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Floridians Having 'Direct Contact' With Armadillos Causes Leprosy Spike 

Once again, Florida is leading the nation: The same state that brought you Disney World and the world’s first and only mollusk museum is now leading the country in new cases of leprosy. 9 new cases of the disease have been diagnosed in Florida since the beginning of 2015, and experts suggest that “fuckin’ with… » 7/22/15 5:05pm 7/22/15 5:05pm

Vandals Wreck, Submerge Car of Black Bishop, Call It 'Charleston 2'

Remarkably, this is not even the first time that New Shiloh Christian Center in Melbourne, Florida has been attacked. In February, a vandal set fire to the church’s storage shed and tagged it with swastikas; in March, the church’s trucks were vandalized. Somehow, these attacks were not described as hate crimes by… » 7/14/15 6:15pm 7/14/15 6:15pm

Watch The Tearful Moment a Judge Realizes Suspect Is Childhood Friend

You expect people to get emotional in court, but it’s very rare that the person dropping the feelings is the judge In this case, however, Florida judge Mindy Glazer got the shock of her life when Arthur Booth, the man brought before her for burglary and grand theft was “the nicest kid” she knew in middle school. » 7/03/15 1:30pm 7/03/15 1:30pm

Old Man Slashes Woman's Tires After She Sits in His Bingo Seat

For some people, bingo isn’t just a game, it’s serious business. 82-year-old Fred Smith became angry when he saw 88-year-old Ethel Britt sitting in his favorite bingo seat. In an act of geriatric revenge, he slashed the tires on her van with an ice pick. The bingo game occurred at Lake Ashton Retirement Community Club… » 5/31/15 7:45pm 5/31/15 7:45pm

Orlando Breastaurant Rejects Woman For Being 'Too Muscular'

Victoria Smith is a 29-year-old fitness addict, an enthusiastic amateur body builder who’s getting ready to start a job as a flight attendant later this summer. In the meantime, to earn a little extra cash, she applied at the Orlando location of the breastaurant chain The Tilted Kilt, where she says she was rejected… » 5/28/15 5:00pm 5/28/15 5:00pm

New Super Powerful Drug Called Flakka Wreaking Havoc on Florida

Flakka sounds like it would be a good time. Named after a Spanish slang word for “pretty woman,” it seems like it would feel like a trip to the moon on gossamer wings, but the name is misleading: Flakka is a potent stimulant that turns people aggressive and violent, making them believe they have superhero strength.… » 5/27/15 3:30pm 5/27/15 3:30pm

Florida College Sued Over Forced Vaginal Exams During Class

Valencia College in Orlando, Florida is the subject of a federal lawsuit filed by two students in the school’s medical diagnostics program. They allege that they were forced to undergo transvaginal probing during class and that faculty supervising made inappropriate comments during the exams creating a frightening and… » 5/19/15 4:40pm 5/19/15 4:40pm

Florida Rep. Alan Grayson on Split from Wife: 'Gold Diggers Gotta Dig'

The divorce proceedings between Florida Congressman Alan Grayson and his estranged wife Lolita, once delayed by a leaky breast implant, continue to be understated and mutually respectful. Grayson, one of the richest men in Congress, paused on his way into court to tell a TV reporter, “Gold diggers gotta dig.” » 5/19/15 2:00pm 5/19/15 2:00pm

Miami Beach Police Sent So, So Many Racist, Sexist Emails

Miami Beach Police Chief Daniel Oates told reporters on Thursday that 16 officers in his department sent “hundreds” of racist, sexist, pornographic emails, which could jeopardize the criminal cases they’re witnesses in and also just looks terrible. The emails spanned about a two-year period and involved two… » 5/18/15 12:30pm 5/18/15 12:30pm

Pregnant Woman Attacked By Neighbor For Witchcraft

A Florida woman who was six months pregnant was attacked by a neighbor with a large rock because she thought she was performing witchcraft. Esther Horton was in her driveway, putting her four-year-old son in a car seat when Annie Olomua came running towards her, screamed an obscenity and threw the rock at her head.… » 5/10/15 7:15pm 5/10/15 7:15pm

Cherele's 'vi$ions' Is All Like, 'Eat It'

With “vi$ions,” Florida vocalist Cherele joins the hallowed canon of women telling their lovers to “eat it” on wax, a deeply noble endeavor. The video, which includes a moment where she Omars-out and robs some drug dealers before screaming into her phone with a red cup (the latter part: I can relate), debuted today » 5/08/15 7:50pm 5/08/15 7:50pm

Florida Woman Texts 'Drunk Driving Woo' Before Fatal DUI Accident

Mila Dago is a 24-year-old woman from Miami who, in August of 2013, was going through a rough breakup, according to the Miami Herald. Driving a rented SmartCar in the wee hours of the morning after a night of partying, Dago sent her ex a slew of messages, the last of which were “Driving drunk woo,” “Ill be dead thanks… » 5/01/15 5:25pm 5/01/15 5:25pm

'Fuck This Court': Florida Woman Pens Nation's Greatest Legal Brief…

Tamah Jade Clark, a resident of Florida, wife to Jason Clark , and mother to baby Clark, filed a legal brief with the district court earlier this month which will no doubt be the opening salvo in some sort of violent, profanity-laced revolution we will all be eventual witness to.
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