Guy Fieri's New Menu Offers a 52-oz Bloody Mary Garnished with Sausage

It appears that Guy Fieri, Clown Prince of Flavortown, is in the breakfast game now, and he's taken to it like a duck wearing backwards sunglasses riding a skateboard through a lake of flames. The menu at Guy Fieri's Vegas Kitchen & Grill includes "Dragon's Breath Chili Cornbread Benedict," "Chicken Fried Bacon… » 8/01/14 8:30pm Yesterday 8:30pm

How Can You Possibly Love an Adult Who Eats Like a Toddler?

She's a meat-eater; he's vegan. She likes salads; he lives on hot dogs and Cheez Whiz. These are examples of real-life couples whose pairings make no sense to me. Because I could not love a person (romantically) who would never eat vegetables. Or if I did love them, I would consider it star-crossed. Uh,… » 8/01/14 2:40pm Yesterday 2:40pm

The Food Network's New, Improved App Is Effing Amazing

Earlier this month, the Food Network released a new, improved version of its app that promises to allow users to create their own grocery lists, search via ingredient or preferred chef, and basically allow your phone to live the 1950's dream kitchen fantasy, minus the circle skirt color coordinated with the countertop. » 7/28/14 11:30am Monday 11:30am

Some Fool Paid $255 For the Last Crumbs Cupcake

This week has been quite the emotional roller coaster for lovers of Crumbs cupcakes. First we hear that Crumbs has decided to close all its stores amid the dire financial crisis that is the bursting of the cupcake bubble. Then, hope is revived with news that investors may be stepping up to keep the overpriced baked… » 7/11/14 7:15pm 7/11/14 7:15pm

Summer Grinches File Thousands of Complaints Against Ice Cream Trucks

The repetitive mechanical music of ice cream trucks is as much a part of summer's aural wallpaper as the sound of kids asking their parents when they can go back inside to play video games because it's tooooo hoooooot ouuuuuut, but some warm weather pooh pooh-ers are doing their part to change that. » 7/07/14 7:00pm 7/07/14 7:00pm

Holy Crap, Guy Fieri's 'Cheesecake Challenge' Dessert Is Harrowing

The new menu of the Las Vegas restaurant belonging to celebrity douche-chef Guy Fieri has already made several heaving rounds on the internet, and while many have the courage to laugh at such offerings as pepperoni wrapped breadsticks known as Guy-talian Fondue Dippers, few have the courage to try them. And even fewer… » 6/27/14 3:15pm 6/27/14 3:15pm

Everything I Fucked Up While Trying to Eat Like Gwyneth for a Week

If there's one thing I love, it's cheese-covered gluten. And if there are two things I love, they're cheese-covered gluten and making fun of lifestyle guru and noted Veela Gwyneth Paltrow. So when I came across a copy of Gwyneth's 2014 diet book It's All Good ("delicious, easy recipes that will make you look good and… » 6/27/14 2:10pm 6/27/14 2:10pm

Rotten Skate, South Korea's 'Smelliest Food,' Peels Your Mouth Skin Off

As a rule, I aim to be 100% nonjudgmental about other cultures' "weird" foods. Like, why the fuck shouldn't someone eat a roasted tarantula? I'd eat literally eight crabs right now. I would crack open their carapaces and use their own spiky toes to pick out their guts. A tarantula is basically the same thing, only… » 6/16/14 4:40pm 6/16/14 4:40pm