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Another Set Of Mean Girls Videotape Attack On Classmate To Post On YouTube
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Maulleigh
05/03/09

In reply to Another Set Of Mean Girls Videotape Attack On Classmate To Post On YouTube
I'm glad they're dumb enough to tape it. More evidence. We should teach our teens to put everything on tape.

I found one of the poor unfortunates from my grade school online. We never beat her up, but she was teased unmercifully.

She's a lovely woman.
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Vastarien202
05/03/09

In reply to Another Set Of Mean Girls Videotape Attack On Classmate To Post On YouTube
I was bullied all through my school years, including physical beatings. I was the skinny kid that was always poor, always moving somewhere else, and way too smart for my own good.

Very little was ever done for me, and I can literally count on one hand the number of teachers who cared enough to even send me to the nurse for a band-aid and get the blood washed off.

My parents weren't much help; I rarely knew enough about my tormentors to tell on them, and my father told me to my face that I deserved what I got because I "refused to act right."

My mom did what she could, but it wasn't enough to make much of a difference(not her fault).

This experience has left me with two suicide attempts, panic attacks, intense social anxiety, and a massive hatred for all humanity as a whole.

I have the feeling that this crap will continue because it does one thing very well: it teaches the victims their place in society, and very few ever forget the lesson.
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WashingMyHair
05/03/09

@Vastarien202: School teachers and admin aside, I relate to you when it comes to how my parents handled things. I could say that my parents did the best they could, but I'm not totally sure I believe that. Regardless, this isn't something that a person deserves at any stage in their lives and it's not fair that you had to endure it.

Please know that you're not alone and that others out there understand what you're feeling.
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misapostrophe
05/03/09

In reply to Another Set Of Mean Girls Videotape Attack On Classmate To Post On YouTube
"Bullying" is such a tired misnomer. It's assault. Prosecute it accordingly.
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Mafalda para Presidente
05/03/09

@misapostrophe: Agreed. Calling it something else doesn't change the fact that this is assault.
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greengrey
05/03/09

@misapostrophe: I agree. I think part of "solving" the problem would be to call it assault and deal with it in the courts, not in the school.
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meritxell: an erotic life
05/03/09

@greengrey: Yeah, exactly. What do the kids care if they get suspended? Extra vacation! Fuckin' jail that ish.
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Mafalda para Presidente
05/03/09

In reply to Another Set Of Mean Girls Videotape Attack On Classmate To Post On YouTube
What makes me sad is that bullying leaves the kind of scars that never heal. That poor girl will carry this for the rest of her life. I was never bullied but I can still remember and feel bad about a couple of mean comments I got from other classmates (female classmates, by the way). I can't even imagine what being bullied would have done to my spirit.
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Mafalda para Presidente
05/03/09

@Mafalda para Presidente: In other words, I don't think bullying should be taken lightly, nor that it should be dismissed as "typical teenager behavior". It's a criminal act and it should be taken as so, especially when it comes to 15 year olds who already know quite well what they are doing.
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slowpoke.r
05/03/09

@Mafalda para Presidente: Have you ever read Cat's Eye by Margaret Atwood? She does an amazing job portraying how bullying can affect someone for life. It's really quite a moving book, probably the best I've read in terms of exploring the permanent damage that kids do to each other without adults realizing- and without even understanding what they're doing.
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ArtfulSlinger
05/03/09

In reply to Another Set Of Mean Girls Videotape Attack On Classmate To Post On YouTube
The no remorse thing is the problem here. There are times, especially as a teenager, you will do things that are wrong. This was heinous and cowardly on the part of the six girls, especially since this was an unsolicited fight provoked by sheer bullying. But the fact that the next day, they not only didnt feel bad about it, but were proud enough to upload the video of them beating a wounded girl, and then brushing off getting in trouble for is terrifying.
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beatrice2000
05/03/09

In reply to Another Set Of Mean Girls Videotape Attack On Classmate To Post On YouTube
greengrey: because they're white. If they were Black or Latina girls, they'd be criminalized more as being in a "gang."
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Brigit
05/03/09

@beatrice2000: Yup, pretty much.
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Ionic
05/03/09

In reply to Another Set Of Mean Girls Videotape Attack On Classmate To Post On YouTube
Even though I know about the bystander effect, it just doesn't make any sense to me emotionally. I. Just. Don't. Get it. How can you just stand by and watch when someone is getting beaten up and is screaming for help? When they are hopelessly outnumbered? How can you still consider yourself a human being? I mean everyone has a freaking mobile... no-one could have called 911?
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Ailanthus-altissima
05/03/09

@Ionic: If you know about the bystander effect, then you know about the diffusion of responsibility, the lack of comprehension of what is happening, and the fear of getting pulled into a situation that may lead to your getting harmed.

