Pregnant Women Should Maybe Eat More Tuna, Says FDA

"Should pregnant women eat more tuna?" asks the New York Times. I mean, it's something I think everyone has asked themselves from time to time, no? » 3/04/15 7:50pm 3/04/15 7:50pm

​Prehistoric Scottish Fish Responsible for the First Ever Sex Act

The next time you and your sex pal get your freak on, maybe take a moment to thank these ugly ancient fish for paving the way for sex hundreds of millions of years ago. I mean, you don't have to, but it's a nice gesture. » 10/20/14 7:00pm 10/20/14 7:00pm

Rotten Skate, South Korea's 'Smelliest Food,' Peels Your Mouth Skin Off

As a rule, I aim to be 100% nonjudgmental about other cultures' "weird" foods. Like, why the fuck shouldn't someone eat a roasted tarantula? I'd eat literally eight crabs right now. I would crack open their carapaces and use their own spiky toes to pick out their guts. A tarantula is basically the same thing, only… » 6/16/14 4:40pm 6/16/14 4:40pm

Sarah Palin Thinks You Should Hold A Fish In Your Photos, Ladies

America's greatest patriot ever, Sarah Palin, posted this advertisement for her upcoming crappy reality show to her Facebook page on Tuesday. And I happen to think it's sound advice! » 1/15/14 10:30pm 1/15/14 10:30pm

Swarm of Evil Fish Injures 70 Swimmers in Christmas Day Foot Attack

A species of piranha known as Pygocentrus palometa (maybe—"validity questionable," says Wikipedia) is reportedly responsible for a number of injuries to swimmers in Argentina on Christmas day. The area was experiencing a holiday heat wave, so people headed to the beach to cool off...and promptly got their toes chomped… » 12/26/13 6:00pm 12/26/13 6:00pm

Check Your Vertebrate Privilege: Cephalopods Are People, Too

Bet you terrestrial-centric bigots didn't realize it, but today just so happens to be Fish Amnesty Day, which is billed as "a day to recognize fish as living animals with rights and in need of protection just the same as other vertebrates.” » 9/28/13 5:00pm 9/28/13 5:00pm

Testicle-Munching Fish Are Ruining Summer for Scandinavians

Summer is full of the sorts of hidden dangers that come with being drunk and out in the hot sun for longer than usual. You could fall asleep in a wading pool and be urinated upon by your neighbor’s dog. A shark could attack you while you’re flipping around on your boogie board like a dying seal. You could wear a… » 8/11/13 4:00pm 8/11/13 4:00pm

If You’re Not Willing to Use Your Vagina as a Fishing Lure, You’re Not…

What happened to the Discovery Channel? Is the demand for majestic wildebeest documentaries really that low, or is the demand for reality shows featuring naked white people pooping outdoors in exotic locations really that high? It must be, otherwise we wouldn't be getting such a robust lineup of naked survivalist… » 4/07/13 5:30pm 4/07/13 5:30pm

Progressive Lady-Fish Think It's Totally Hot That You're Bi

Ugh, mating season. So much pressure to deposit your sperms in the fittest female's genital opening, amirite?!?!? Are you a dude-fish having no luck with the fly honeys in your area? Well, it might be because you're focusing too much on the ladies, and not enough on nipping erotically at the gennies of your bros.… » 12/13/12 12:55pm 12/13/12 12:55pm

Mexican Fish Penis Bears Terrifying Resemblance To Se7en's "Lust"…

Um! If any girlfish are reading this, please beware when you come across male freshwater llanos mosquitofish, otherwise known as Gambusia quadruncus. The evolution of the females of this Mexican species has given them a large ball of tissue that blocks most of their genital canal in order to allow them to keep away… » 9/29/12 2:40pm 9/29/12 2:40pm

Activists Want Tuna Taken Off School Lunch Menus After Mercury Levels…

Out of all the foods that could be full of neurotoxins and dolphin ghosts—why does it always have to be tuna? Delicious, delicious tuna. Tuna is a wonder-food that comes either in a can or in a fish. The canned kind is cheap, and is where tuna melts come from, which makes it a national treasure. The fish kind is… » 9/20/12 4:00pm 9/20/12 4:00pm

Here Are Some Fish That Look Like Dudes' Dicks

Before pressing play on the above video, do yourself a favor and take a moment to think about it. You could go the rest of your life having never seen a tank of wriggling fish that happen to look like detached, bloated and reanimated human penises. Would this be such a bad thing? Maybe not! Instead of watching the… » 7/18/12 3:40pm 7/18/12 3:40pm

Uh Oh: Radioactive Bluefin Tuna Appear on the Coast of California

This sounds like something out of a sci-fi movie, but, alas, it is real: There are now radioactive Bluefin tuna swimming off the shores of the United States. How did they get that way? It happened as a result of the nuclear disaster at the Fukushima Dai-ichi reactors that was set off after the huge earthquake in Japan… » 5/28/12 11:55pm 5/28/12 11:55pm

Your Vagina Isn't Just Too Big, Too Floppy, and Too Hairy—It's Also Too…

Good news, ladies! Society has discovered another new thing that's wrong with you, which means another opportunity for you to make yourself more attractive for your man. Score! Turns out, the color of your vagina is gross and everyone hates it. So bleach that motherfucker. Bleach it right now! » 4/11/12 12:40pm 4/11/12 12:40pm

A New Recipe for High Quality Semen

Women have been clued into the fact that their diets affect their fertility for a long while now, but a new study has found that what men are eating might matter just as much. The researchers found that the kinds of fat men ate made a difference in the quality of their sperm. For instance, saturated fat found in the… » 3/14/12 10:40am 3/14/12 10:40am

Science Says Eat Your Herring, Young Lady

A new study shows that eating fatty fish like salmon, mackerel, cod, and herring can cut heart attack and stroke risk in young women, even if their intake doesn't reach recommended daily levels. You've probably already heard that fish is good for your heart, but most studies focused on men or older women, so it's good… » 12/06/11 1:50pm 12/06/11 1:50pm

San Francisco Moves To Ban Pet Sales

San Francisco, which previously made headlines for its efforts to ban circumcision and plastic bags, may now forbid the sale of all pets. Unsurprisingly, pet store owners are mad. » 6/27/11 9:50am 6/27/11 9:50am