Fuck, Marry, Kill: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Friends, we live in a dark, uncertain world. War, famine, prejudice, disease—sometimes the swirling tide of confusion is so strong that we fear we may be washed away entirely. And that's why Jezebel is passionately committed to chipping away at life's toughest and most overwhelming questions. Why are we here? Who, in… » 3/22/13 4:00pm 3/22/13 4:00pm

Fuck, Marry, Kill: Jim Cantore Severe Weather Edition

In the days before the internet, plucky frontierspeople had a folk wisdom way of telling when a big storm was a-coming — animals behaved strangely, the wind would pick up a spooky chill, and The Weather Channel's Jim Cantore would appear, striding, like a hairless, sentient, be-slickered penis into your town. And since … » 10/29/12 12:55pm 10/29/12 12:55pm

Are You Prepared to Face the Worst Fuck, Marry, Kill of All Time?

Fuck, Marry, Kill — the thought experiment that's a staple of school buses from coast to coast — can be a game of joyful possibility. But, with a few tweaks, the game can quickly turn from a fun romp through a mental photo album of shirtless Idris Elbas and Liam Hemsworths into a nightmarish trip through a land of… » 4/04/12 6:00pm 4/04/12 6:00pm