First Lady Inviting Ordinary People to Join Her For State of The Union
Are you sitting by your phone? Good, because it's possible that First Lady Michelle Obama is trying to reach you right now to invite you to sit in her box at tomorrow's State of the Union Address. She's asking ordinary citizens whose letters have touched her the chance to meet her and the president and her camp has…
So What if Obama Quit Smoking Because He's 'Scared' of His Wife?
Fire up the gaffe signal; the President said something unscripted! Yesterday, during an "hot mic" moment at the UN General Assembly, our Commander-In-Chief Barack Hussein Bengazi Obamacare Bailout Obama confessed to an official that he hasn't had a cigarette in six years because he's "scared" of his wife. Either…
Oops: Michelle Obama Accidentally Calls Herself a 'Busy Single Mother'
In an interview with CBS about the difficulty of maintaining proper family nutrition/your sanity when you have a hectic schedule, First Lady Michelle Obama proves her point when she refers to herself as a "busy single mother." It's so difficult that sometimes you forget important details like the fact that you're…
Enough With the First Lady Job Approval Polls
America's a pretty divided country when it comes to most political matters. Old white dudes are pretty upset that "traditional America" is no longer, young people of color are dismayed that old white dudes are still in charge, and Congress, as Congress is wont to do, is fucking up. But at least one Washington fixture…
China’s Communist Party Is Super Nervous About Having a Famous, Opera-Singing First Lady
China's carefully-orchestrated Communist Party musical, which is whimsically titled The 18th Communist Congress and contains neither music nor Hugh Jackman, will convene next month to name the country's imminent new president, Xi Jinping. Every detail has been scripted and rehearsed, but party leaders are still…
Wives of Presidential Candidates Are More Electable Than Actual Presidential Candidates
Last night, First Lady Michelle Obama blew everyone's hair back at the Democratic National Convention with a speech that pundits called "history-changing," and "dominating." The First Lady didn't come out swinging, she didn't go too deeply into policy, she spoke directly to the American people and vouched for her…
D.C. Police Officer Allegedly Threatens to Shoot The First Lady
A police officer in the District of Columbia's Special Operations Division, which is tasked with providing motor escorts for the First Family, was allegedly overheard telling his fellow officers that he was going to shoot First Lady Michelle Obama. Though details of the incident aren't yet clear, the department's…
Please Stop Bugging Michelle Obama About Running for Senate
She may have academic credentials that match her Commander-in-Chief husband, the popular appeal of Madeleine Albright circa 1999, and the fashion chops of Carla Bruni, but Michelle Obama wants to make it clear that she's not interested in running for Senate in 2016. In other news, people are already starting to badger…
MObama Prefers Comfy Fashions, Worries We'll See Her Underwear
The First Lady provided reporters with some insight into how she make her fashion choices, but unfortunately her tips aren't all that usable. Obama, who was wearing an outfit from Target at the time, said of her clothing:

