Video of Rihanna Being Swarmed and Mobbed by French Fans Is Terrifying

The narrative: Rihanna's car approaches her hotel. A few fans get close, peering inside. Peering turns into pounding on the windows. A few fans turn into a crowd. A crowd turns into a screaming throng, crushing and pushing as she emerges from the vehicle. Warning: This will make you feel anxious. » 2/25/14 12:00pm 2/25/14 12:00pm

French Media Convinced Beyoncé and President Obama Are Having Affair…

Today in WHAT?????!!!!, a French photographer named Pascal Rostain claims that the President of the United States of America, Barack Obama, is embroiled in a love affair with internationally famous pop star Beyoncé. Oh, and we're going to read about it in the Washington Post tomorrow. » 2/10/14 10:40am 2/10/14 10:40am

You Don't Have to Be French to Be Sexy

Pop quiz: If a woman looks old + sexy and no one is around to validate her, does she still emit a breathy whimper? No really, in order to be sexy, who has to "agree" that you're sexy? Any passing stranger? A panel of Russian judges? The answer is one person, and one person only: You. The rest is sexy magic. And you don't … » 2/04/14 10:20am 2/04/14 10:20am

François Hollande and Valerie Trierweiler Are Breaking Up

The presidential sex saga between French President François Hollande, First Lady Valérie Trierweiler, and actress Julie Gayet has reached a conclusion...for the time being. Hollande himself called Agence France-Presse this weekend to give everyone a heads up that he's initiated a break up with Trierweiler in the wake of… » 1/26/14 12:00pm 1/26/14 12:00pm

Fucking Sephora Really Wants French People to Work on Sundays

Fucking Sephora, man. It can’t just be content with the fact that people all over the world yearn for its outrageously expensive (and tiny) cosmetics — now, thanks in part to the opportunity provided by a stagnant French economy and a busy location on the Champs-Élysées, Sephora is leading the charge to dismantle some of … » 10/20/13 3:00pm 10/20/13 3:00pm

French Government Trying to Ban Child Beauty Pageants

A bill seeking to outlaw child beauty pageants—arguing that they hypersexualize minors—has passed in the French Senate 196 to 146 votes. If the bill is passed by the National Assembly it will officially become law, leaving hordes of purposeless stage mères to drift the narrow French lanes in feral packs, hawking used… » 9/18/13 6:00pm 9/18/13 6:00pm

A Very French Trailer for Lesbian Romance Blue Is the Warmest Color

Here’s the very first (barely NSFW and entirely French) trailer for Blue Is the Warmest Color, the coming-of-age, lesbian romance that won the Palm d’Or at Cannes (but that won’t, thanks to some silly rules about release dates, be able to compete for a foreign language Oscar). If you don’t speak French because you… » 8/17/13 4:00pm 8/17/13 4:00pm

The French Finally Get Their Own Word for ‘Binge Drinking’

For years, it appears, there has been no binge drinking in France. None. Literally no one in the history of France has ever gotten drunk on purpose, even Gerard Depardieu! The very concept of glugging bottom-shelf garbage spirits for the purposes of inebriation, social fluidity, sexy intercourse, and barfing was so… » 7/29/13 7:00pm 7/29/13 7:00pm

Cannes Jewel Heist Might Be the Second-Largest Ever in France

A good, old-fashioned jewel heist has been successfully carried off in the South of France. According to several media outlets, an armed man stole about $53 million in jewels from the Carlton Hotel in Cannes, the very spot where, the BBC notes wryly, Albert Hitchcock filmed To Catch a Thief. » 7/28/13 12:30pm 7/28/13 12:30pm