Goop is hip and current and with it. They will soon be sending out lifestyle advice via Snapchat to weed-smoking teenagers everywhere.

Last week, I tried to imagine what sort of advice Goop, health bible for Gwyneth stans, might promote in its first-ever sex issue. It finally came out on Monday, and I think that I was impressively close.

Goop published an interview about “protecting yourself from wifi & cellphone toxicity” today with a nutritionist whose genre of “detoxification” diet advice has been called “tantamount to fraud” by an actual doctor.

First she wants us to dress like her, then she wants us to eat like her, now, Gwyneth Paltrow wants us to paint our faces with her goddamn organic makeup line. When will the madness end? Paltrow’s latest endeavor involves the newly-launched Phyto-Pigments collection under the Juice Beauty Brand.

When I walked into the GOOP MRKT on its opening day, I was shocked by how quiet it was. There was a single security guard standing in the store. To the left of the main entrance, the pop-up’s resident baristas spoke quietly amongst themselves. By the living room, three girls, white, probably in their twenties, with…

Goop, Gwyneth Paltrow’s lifestyle brand for close, personal friends of Gwyneth Paltrow, has been robbed! MRKT, the company’s pop-up shop in New York City, was burgled of “a very limited number of items” totaling more than $173,000.

Goopster Gwyneth Paltrow has written another cookbook which she has mockingly titled: It’s All Easy: Healthy, Delicious Weeknight Meals in Under 30 Minutes.

Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop is very serious: a second extensive profile in weeks on the company’s expansion is out in Fast Company, an ode to how hard the actress has worked and how far her lifestyle brand has come.

Hey! How ya doin’? Good? Great, me too! Well, aside from this one little issue. See, Goop is the exclusive seller of four $1,695 “hip-hop-inspired” Edie Parker clutches and I was thinking maybe you could help me figure out why.

Chavie Lieber, a writer for Racked, has taken a look at Goop, Gwyneth Paltrow’s sole job for 2015. Lieber has truly done more than taken a look—she’s captured Goop in its very essence, stringing words together until they wrap you in a warm cashmere blanket of Goopiness, until you can hear Gwyneth Paltrow softly…

Because that is what good parents do, according to Gwyneth.

Today marks the annual GOOP closet sale, in which La Gwyneth and her famous friends sell their expensive clothes to benefit various charities (and their own hopelessly cluttered lives!). As of this writing, almost everything is sold out except two pairs of Jennifer Aniston’s ugliest shoes.

In the latest post at her really helpful and down-to-earth lifestyle site GOOP, Gwyneth Paltrow suggested that we all make sex bark. What is sex bark? According to GOOP it's "a quick and potent chocolate recipe perfect for a sweet bite after a romantic dinner." For getting your Valentine's Day sexy on, duh. What…

After Mariah Carey's lawyer worked out a confidentiality agreement with Nick Cannon's lawyers, barring him from saying anything about their impending divorce, Cannon has contended that he was the one who ended their marriage. Via TMZ:

Normal People often bristle at the notion that celebrities, whose job requires them to have zero life skills, have suddenly discovered basic life skills, adopted them as hobbies, and feel qualified to teach the masses how to be better at doing the stuff they were already doing via a lifestyle blog.