God Bless Blake Lively And Her Dumb Lifestyle Blog

The internet can be a mean, slap-fighty place of quibbles and pedants and outrage and backlash. But every so often, something happens that is so roundly mocked by the blogosphere that it unites all voices in a chorus of rueful snickers for one blissful moment of bitchy harmony. The launch of Blake Lively's silly… » 7/23/14 11:00am Today 11:00am

Gwyneth Paltrow Believes that Water Has Consciousness and Energy

Yay!!! GoopTalk™! Brand new GoopTalk™! Nothing gets me through a dreary Wednesday afternoon grind like Our Lady of Goop talkin' about stuff. This week on the mind of Goop: Water has feelings and if it gets grumpy it turns to poison! (Goop. Quick Q. Are you sure you aren't thinking of snakes?) » 6/04/14 7:15pm 6/04/14 7:15pm

Things I Learned About Rich People From the Goop Pop-Up Shop

This week, Gwyneth Paltrow, but more likely the people who work for her, launched a six-day Goop pop-up in Los Angeles in the tony 'hood of Brentwood. It was all the things you'd expect exactly at the correct place in the universe where you would most expect it. I asked a friend to meet me and drove 5.7 miles to check… » 5/06/14 4:15pm 5/06/14 4:15pm

Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop Is Bleeding Money and $1.2 Million in Debt

How does Goop, the weekly lifestyle email/newsletter and brainchild of actress Gwyneth Paltrow, support itself? That question has been plaguing those who wanted the secret of how Paltrow has been able to spread her gospel to the people. Well, newly released documents indicate that Goop has had some very unprofitable… » 4/21/14 11:20am 4/21/14 11:20am

​The Golden Age of Goop Conspiracy Theories Is Upon Us

Did you know that Gwyneth Paltrow is actually the one personally feeding the gossip machine rumors of Chris Martin's infidelity? Or that Paltrow and an intimate group of lifestyle elite are actually plotting the downfall of all media publications? Or that High Priestess Gwyneth Paltrow's ascension into Consciously… » 4/09/14 4:00pm 4/09/14 4:00pm

Secret-Sharing App Claims Gwyneth Paltrow Is Cheating with Lawyer

In October, when Gwyneth Paltrow threw a temper tantrum over a then-upcoming Vanity Fair profile, gossip was that the actress and aspirational-lifestyle sage was upset about rumors of marital infidelity. At the time, Page Six speculated that the actress was trying to hide a purported affair with Elle MacPherson's… » 2/18/14 2:54pm 2/18/14 2:54pm

Vanity Fair Is About to Drop a Major GOOP Bomb on Us

Vanity Fair and Gwyneth Paltrow are straight beefing, y'all. Or, to make the sentence more GOOP friendly, we might say that Vanity Fair and Gwyneth Paltrow are straight gluten-free beef substituting, but the point is that they are FIGHTING and if things get anymore heated, a rich person might be at risk of having… » 10/16/13 2:40pm 10/16/13 2:40pm

Gwyneth Paltrow Made a Trailer for a Party She Threw

It's not really weird that Gwyneth Paltrow threw an "English garden party" in the Hamptons where a bunch of her super rich friends hung out and played with children and watched Blythe Danner do the "Gangnam Style" dance while a four-piece bluegrass band plays on. But it's kind of weird that Cameron Diaz got an invite. » 9/13/13 5:40pm 9/13/13 5:40pm

This $2000 Groupon Buys You Access to Private Goop Crap With Gwyneth

If you filed on time, you should have gotten your tax return by now, and what better way to spend it than on an all-inclusive trip to New York City to spend time with your favorite domestic goddess, she of the is-it-shaved-is-it-au-naturel ladybush Gwyneth Paltrow? Groupon: making your big goop dreams happen. » 5/14/13 7:00pm 5/14/13 7:00pm

Why, Yes, Gwyneth Paltrow Should Definitely Open Her Own Restaurant

Gwyneth Paltrow is planning on opening up her own restaurant. Or at least that's what people are reporting even though it sounds like she just responded to someone's question of what kind of restaurant she would open if — hypothetically — that's something that were to happen. "I would make a Californian pop-up… » 5/13/13 4:45pm 5/13/13 4:45pm

Gwyneth Paltrow Clowns on Her Own Botox: 'I Looked Like Joan Rivers!'

Oh, Goopy. Ever seeking new dark sorcery with which to defy the wrinkle gods, Gwyneth Paltrow admits that she tried Botox once but did not like the results. Apparently it made her face look like a completely different woman's face! An old, ugly woman! Not like beautiful young Goopy at all! THE HORROR. » 4/11/13 8:00pm 4/11/13 8:00pm

Gwyneth Paltrow Releasing New Ingredient-Free Cookbook

The reviews are starting to trickle in for Goop's brand new gluten-, sugar-, dairy-, and meat-free cookbook, DRAWERS AND DRAWERS OF ZUCCHINI UGH GIMME ZUCCHINI OM GROM GROMPH It's All Good: Delicious, Easy Recipes That Will Make You Look Good and Feel Great, and they're not exactly glowing like Goopy's creamy… » 3/12/13 6:15pm 3/12/13 6:15pm

Gwyneth Paltrow Stays Young By Hanging Upside Down in a Cocoon

You know how sometimes I phrase headlines in an exaggerated, absurdist way to make them funnier? This isn't one of those times. Gwyneth Paltrow literally has a cocoon. Apparently it's a new style of yoga that's been proven to cure richladyii boredeosis, wherein participants twist themselves up in a silk hammock… » 2/22/13 8:00pm 2/22/13 8:00pm