Foods That Should Not Exist: The Entire Taco Bell Breakfast Menu

Welcome to another edition of Foods That Should Not Exist, where for some reason — probably my own inability to sense impending doom — I allowed several readers to convince me to eat and then review the entire Taco Bell breakfast menu. Astoundingly, I got out of the affair with only minor internal injuries. » 4/09/14 5:26pm 4/09/14 5:26pm

More Foods That Shouldn't Exist: Balut, Beans, and Beef Tongue, Oh My

Welcome back to Foods That Should Not Exist, our weekly series where Kitchenette goes on a deep, spiritual quest to eventually offend everyone in the entire world. Last week we checked Scandinavia and New England off that list, so let's see who I can piss off this week, shall we? » 3/05/14 1:22pm 3/05/14 1:22pm

Fast Foods That Should Not Exist

I love fast food so much that my feelings for it are probably illegal in Georgia. It's objectively disgusting, of course, but I truly love it. Give me a BK Double Stacker or a Big Mac or literally anything from Popeye's and I'm a happy (and gastrically-distressed) camper. But really, never has the tag for these… » 1/19/14 9:55pm 1/19/14 9:55pm

Foods That Should Exist (And Do, Obviously)

OK, guys. Here it is. I know a lot of you have been curious about what foods I love. I didn't pick obvious things (I mean, you know I love bacon, what the fuck would be the point in talking about it), or things I've already mentioned I love (with one exception that required some explanation, and also Peanut Sauce,… » 12/07/13 12:22pm 12/07/13 12:22pm

Yet More Foods That Should Not Exist

I was originally going to do the long-awaited "Foods That Should Exist" post this week. Believe me, I planned to. I had all the entries worked out and everything. Then I realized two things: 1) it is way, way easier to be funny about things you hate than about things you love, and 2) there are still so many foods I… » 11/30/13 1:03pm 11/30/13 1:03pm

Thanksgiving Foods That Should Not Exist + A Very Special Entry

Ahhh, Thanksgiving. My favorite holiday. I actually have a lot to be thankful for. I have a loving girlfriend, a surprisingly not-hate-worthy job in a city I quite like (despite the last entry on this article), and the English language has a seemingly-endless variety of ways to say that food is terrible. And what… » 11/23/13 12:10pm 11/23/13 12:10pm