No, Florida, You Can't Have a Same-Sex Marriage Ban Either

Surprising absolutely no one, yet another judge has ruled that a state ban on same-sex marriage is unconstitutional. This time in the sunny state of Florida. Circuit Court Judge Sarah Zabel in Miami-Dade County said the state's ban denied due process and equal protection, and because she's a badass, also "basic human… » 7/26/14 5:35pm Saturday 5:35pm

CAT DIALS 911 Is the Ultimate Summer News Story

Forget a slow news day—summer is the slow news season. Politicians, celebs and bigwigs aren't doing anything but chilling at their second and third homes. Coverage thins to two categories: sudden catastrophes (plane crash, plane crash, plane crash) and "hell, just go with it." Here is the ultimate example of the… » 7/24/14 1:00pm 7/24/14 1:00pm

Sunday Night Sign-Off: The Weirdest Undersea "Concert"

The Associated Press posted this footage of an underwater concert held in the Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary today and I have no idea what any of these 59 seconds actually mean. If someone knows, please help me. My only explanation so far is Florida.

Also, congratulations to Germany for their nail biter of a… » 7/13/14 6:48pm 7/13/14 6:48pm

Florida Woman Leaves Dog to Die As She Shops At Walmart for 13 Hours

There are a lot of things to take away from the story. The first is that there are people out there who are horrible and will leave their dogs to die of heat exhaustion as they shop for low-price goods at unbelievable discounts. The second is that there are people who will spend 13 hours in a Walmart. What is the… » 7/09/14 9:40am 7/09/14 9:40am

Florida Woman to Cop: The Crack Foil Is Hurting My Vagina

Jennifer Renee Crosby was arrested in Wabasso, Florida when she tried to hide drugs up her vagina. Her first mistake was trying to sell drugs. Her second mistake was riding with a man who didn't have a license. Her third mistake (these might not be in order) was sticking foil-wrapped crack inside her genitals. I am… » 7/08/14 2:30pm 7/08/14 2:30pm

This Girl Looks Remarkably Like Elsa From Frozen

Anna Faith, a teenager from Florida, looks a lot like Elsa, the lonely snow queen from Disney's Frozen. In fact, she looks so much like Elsa that she and a pal don costumes and hire themselves out for events and visits to schools. Fans, please try not to bombard her with requests for adult birthday parties; knocking… » 6/13/14 10:20am 6/13/14 10:20am