
     Reply
    BabyJane promoted this comment girlarchaeologist was starred girlarchaeologist was unstarred
    Image of TexasCrude TexasCrude
    08/29/09

    @girlarchaeologist: Satan resents that, young lady. As do I!
     Reply
    TexasCrude was starred TexasCrude was unstarred
    Image of la.donna.pietra la.donna.pietra
    08/28/09

    In reply to But... They're Made With Real Fruit!
    Tangential but related story: When I was about four, my favorite thing in the entire world was to go to the Fresno Zoo with my mom and feed peanuts to the elephants. The zoo vendors sold big bags of peanuts in the shell. One of my earliest, clearest memories is hearing my mom's voice saying, "Do you want to give it one?" and a big trunk with those two little fingery things on the end coming down to take the peanut out of my hand. Sheer bliss for a four-year-old.

    All this was ruined when my mom hired a babysitter for the afternoon. The babysitter asked if there was anything I liked to do, and my mom said, "Oh! You could take her to the zoo, and feed the elephants peanuts!" The babysitter said, "Huh. Don't they have a sign up saying 'DON'T FEED ELEPHANTS'?"

    My mom was quite certain that they didn't--and after all, they sold big bags of peanuts right there!--but she checked the next time we went. Turned out the elephants had figured out that if they planted their butts right in front of the sign, they'd get peanuts. My mom, trying to set a good example for yours truly, did not feed any more peanuts to the elephants.

    I was terribly disappointed.
     Reply
    la.donna.pietra was starred la.donna.pietra was unstarred
    Image of applejuice applejuice
    08/28/09

    @la.donna.pietra: Elephants are big 'ol smartie pants! You gotta love the ingenuity.
     Reply
    applejuice was starred applejuice was unstarred
    Image of NewsBunny NewsBunny
    08/28/09

    In reply to But... They're Made With Real Fruit!
    I wish a big-ass who's yer daddy silverback had reached through and whupped his ass.

    I love gorillas. I spent two hours enjoying the Congo Gorilla Forest at the Bronx Zoo on my last birthday. And then I got a temporary gorilla tattoo!

    I'm 35!
     Reply
    NewsBunny was starred NewsBunny was unstarred
    Image of Penny Penny
    08/28/09

    In reply to But... They're Made With Real Fruit!
    PSA

    That very flavor of PT shown above burned the shit out of my finger when I was in Mexico in high school. Watch yourself around that molten frosting. Hurt like a bitch.
     Reply
    Penny was starred Penny was unstarred
    Image of sassyredhead sassyredhead
    08/28/09

    @Penny: I believe it's strawberry????
     Reply
    sassyredhead was starred sassyredhead was unstarred
    Image of Aesop's Foibles. YES. Aesop's Foibles. YES.
    08/28/09

    In reply to But... They're Made With Real Fruit!
    Gordy wanted them the most. I could tell when I snuck up on him and swiped them from his leathery hands. You shoulda seen the look on his face!

    What. PopTarts are goooood.
     Reply
    Aesop's Foibles. YES. was starred Aesop's Foibles. YES. was unstarred
    Image of bluebears bluebears
    08/28/09

    In reply to But... They're Made With Real Fruit!
    Whelp. now I want a pop-tart.
     Reply
    bluebears was starred bluebears was unstarred
    Image of sassyredhead sassyredhead
    08/28/09

    @bluebears: Smeared with real butter. That's how I like 'em.
     Reply
    sassyredhead was starred sassyredhead was unstarred
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