Guys, what the world needs now is a big-budget display of American aggression. Thank Zeus for Paramount Pictures' G.I. Joe: Retaliation, which premiered last night in Hollywood. If you dig lantern-jawed dudes, WTF dresses and Molly Ringwald, step right up and check out this red carpet.

We've seen how Lego's boy and girl commercials seem intent on keeping the genders separate from childhood, but what about the rest of the toy world? What happens when, for instance, you play G.I. Joe's bone-crunching heavy metal toy commercial music in a video of Barbie trying on her latest swimsuit? Total and utter…

SNL opened with a skit of the man acting unhinged. Charlie Sheen broadcast himself acting unhinged. Everyone's Tweeting jokes about WINNING and tiger blood and being on a drug called Charlie Sheen. The actor separates from and then reunites with a woman he refers to as one of "the goddesses" within like five seconds.…

Kevin Federline's O.G. baby mama, Shar Jackson, tells Us that Britney's kids haven't really noticed that their mom is not around. Says Shar: "They're babies, you know, they don't really know...Of course, all kids say, 'mama,' but they don't really know [where she is]." • There was a rumored New Kids On The Block…