I don't know how I'd react in a situation like this, but the bystander effect makes sense to me and I cannot blame them for not doing anything.
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The HZA.
05/03/09

In reply to Another Set Of Mean Girls Videotape Attack On Classmate To Post On YouTube
Nadia, I'm sorry you went through this.

What an incredibly sad story. It's one of those things that makes me think there is no hope for the future.
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lillywolf
05/03/09

In reply to Another Set Of Mean Girls Videotape Attack On Classmate To Post On YouTube
Being infamous, it seems, is the next best thing to being famous.

I think this is a big part of the problem.
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Eric Northman is mine
05/03/09

@lillywolf: yup, everyone wants to be on you tube or perez hilton. By any means necessary- flashing your vagina to the paps, beating the crap out of your peers it's a means to the same end. The lines between fame and infamy has been blurred, these days as long as someone knows your name it's enough.
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tscheese
05/03/09

In reply to Another Set Of Mean Girls Videotape Attack On Classmate To Post On YouTube
What is wrong with these idiots who torment someone horribly and then put it on Youtube and then act all surprised when they get some goddamn comeuppance? What the hell is wrong with these bullies?

I hope Nadia is okay and that she sees justice done. Poor kid. Being fourteen sucks, but it sucks even more when a bunch of idiots are out to get you.
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Snowbunny
05/03/09

@tscheese: It sucks even more now that the world knows about how these assholes treat her. She's probably very embarrassed. Poor girl, I just want to give her a hug.
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slowpoke.r
05/03/09

@tscheese: Some years ago, there was a gang in the northeast that released a video of their greatest hits (pun intended) and started selling it on the web. Supposedly the cops bought themselves a copy, rounded the guys up, and successfully prosecuted them on assault charges using their own video, since they did not bother to obscure their identities on said video.

They were well beyond high school age. Sometimes people just really believe that they're untouchable.
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Ulookinatmyjunk, JOC
05/03/09

In reply to Another Set Of Mean Girls Videotape Attack On Classmate To Post On YouTube
Also, if the school has zero-tolerance and the mother knows her daughter has been being "bullied for years", why wasn't something done sooner?
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greengrey
05/03/09

@Ulookinatmyjunk: Diary of a Mad Black Blogger: Because teachers play favorites, and girl-bullies are usually smart enough to know they'll only get a smack on the wrist if their teacher likes them.
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Eric Northman is mine
05/03/09

@greengrey: it's funny how people think bullying goes unnoticed, in some weird ways SOME teachers tend to be nicer to the popular/rich/pretty cool kids and let whatever ugly behaviors slide than advocate for the weird/awkward/unpopular kids. It's all about the bullies being smart enough into manipulating older folks into thinking they're nice.
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Ulookinatmyjunk, JOC
05/03/09

In reply to Another Set Of Mean Girls Videotape Attack On Classmate To Post On YouTube
FYI: I was curious about what happened to the cheerleaders who lured their victim to the house and beat her. The oldest ones are being charged as adults and may get up to 10 years. So, chances are good, she will not be making it to cheerleading practice anytime this year.
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musicpup
05/03/09

@Ulookinatmyjunk: Diary of a Mad Black Blogger: Awww. How effing tragic for her. Maybe this bout of operant conditioning will help her realize how messed up that question was in the first place.
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greengrey
05/03/09

@Ulookinatmyjunk: Diary of a Mad Black Blogger: I wonder how good they'd be at playing mean girl games in jail?
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Mav
05/03/09

@greengrey: Yeah this made me think, I really don't think these girls are going to be any sort of rehabilitated once they get out.

