OMG, Tom Hanks. Could you be anymore likable? Not only do you have a reputation for being the nicest guy in Hollywood, but now you're going on Jimmy Fallon and doing Full House slam poetry? Safe to say you got it, dude. Snaaaaaaaps.

In this edition of Tweet Beat, the cast of Full House reunites without the Olsens, Retta recognizes her TV doppelganger, Ewan McGregor loves Breaking Bad and Patti Stanger is a dumb-dumb.

To the folks who have been screaming AHHHH YOU GAINED WEIGHT, WHAT ARE YOU, FATNESS EVERDEEN, Lady Gaga continues to level a resounding "Fuck yourself." Although the rumor out of Universal is that they had to order new, larger costumes for her, she told radio host Elvis Duran that she "doesn't feel bad about it. Not even…

Breaking news: Teenage girls have complex friendships. I know this not because I'm a teenage girl (I'm a gay man, actually, which I guess can be sort of the same thing) but because television and film told me so.

Today in Tweet Beat, Bob Saget remembers old times, Candace Cameron has new shoes, Jane Fonda is hanging out with Cat Stevens, and the Fort Hood tragedy reminds Hugh Hefner—and us—how freaking old he is.

• You may want to just give up on life: Kristin Cavallari is getting $63,000 per episode to "play" a "villain" on The Hills. [PopCrunch]

Inspired partly by Tracie's opening credits post and partially by this piece in the San Francisco Chronicle about "very special episodes," I decided to examine the important lessons we learned from our childhood sitcom heroines.

Even our own nostalgia for these TV shows doesn't mean we forgive—or even understand the WTF-ness of—their opening credits. After the jump, a rundown of some of the most offensive.

• Actress Tara Reid has checked herself into Promises Treatment Center for unspecified reasons. "She checked in herself – it was her decision," says a friend. [People]

For children of the 80's, the past few years have been a nostalgia overload of sorts. Now that our generation is staring to make decisions regarding television programming, movie scripts, and big-budget remakes, the heroes of our youth are making their way back into our lives, whether we like it or not. Of course, it…