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Fox News Mouthbreather Calls Bachelorette Andi a 'Slut'

Like a lot of people, the cast of Fox News' The Five were abuzz about Monday's Bachelorette finale in which rejected contestant Nick pulled back the show's see-through curtain and admitted that the Bachelorette (in this case, Andi Dorfman) does indeed sleep with several of the men vying for her affections. This… » 7/30/14 7:45pm 7/30/14 7:45pm

Colbert Perfectly Calls Out Conservatives' Hypocrisy on Child Refugees

Conservative pundits are very concerned about the well-being of child refugees who are fleeing to the U.S. borders from Central America in droves right now. Why, they say, will no one think of the children during these times of crisis? At least the heroes of the right are considering these poor kids...mostly by… » 7/18/14 12:45pm 7/18/14 12:45pm

This Lady Killer's Charisma Will Burn Right Through Your Screen

If you were one of the lucky people watching this piece about how great Centerville, Ohio is on Independence Day (because why wouldn't you? It's not like you were drinking or eating corn to celebrate FREEDOM), you may have already become acquainted with this teenage heartthrob who took over the interview with nothing… » 7/07/14 5:20pm 7/07/14 5:20pm

Hillary Clinton to Do Terrible Half-Hour Interview on Fox News

I'm not sure why any remotely sensible human would agree to do a longform interview with the bleating propaganda-mongers at Fox News—let alone a human like Hillary Clinton, who's been so relentlessly shredded and libeled and dehumanized by their pundits and audience. But okey dokey, Hillz! I'm sure it'll be supes… » 5/29/14 3:20pm 5/29/14 3:20pm

No, Fox News. Female Breadwinners Are Not 'A Problem.'

Folks, society has A Problem. The Problem is that women are winning too much bread versus the men, who themselves wish to win the most bread. In the contest of the winning of the bread, women sometimes win. This might lead to divorce because cavemen but also maybe not because social progress. There. I just summarized… » 5/05/14 5:40pm 5/05/14 5:40pm

Bill O'Reilly: Beyoncé Doesn't Care About Teen Pregnancy

Word of Beyonce's appearance on Time's list of the hundred most influential people has finally reached straw-boater-wearing Saturday Evening Post music critic Bill O'Reilly, and he is not pleased. He's convinced that Beyonce is most certainly not empowering and quite probably encourages teen pregnancy, especially… » 4/29/14 11:00am 4/29/14 11:00am

Brit Hume Applauds Megyn Kelly's Influential Hotness

This year, Time is honoring the people it's deemed the 100 Most Influential by having other influential people write their profiles — Dolly Parton wrote about Miley Cyrus, President Obama wrote about the Pope, Madeleine Albright wrote about Vladimir Putin in what will surely go down in history as the "Ether" of… » 4/24/14 1:30pm 4/24/14 1:30pm

Quit Trying to Make the 'War on Easter' Happen

Apparently unsatisfied with only Yuletide declarations of being warred upon, Fox News is now trying to convince its perpetually oppressed white, male, elderly, Christian audience that another Christian holiday is Under Attack: Easter. Hey guys, get down from that cross! There's already another guy up there! » 4/18/14 4:41pm 4/18/14 4:41pm

Fox News Has Crazy New Idea of Putting 4 Women on One News Show

Fox News announced today that the news network of choice for the hate-poisoned elderly will soon be launching an innovative new show called which will feature four female panelists and — wait for the twist, guys; it's so good! — ONE DUDE. It's called "Outnumbered" and it will for sure be a gigantic leap forward for… » 4/16/14 6:30pm 4/16/14 6:30pm