What they did was horrible and wrong but sending them to jail for 10 years (obv less with probation) makes me a bit uneasy. Its not like I think once they get out of JAIL they'll be all like "No, totally was wrong to hit a bitch".
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PersonalBest
05/03/09

@Mav: You bring up a really excellent question. When offenders are young, I find, it's so hard to determine if they're people who just do bad things and will continue to do so (the old saying that criminals who go into jail just come out as better criminals) or if they're people who made a terribly stupid mistake when they were young and become reformed on the inside (like the case of Leslie van Houten, who was part of the Manson family, and has been living an exemplary life in prison since the killings). I think it's a bit of a crapshoot.
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Mav
05/03/09

@PersonalBest: I really hope their jail time includes rehab and therapy and actually, you know, discussing why what they did was wrong instead of just throwing them to the system.
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RoseColette (fewer thorns; more coffee)
05/03/09

@Ulookinatmyjunk: Diary of a Mad Black Blogger: The two guys who played lookout may get jail. The girls are getting a max of 1 yr in prison for the eldest and the rest probation and 3 others let off because of insufficient evidence. [www.polkmoms.com]
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Snowbunny
05/03/09

In reply to Another Set Of Mean Girls Videotape Attack On Classmate To Post On YouTube
"Zero tolerance," ur dooin it rong.

Seriously, schools drive me CRAZY when they don't take care of bullying. I teach at a summer camp and even the fourth graders I teach are starting to bully each other, but if I catch wind of any of that every single student gets to sit down and gets an incredibly terrifying lecture from yours truly. If I catch them doing it they get to go to the office for an even more terrifying lecture from a headmaster.

True, you can't really scare a 14 year old the same way you can scare an eight year old, but if teachers took care of the problem as it developed in the younger grades there would be less of a problem.
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Old King Clancy (the former Referee Pitman)
05/03/09

@Snowbunny: Yeah, admittedly, I'm not that far on my trajectory, but the key for the younger grades is making the rules clear and explicit and applying them consistently to everyone across all settings. Kids are smart enough to exploit any loopholes in consistency.
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Snowbunny
05/03/09

@Encouraging Referee Pitman: That's so true, and what sucks about the bullying thing is schools say they don't tolerate it but most schools don't have any black and white punishments for it. Just because you say you don't tolerate something doesn't mean anybody will listen to that.

And, sadly, usually the biggest loophole is teacher's laziness.
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nagumi
05/03/09

@Snowbunny: You can (scare a 14 year old), just not legally.
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Snowbunny
05/03/09

@nagumi: Well, if I ever did scare a 14 year old, I'll just make sure I don't put it on youtube.
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rah29
05/03/09

@Snowbunny: In the words of my biggest and scariest teacher when we were 15, after a major bullying incident: 'Don't bully, because I will find out, and I will fucking kill you.'

It worked.
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Snowbunny
05/03/09

@rah29: AMAZING. I love it.
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haguenite
05/03/09

In reply to Another Set Of Mean Girls Videotape Attack On Classmate To Post On YouTube
When I was 6, a classmate teased me relentlessly. My mom (usually a complete pacifist) told me to punch him. I did, and he's been afraid of me ever since.

Other bullies I never really stood up to. I'm still afraid of them in a way I'm not of this previously 6-year old classmate.

I'm not sure what this says, other than that if this were my daughter or niece, there is a good chance I would (want to) hunt those bitches down and smack them around.

And I detest violence.
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IBleedGlitter: The High Priestess of Tinsel
05/03/09

@haguenite: I'm not a violent person either, but I feel the same way. If this was my niece I would fly into a rage. Not only would I want to give them smack, but I'd want to call their parents and tell them what evil and hideous little children they're raising.
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haguenite
05/03/09

@IBleedGlitter: It's like, you know they're not gonna learn until they're older or something terrible happens (if at all) and you know that there's a good chance their parents will be all defensive and uncooperative as well, so what is left to do. Tell the bullied person not the mind them too much? That (s)he is a lovely person, and that this too shall pass?

You know, it will pass. And like me and many of my friends, this ex-bullied person will still feel horrible and nauseated whenever she passes a group of giggling boys/girl.

This is why I always (very quietly and in control) flipped my shit when I noticed even the least sign of bullying or teasing at the tutoring institute where I used to work.
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haguenite
05/03/09

@haguenite: not *to* mind them.
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Snowbunny
05/03/09

@haguenite: Ever since I was a little kid I would freak the fuck out on bullies and go at them like a spider monkey, it was just self preservation instinct. All the kids at my school were too afraid of me to try and bully me, so I don't have any trauma stories like most people, but they were also too afraid of me to want to be my friend, so I was very lonely.

