Fed Up With the Slutty Girl Scouts? Meet the Conservative Alternative.

Want your daughter to learn all about camping, sewing and car repair, but with a heaping helping of Jesus? You could try to find a local Girl Scout troop with an especially Bible-thumping troop leader. Or you could just skip straight to the American Heritage Girls, conservative Christianity's very own copycat. » 3/06/14 1:05pm 3/06/14 1:05pm

Finally: The Girl Scout Cookie Finding App of Your Dreams

In the old days, childless adults who wanted to get their Thin Mint on would have to seek out Girl Scout Cookies the ancient way: by approaching strange children on the street and asking them if they had any cookies, or by hanging out near elementary schools after the closing bell rang in hopes that one of the little… » 2/24/14 6:20pm 2/24/14 6:20pm

A Bunch of Pro-Lifers Are Trying to Boycott Girl Scout Cookies

Pro-lifers are mad that maybe, possibly, someone at the Girl Scouts of the USA could've conceivably obliquely hinted that Wendy Davis isn't literally Satan. Consequently, a Texas pro-life group is attempting to rally the pitchforks for a boycott of Girl Scout cookies. Attempting to punish a bunch of 10-year-olds over… » 1/30/14 6:00pm 1/30/14 6:00pm

The Girl Scouts Want to Fix America's Girls By Focusing on Diversity

After completing an extensive study that revealed perhaps obvious disparities in the experiences of girls in America, the Girl Scouts are trying to do something about it, by purposefully diversifying their troops as they face declines in membership. » 12/05/13 2:40pm 12/05/13 2:40pm

Pastor's Epic Rant: Girl Scout Cookies Turn The Children Into Lesbians

In addition to promoting team building, life skill acquiring, and adorable little girls in adorable matching uniforms photo ops, the Girl Scouts of America have long had a much more insidious agenda: promoting lesbianism. At least, if you ask a right-wing pastor who went on an epic, hilariously whackadoodle rant… » 10/22/13 12:40pm 10/22/13 12:40pm

Anti-Girl Scout Site Details Everything Awesome About Girl Scouts

I was a Girl Scout as a kid and if any little girl is ever unlucky enough to be my daughter, I will encourage her to be a Girl Scout, too. Being a part of GSUSA meant that between the age of six and eleven (eleven is when I officially became "too cool" and decided to devote all of my extra-curricular energy to watching… » 8/22/13 5:20pm 8/22/13 5:20pm

Girl Guides Don't Have to Pledge to God and Country Anymore

Girl Guides, the rest of the world's version of Girl Scouts, were always fascinating to me. As a 12-year Girl Scout who stuck with it until senior year of high school (I sold Thin Mints out of my locker and in the school parking lot. What of it?), Girl Guides were the Annie James to my Hallie Parker: basically the… » 6/18/13 7:15pm 6/18/13 7:15pm

Girl Scouts Add Video Game Dev Badge To Encourage More Female Techies

The realm of propaganda meant to recruit women into scientific or technological fields is often embarassingly off the mark. It's kind of remarkable that, amidst all this, not too many organizations think ton place young girls in environments where they actually interact with technology and the people who work in it.… » 4/20/13 12:30pm 4/20/13 12:30pm

Nearly All Girl Scouts Fear Going Broke Despite Big Cookie Bucks

It's hard not to trust the business acumen of a Girl Scout. As a group, they're tiny, well-organized, well-dressed and run a once-a-year racket with their cookie pushing, which, at $3.50 a box is nothing to scoff at. Still, a recent survey conducted by the Girl Scouts of the USA found that 88% of girls (not just scouts … » 4/17/13 4:30pm 4/17/13 4:30pm

Love Girl Scout Cookies and Being Drunk? Get Up on This Cookie Beer

Girl Scout Season officially came to an end on Sunday — there, there. It's gonna be OK, because we've got word of something even better — Girl Scout Cookie-inspired beers! Finally, we can feel guilty about finishing off an entire keg of Thin Mint beer while watching Burning Love! Evening plans, done and doner. » 3/18/13 11:15pm 3/18/13 11:15pm

Monster/Genius Charged with Stealing Nearly $20K Worth of Girl Scout…

Thirty-seven-year-old South Carolina man Christopher Maurice Morton has been charged with stealing nearly $19 thousand worth of Girl Scout cookies from a warehouse in Spartanburg. The theft was noticed on February 26th when workers at the Carey Moving and Storage company did inventory and discovered that over 50 cases… » 3/07/13 10:25am 3/07/13 10:25am

The New Girl Scout Cookie Has Some Wack-Ass Vitamins in It

The above little fancy pastry pushers will be hounding you later this month with their addictive Tagalongs, their ooey, gooey Samoas, and their sweet, sweet Thin Mints. Nobody is immune to these charms of these cookies — not even unattractive terrible person Ryan Gosling. » 1/15/13 9:30am 1/15/13 9:30am

The President Has Officially Endorsed His Favorite Girl Scout Cookie

Everybody needs to immediately stop everything that they're doing and listen to this important bulletin: the President of North America's Enormous Mosaic Belt Buckle Barack Obama has finally endorsed a Girl Scout cookie as the official cookie of his administration. Okay, maybe it's not the official cookie, but it's… » 7/16/12 10:25pm 7/16/12 10:25pm