Girl Scouts to Release New Cookie Flavors, Blow Your Goddamned Mind

The Girl Scouts are coming and this year, they are going to fuck up everything about your life with three new cookie flavors—two of which are gluten-free. Paging Phyllis Neffler, how many boxes will you be selling this year? More importantly, how many boxes can I eat without incurring diabetes? Because, let me be real… » 1/05/15 3:20pm 1/05/15 3:20pm

Fed Up With the Slutty Girl Scouts? Meet the Conservative Alternative.

Want your daughter to learn all about camping, sewing and car repair, but with a heaping helping of Jesus? You could try to find a local Girl Scout troop with an especially Bible-thumping troop leader. Or you could just skip straight to the American Heritage Girls, conservative Christianity's very own copycat. » 3/06/14 1:05pm 3/06/14 1:05pm