Malia Obama Is America's Next Rap Tastemaker 

Malia Obama, Known Teen, has been up to her USUAL SHIT: a selfie of the eldest Obama daughter wearing a Pro Era tee has surfaced (Gawker has more details about the photo's origins here), and everybody is mostly like, "good for Joey Bada$$." » 1/05/15 2:20pm 1/05/15 2:20pm

Sasha And Malia Obama Are OMG So Embarrassed By Their Dorky Dad

President Obama has revealed that his teen daughters are just as terrifying as regular-non-President's-daughter teens, but unlike regular teens, Sasha and Malia Obama are, like, IRL friends with Beyonce. Maybe we should send that trio to the really tough diplomatic negotiations. » 12/18/13 7:45pm 12/18/13 7:45pm

You Could Still Snag One of Sasha Obama's Super-Cute Sweaters

Last week, Sasha Obama appeared at a basketball game in a unicorn sweater from Asos. It promptly sold out, delivering a dangerous shock to the nation's strategic unicorn sweater reserve. » 11/27/13 7:00pm 11/27/13 7:00pm

Sasha Obama Causes Nationwide Unicorn Sweater Shortage

On Sunday, Sasha Obama wore a sweater with a unicorn on it to a basketball game. By Thursday, unicorn sweaters had gone extinct. (Is "extinct" the word for a sweater selling out? Maybe it should be.) » 11/21/13 2:30pm 11/21/13 2:30pm

President's New Puppy More Press-Friendly Than the President

So we're on the brink of maybe-war, it's not clear that anyone knows what they're doing, and to make matters worse, President Barack Obama still hasn't intervened in the tragedy that is the casting of the Fifty Shades of Grey movie. Luckily, Sunny, the First Family's adorable new pup, is here to do some damage control. » 9/11/13 1:00pm 9/11/13 1:00pm

Jerk Journalist Doesn't Give a Shit About Standards, Writes About Sasha…

Matthew Boyle, a "reporter" at, just yesterday penned an exclusive piece in which he abandons journalistic conventions as well as common decency by revealing the location of Sasha and Malia Obama's spring break. The first sentence of his article reads: "A source tipped Breitbart News off to the First… » 3/26/13 6:40pm 3/26/13 6:40pm

The White House Doesn't Want Bikini-Body Obsessed World Leering at…

Last week, President Barack Obama and his family were in Hawaii for their annual Christmas vacation. Photographers captured several moments of POTUS during the trip, including a jaunt to a shave ice shop and a golf outing. Some vacation shots, like this one, are actually released by the White House itself. But when a… » 1/08/13 12:50pm 1/08/13 12:50pm

Secret Service Exhausted by Massive Number of Death Threats Against…

Being the President is a much harder job than I CAN B PRESIDENT Barbie and the movie First Kid make it seem. In fact, one of the occupational hazards of the job are near-constant death threats. And — SURPRISE — the same President who inspires billboards more racist than a cartoon version of Birth of a Nation starring… » 11/26/12 5:00pm 11/26/12 5:00pm

President and First Lady Celebrate their 20th Anniversary With…

Tonight, the Mitt hits the fan when President Obama and Governor Romney face each other in a talking points slapfest we call a Presidential Debate for the first time this election season. But today's also another important date in the Obama family calendar: Barack and Michelle's 20th anniversary. To celebrate, the… » 10/03/12 6:30pm 10/03/12 6:30pm

Democrat or Republican, We Can All Agree That the Obama Girls Are the…

Now that it's election season, everyone wants to know: are you better off than you were four years ago? That's a complicated question. Here's an easier one: have Sasha and Malia grown from adorable little girls into beautiful and poised young women? Answer: a resounding YES! » 9/07/12 12:30pm 9/07/12 12:30pm

D.C. Police Officer Allegedly Threatens to Shoot The First Lady

A police officer in the District of Columbia's Special Operations Division, which is tasked with providing motor escorts for the First Family, was allegedly overheard telling his fellow officers that he was going to shoot First Lady Michelle Obama. Though details of the incident aren't yet clear, the department's… » 7/13/12 10:00am 7/13/12 10:00am

Please Stop Bugging Michelle Obama About Running for Senate

She may have academic credentials that match her Commander-in-Chief husband, the popular appeal of Madeleine Albright circa 1999, and the fashion chops of Carla Bruni, but Michelle Obama wants to make it clear that she's not interested in running for Senate in 2016. In other news, people are already starting to badger… » 5/29/12 7:00pm 5/29/12 7:00pm

First Dog Totally Photobombs Spanish Language News Broadcast

Univision reporter Adriana Arevalo became an unintentional witness to history today, as a shot in front of the White House just so happened to capture in it one of Bo Obama's many exuberant summits with the White House lawn. » 3/12/12 4:45pm 3/12/12 4:45pm

Michelle Obama Reveals the President Is Kind of Freaking Out About…

Michelle Obama is out promoting her Let's Move campaign, and it seems that with every media appearance she reveals yet another charming detail about the First Family. Today Rachael Ray asked her about whether Malia is dating yet. To her great credit, Michelle kept her lips sealed: » 2/01/12 10:35pm 2/01/12 10:35pm

The Obamas Go on an Adorable Family Outing

The first family from left, Sasha Obama, first lady Michelle Obama, President Barack Obama, and Malia Obama, walk together to the Corcoran Gallery of Art in Washington, Sunday, Jan. 29, 2012. (AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin) » 1/30/12 10:30pm 1/30/12 10:30pm

Marcus Bachmann Already Making Catty Comments About First Lady

Marcus Bachmann, who we know and love as Nonpresident Michele Bachmann's better half, has thrown down the gauntlet in a flame war with the First Lady. Oh, it is on like the deleted fascinator showdown scene from Paris is Burning. » 12/16/11 6:20pm 12/16/11 6:20pm

Obamas Present World's Least Awkward Family Photo

Today the White House released the Obamas' new family portrait, the first since 2009, and proved that a family can be so sweet and attractive that it almost makes you angry. No one in this picture is giving her sister a dirty look, sprouting a gnarly zit, or wearing an ill-fitting and hideous dress. Suddenly all of… » 12/15/11 11:47pm 12/15/11 11:47pm

First Lady Aims To Break World Jumping Jacks Record

Michelle Obama, in her spirited quest to convince America's children that exercise is more fun than Playstation, is now setting out to set an exercise world record, and she's asking people all around this crazy world of ours to help her. » 10/07/11 1:20pm 10/07/11 1:20pm

Michelle Obama Visits Secret Service Headquarters, Leaves Terrified

First Lady Michelle Obama recently visited the place where the First Family's Secret Service sausage is made and has left stricken by terror but overflowing with gratitude. Gratiterror? Territude? Either way, her emotions around the visit were complex. » 10/06/11 5:40pm 10/06/11 5:40pm