The Truth Is Out: You Will Never Have a 'Celebrity Body'

The fitness and tabloid industries make tons and tons of dough off the idea that if you can just find the right combo of Soul Cycle and kale chips and chia seed pudding and intentional living, YOU TOO can have Jennifer Aniston's exact abs. The truth, of course, is that you probably can't. You can only have YOUR abs. … » 8/07/14 4:20pm 8/07/14 4:20pm

Female Runner Who Uses Nike+ to Draw Dicks Is an American Hero

Most runners I know who are not also liars acknowledge that running sucks much (okay, most) of the time. Usually, I deal with how much I hate it by complaining about it to people who really, truly do not care. But one San Francisco woman has channeled that love-hate relationship into something beautiful: using the… » 8/05/14 4:00pm 8/05/14 4:00pm

New Fitness Bracelet Delivers Electric Shock if You Don't Work Out

Do you like jogging, but wish it was a little more like a Saw movie and/or dystopian nightmare in which thigh gaps have become the global currency? Well, today in horrible ideas: A new wearable fitness tracker that actually zaps users with an electric shock if they stop exercising will be hitting the market later this… » 7/24/14 5:45pm 7/24/14 5:45pm

The Biggest Loser Won't Show Fat People Kissing

The Biggest Loser has amassed millions of fans by forcing a bunch of very very overweight people to exercise until they puke, weighing them in front of everyone, and then repackaging their suffering as inspiration for a nation of other, similar very very overweight people. But it doesn't take many hours of Biggest… » 5/13/14 7:10pm 5/13/14 7:10pm

Teen Girl Does a Plank for a Record-Breaking Hour and 20 Minutes

If there's one iron-clad scientific fact I know, it's FUCK PLANK. For those of you who aren't fitness gurus like me, plank is this thing where you prop yourself up on your elbows and toes and then just hold still forever and ever until your core catches fire and devours you from the inside out. » 4/24/14 10:00am 4/24/14 10:00am

Don't Get Too Cocky, Thin People: 'Skinny Fat' Is Coming For You

This one's for the effortless thin. We all know a person like this: one who never goes to the gym, subsists on a diet of burgers slathered in cheeses and sauces and bacons and non-diet soda yet never gains a pound, who hates the gym because "it smells" and drinks like a parched fish. A person who, despite what she… » 3/10/14 6:00pm 3/10/14 6:00pm

I Did the World's First Ice Cream Cleanse: Yes, Really

Back during the no-carb diet craze of the early 2000s, I joked that I wanted to try a diet consisting of nothing but carbs and lipids. I would call it the Fatkins Diet. Guess what? I just did exactly that. I ate ice cream, and only ice cream, for four days straight. Yes, it's the world's first Ice Cream Cleanse, and… » 3/05/14 9:55pm 3/05/14 9:55pm

People Are Freaking Out Over 'Skeletal' Biggest Loser Winner

After this season's final contestant on the popular weight loss show The Biggest Loser confidently strode onstage last night, she was met with halting applause from the audience and looks of shock from the show's trainers. Rachel Frederickson, formerly 260lbs, now weighed in at 105 lbs. She'd won by losing 60% of her… » 2/05/14 11:30am 2/05/14 11:30am