The Definitive Ranking of Girl Scout Cookies

Girl Scout Cookies are "just" cookies like the Manhattan Project was "just" a chemistry experiment. And it's in that spirit that today, this very frigid Friday afternoon, we settle, once and for all, which kind is best. Unequivocally. » 2/20/15 5:20pm 2/20/15 5:20pm

Joan Didion's Crème Caramel Must Be Very Hostile

Earlier today, Grub Street offered a look into the culinary world of author (and famed entertainer) Joan Didion. "Joan Didion's Crème Caramel Recipe Is As Charming As She Is," touts the headline. Does that mean that her crème caramel is notably hostile? Because Joan Didion—and I mean this in the most adoring and… » 2/12/15 5:00pm 2/12/15 5:00pm

What's the Best Tea Steeper?

Tea is great for you, but what's the best way to make it? That's what we're going to be voting on this week, and we expect to be steeped in great nominations. » 2/09/15 3:15pm 2/09/15 3:15pm

The Grossest Thing You've Ever Eaten

This week, the Bristol Zoo in Bristol, UK lost an entire family of endangered warty pigs because the dad warty pig decided to eat his offspring and mate. At the same zoo, a rare lion headed golden tamarin was recently eaten by a gang of otters after it got into the otter enclosure. Both are sad incidents and,… » 2/06/15 8:50pm 2/06/15 8:50pm

American Hero Food Critic Marilyn Hagerty Reviews Her Local McDonald's

Marilyn Hagerty, the Grand Forks, North Dakota writer who rose to national prominence by writing an earnest review for her local Olive Garden, has finally conquered the Rachmaninoff Piano Concerto No. 3 of food critique: McDonald's. » 1/22/15 2:30pm 1/22/15 2:30pm

Our Dumbest Diets: An Anonymous Jezebel Retrospective 

It's January 2015—time to leave that holiday trend called "eating" behind and starve your tender, fragile bodies of nutrients. Oscar-winning director Lee Daniels is doing it! He's only eating carrots! He's ONLY EATING CARROTS. To honor this amazing decision, several Jezebel staffers have attempted to extract… » 1/02/15 4:10pm 1/02/15 4:10pm

Farewell to Sam Kass, Resident White House Hottie

That sound you're hearing is the sound of a million bereft individuals throwing all the leafy greens they bought this weekend into the garbage, because White House food expert Sam Kass is leaving our nation's most prestigious building. Big picture/bottom line: the number of hot people in Washington now hovers at a… » 12/08/14 3:30pm 12/08/14 3:30pm

Happy National Comfort Food Day. What Are You Making?

Today is National Comfort Food Day which means we should all talk about the delicious things we're going to make tonight while at home watching Shark Tank instead of heading to a hot yoga class and detoxing with green tea in an attempt to prep our bodies for next week's onslaught of endless holiday parties. » 12/05/14 12:50pm 12/05/14 12:50pm

How To Eat Thanksgiving Dinner: A Strategy Guide

How does one eat a Thanksgiving meal? On its face this might seem like a ridiculous question, and also everywhere else too. I mean, who doesn't know how to eat? (Excepting the British, of course.) Thanksgiving is marked, more than anything else, by its abundance of tasty foodstuffs; practically speaking, it is a… » 11/27/14 5:41pm 11/27/14 5:41pm

FDA to Ruin Your Cheesecake Factory Run With Calorie Counts

Thanks to a new Food and Drug Administration ruling, not even movie theaters and pizza shops will be safe havens for calorie overloads anymore. Every shop, picture house and chain restaurant must list their menu's calorie count. Merry Christmas and Happy Thanksgiving! » 11/25/14 11:10am 11/25/14 11:10am

Flavor Savoring in the Boom Boom Room: Pizza Hut Daps My Mouth-Hand

Not until Monday night did it occur to me how badly I wanted to own a shirt that said SAVOR THE FLAVOR. On a free-standing garment rack, wedged between an apron, a black vinyl puffer vest, and several other shirts of sartorial insignificance, there was a bright-red women's v-neck t-shirt demanding that I put a… » 11/14/14 12:27pm 11/14/14 12:27pm

The Internet Is Losing Its Shit Over a Senator's Dairy Queen Tweet

This is Chuck Grassley, a Republican United States Senator from Iowa. (Everyone say "Hi Chuck!") On Monday, he turned the Internet from a temporary repository for people to freak out about teenagers who work in retail to a den of speculation and—dare I say—wonder. » 11/03/14 10:30pm 11/03/14 10:30pm

The Hello Kitty Cafe is Coming to California in 2015

Have you been drooling over those Hello Kitty Cafe food pics from Japan? I have (and I've also been trying to come up with ways to turn all my food into cartoon characters). Well, there's good news if you can't afford a trip overseas and you happen to live in California. » 11/02/14 11:30pm 11/02/14 11:30pm

4-Year-Old Reviews Fancy Restaurant Adults Would Kill to Get Into

Have you ever seen anything more hilarious than a tiny child who is not old enough to appreciate fine dining be subjected to the classiest food and service available? I haven't, but that's because I don't get out a lot. And because there is nothing funnier than a four-year-old who can't read a menu. Well, maybe a… » 10/30/14 3:15pm 10/30/14 3:15pm

Engagement Chicken: A History of Romantic Culinary Bullshit

We're just six weeks short of Thanksgiving, which means two things: First, if your Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Year plans involve air travel, book your ticket now or suffer the financial consequences. Secondly, if you're looking to get hitched over the holidays and believe in magic, it might be time to bust out the… » 10/15/14 12:21pm 10/15/14 12:21pm

Michelle Obama Makes Best Vine Ever for 'Turnip For What’

First Lady Michelle Obama is really, really serious about her "Let's Move" healthy living campaign. Except no, she's not serious serious. Not at all. » 10/14/14 11:05pm 10/14/14 11:05pm

Eating in Bed Is Turning Your Sheets Into a Bug Paradise

Eating in bed seems like a pretty normal activity. We have all done it at some point. And now that it's getting colder and Unsealed: Alien Files is available on Netflix, there is nothing better than curling up in bed with a TV show and a snack. The comfort and convenience of eating in bed is almost enough to make… » 10/13/14 1:30pm 10/13/14 1:30pm

Watch These Second Graders React to Tasting the World's Finest Food

In an attempt to introduce small children to the joys of eating eel ("no, it's a snake") and "orange stuff," New York City restaurant Daniel invited a whole group of them to nosh on fish eggs and "little forests" of arugula that would normally cost $220. Their reactions, unsurprisingly, are priceless. » 10/11/14 4:35pm 10/11/14 4:35pm

New York Times Op-Ed Declares Brunch 'For Jerks'

In this Sunday's New York Times, writer David Shaftel has declared brunch "for jerks" who refuse to grow up and instead wish to languish in endless adolescence while the real adults (like David Shaftel) live their adult lives. David Shaftel is getting older, and he hates it. A lot. » 10/10/14 1:50pm 10/10/14 1:50pm