Long story short I graduated from High School a semester early.
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NewsBunny
05/03/09

@Snowbunny: "go at them like a spider monkey' is a line I'm going to be stealing from you, my Bunny sister.
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birminghamdrunk
05/03/09

@haguenite: your story reminds me of my own- except i was older, and the new kid in 7th grade.

this bitch, i'll never forget her name- Pam- she kept telling everyone I was a whore, that I "did it" with lots of guys, and just generally bad-talking me to anyone who would listen. she would whisper, like, "HOE-BAG" or something under her breath when she'd pass me in the halls. this went on for at least a month or so without any protest from me- i thought if i ignored it long enough, it would just go away.

well, i literally had been a the school for about 2 months, and felt like a total newb. i only had a handful of "friends" which were really just people who sat close to me in classes- ya know- 7th grade was shit, right?

well- finally i told my dad, and i'll never forget what he said. "hm. sounds like a jealousy issue. well, it's a shitty thing to do to someone. sounds like she needs a good chokin'." i took him a little too seriously, and went to school the next day, walked directly up to Pam. she was leaning against a wall- and with both my hands i grabbed her neck, and squeezed as hard as i could. i felt sort of insane and out of control, so i slacked up a bit, but i hissed in her face "DONT'T CALL ME A WHORE AGAIN PAM." she was crying, and acting like she couldn't breathe, (but i knew she could) and managed to get out "i'm sorry. please let me go." - so i did. it couldn't have worked out better, really. no teachers saw it, and she didn't run to the principals office as i'd expected. i think she might have been embarissed, as she rightfully should have been.

but she stopped calling me a whore. which was what i wanted.

so yeah- bullying sucks. but i didn't get bullied anymore after that, as i recall.
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Snowbunny
05/03/09

@NewsBunny: It must run in the species! But I took that line from "Taledega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby," if you haven't seen it I suggest you do. It's a lawlfest.
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Ginmar Rienne
05/03/09

@birminghamdrunk: So you responded to smack talk with attacking somebody? Wow to both you and your dad. Did he do that to your mom, too?
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birminghamdrunk
05/03/09

@Ginmar Rienne: um, i was, what 12, and immature, so yes, i did. that was the opening story of haguenite's comment was it not?

and no, he didn't, (smack my mother around, that is) he just had a pretty wicked sense of humor, and was fairly sarcastic about stuff like that.

and really, i shouldn't bother responding, as your probably a troll, but if you knew anything about this site, and the stories people tend to tell about general life lessons that are learned, then you wouldn't be saying Wow to any of this. the story above is not something i'm particularly proud of- sorry i didn't express this the first time around- i was simply reminded of it due to the originating comment, and seeing as how i consider this a sort-of closed community of folks who tell similar stories, thought i could tell it without being condescended to by a random stupid troll.

but, sigh, cest la vie. now, piss off.
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sympathyforthebasementcat
05/03/09

In reply to Another Set Of Mean Girls Videotape Attack On Classmate To Post On YouTube
I just don't get this whole mean girl thing. I went to an all-girls school, and we had our fair share of entitlement, gossip, backstabbing and what have you - typical teen crimes on a pretty standard scale. But the urge to be truly cruel to others didn't seem to be widely spread. There wasn't any sort of fight the whole time I was there. And picking on the socially disadvantaged would have been considered mean and trashy - which wasn't a good thing.
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unmoldednicole
05/03/09

@sympathyforthedevil: Thats pretty much the same way my school was. When I went to a public school I got bullied by girls but when I went to a private it was like you said. Fighting like this or calling someone fat or poor would have backfired on the bully.
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sympathyforthebasementcat
05/03/09

@unmoldednicole: Beside the point, but is that Falcor? You have just earned yourself a friend. To remain on topic-ish. Perhaps if all bullied people had magical kingdoms and luckdragons to depend on, the world would be a better place.
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Eric Northman is mine
05/03/09

@sympathyforthedevil: I think this kind of behavior would be more common at mixed schools because girls have to compete for male attention/trying to look good/cool in front of guys. My sis went to an girls school and the girls were way nicer than some of the assholes that went to my mixed school. Not sure if this reflects anyone else's experiences.
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