Welcome to Friendzone, Jezebel's column devoted to dealing with the valuable people in your life who you're not humping. Got an issue and looking for guidance? Email friendzone@jezebel.com.
There are things every woman should just know she's not supposed to do when it comes to her female friends, right? Right? Anyone? Is this thing on?
In addition to the many messages you will begin to notice comin' directly at your brain-face as you hit your late twenties/early thirties about all the things that will get "harder" for you as you get older (ever being skinny again, finding the right dude to impregnate you with the right, skinniest baby) a big one…
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Hey, did you ever notice that sometimes men and women have sex with each other, but then other times men and women just talk and hang out and don't have sex with each other? Almost like...friendship? Confusing, right? I mean, which is it!? Are they having sex or are they not having sex? Is not having sex its own…
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Breaking news: Teenage girls have complex friendships. I know this not because I'm a teenage girl (I'm a gay man, actually, which I guess can be sort of the same thing) but because television and film told me so.
