Workout Like It's 1985: Jane Fonda's Fitness Vids Are Being Rereleased

Jane Fonda's 1980s aerobics videos were the conduit that first brought fitness to the home (via that fun new invention, the VCR). It was a good-time workout you could do in your living room, led by that spunky actress everyone wanted to be, and befriend. Her debut 1982 video remains the best selling fitness video of… » 12/29/14 6:40pm 12/29/14 6:40pm

Your Cheap-Ass Gym Is Messing With Your Mind, Doesn't Want You Healthy

Most of us hate going to the gym. It's intimidating and, unless you're Hamilton Nolan, you don't even know how to use half the machines and weights. So when Planet Fitness showed up and started offering pizza nights and massage chairs, it all sounded great. But Planet Fitness doesn't really care about your fitness. In… » 12/18/14 9:30pm 12/18/14 9:30pm

Too Rich or Lazy to Function? 'Fitness Concierge' Service Will Help

New from the perpetually robust New York Times Wealth Gap/Are You Kidding Me section, we have a sweet little story about a company that offers services like "booking your workout classes for you" ($350 per month; a bargain!) and "coming to your house at 5 AM and making you get dressed for your workout" ($100 per… » 12/18/14 11:10am 12/18/14 11:10am

The Truth Is Out: You Will Never Have a 'Celebrity Body'

The fitness and tabloid industries make tons and tons of dough off the idea that if you can just find the right combo of Soul Cycle and kale chips and chia seed pudding and intentional living, YOU TOO can have Jennifer Aniston's exact abs. The truth, of course, is that you probably can't. You can only have YOUR abs. … » 8/07/14 4:20pm 8/07/14 4:20pm

Female Runner Who Uses Nike+ to Draw Dicks Is an American Hero

Most runners I know who are not also liars acknowledge that running sucks much (okay, most) of the time. Usually, I deal with how much I hate it by complaining about it to people who really, truly do not care. But one San Francisco woman has channeled that love-hate relationship into something beautiful: using the… » 8/05/14 4:00pm 8/05/14 4:00pm

New Fitness Bracelet Delivers Electric Shock if You Don't Work Out

Do you like jogging, but wish it was a little more like a Saw movie and/or dystopian nightmare in which thigh gaps have become the global currency? Well, today in horrible ideas: A new wearable fitness tracker that actually zaps users with an electric shock if they stop exercising will be hitting the market later this… » 7/24/14 5:45pm 7/24/14 5:45pm

The Biggest Loser Won't Show Fat People Kissing

The Biggest Loser has amassed millions of fans by forcing a bunch of very very overweight people to exercise until they puke, weighing them in front of everyone, and then repackaging their suffering as inspiration for a nation of other, similar very very overweight people. But it doesn't take many hours of Biggest… » 5/13/14 7:10pm 5/13/14 7:10pm

Teen Girl Does a Plank for a Record-Breaking Hour and 20 Minutes

If there's one iron-clad scientific fact I know, it's FUCK PLANK. For those of you who aren't fitness gurus like me, plank is this thing where you prop yourself up on your elbows and toes and then just hold still forever and ever until your core catches fire and devours you from the inside out. » 4/24/14 10:00am 4/24/14 10:00am