Gifts For the Oblivious Babies In Your Life

Babies and small children, unfortunately, are ill-equipped to fully appreciate Christmas. Their little hands can’t hold things, nor can they grasp the concept of gifts. They’re built that way, and it’s no one’s fault. While their lack of comprehension doesn’t render them completely useless, it does make it hard to… »Wednesday 1:00pm11/25/15 1:00pm


Gifts for the Athlete Who Cannot Be Contained By a Gym

I hate the gym. Hate is, perhaps, a strong word, but I certainly and adamantly prefer not to be inside one. Unless a person is a fan of group fitness classes, they’re basically misery caves, especially in the winter— sweaty, air saturated with aspirated moisture from the pores of other humans, exertion sounds,… »Tuesday 2:40pm11/24/15 2:40pm

Silent Bridal Showers Are Real, and They're Shameless

Everyone knows that the point of a shower (wedding or baby) is to get presents. Most people, however, at least pretend to believe the polite fiction that showers are a time to get together and celebrate, because it’s inappropriate to just go after people for money without even pretending you want to see them. Not… »6/11/15 12:50pm6/11/15 12:50pm

Beware the Best Buy Wedding Registry, Lest You Look Like an Asshole

Wedding registries are a funny thing, an anachronism of the engagement and marriage process of yore. They're a throwback to the days when couples married younger and really were just starting out. Things are much different now, but registries are still a big business. Best Buy wants a piece of that action, so they've… »2/16/15 2:30pm2/16/15 2:30pm

The Real Meaning Behind the Shitty Christmas Gifts You Didn't Ask For

I used to think that getting a crappy Christmas gift was a reflection on the bad judgment and lack of creativity of the giver of said gift. And, in some cases, it is—the plastic bag of anti-aging Avon cosmetics for a woman with a "medium to dark" complexion that my mean aunt gave me when I was a freckle-faced… »12/26/14 3:30pm12/26/14 3:30pm