Malia Obama, Known Teen, has been up to her USUAL SHIT: a selfie of the eldest Obama daughter wearing a Pro Era tee has surfaced (Gawker has more details about the photo's origins here), and everybody is mostly like, "good for Joey Bada$$."

President Obama has revealed that his teen daughters are just as terrifying as regular-non-President's-daughter teens, but unlike regular teens, Sasha and Malia Obama are, like, IRL friends with Beyonce. Maybe we should send that trio to the really tough diplomatic negotiations.

Last week, Sasha Obama appeared at a basketball game in a unicorn sweater from Asos. It promptly sold out, delivering a dangerous shock to the nation's strategic unicorn sweater reserve.

On Sunday, Sasha Obama wore a sweater with a unicorn on it to a basketball game. By Thursday, unicorn sweaters had gone extinct. (Is "extinct" the word for a sweater selling out? Maybe it should be.)

So we're on the brink of maybe-war, it's not clear that anyone knows what they're doing, and to make matters worse, President Barack Obama still hasn't intervened in the tragedy that is the casting of the Fifty Shades of Grey movie. Luckily, Sunny, the First Family's adorable new pup, is here to do some damage control.

Matthew Boyle, a "reporter" at Breitbart.com, just yesterday penned an exclusive piece in which he abandons journalistic conventions as well as common decency by revealing the location of Sasha and Malia Obama's spring break. The first sentence of his article reads: "A source tipped Breitbart News off to the First…

Last week, President Barack Obama and his family were in Hawaii for their annual Christmas vacation. Photographers captured several moments of POTUS during the trip, including a jaunt to a shave ice shop and a golf outing. Some vacation shots, like this one, are actually released by the White House itself. But when a…

Being the President is a much harder job than I CAN B PRESIDENT Barbie and the movie First Kid make it seem. In fact, one of the occupational hazards of the job are near-constant death threats. And — SURPRISE — the same President who inspires billboards more racist than a cartoon version of Birth of a Nation starring…

The First Daughters made a relatively rare public appearance this weekend, pre-storm, looking beautiful and grown up.

Tonight, the Mitt hits the fan when President Obama and Governor Romney face each other in a talking points slapfest we call a Presidential Debate for the first time this election season. But today's also another important date in the Obama family calendar: Barack and Michelle's 20th anniversary. To celebrate, the…

Now that it's election season, everyone wants to know: are you better off than you were four years ago? That's a complicated question. Here's an easier one: have Sasha and Malia grown from adorable little girls into beautiful and poised young women? Answer: a resounding YES!

A police officer in the District of Columbia's Special Operations Division, which is tasked with providing motor escorts for the First Family, was allegedly overheard telling his fellow officers that he was going to shoot First Lady Michelle Obama. Though details of the incident aren't yet clear, the department's…

She may have academic credentials that match her Commander-in-Chief husband, the popular appeal of Madeleine Albright circa 1999, and the fashion chops of Carla Bruni, but Michelle Obama wants to make it clear that she's not interested in running for Senate in 2016. In other news, people are already starting to badger…

Univision reporter Adriana Arevalo became an unintentional witness to history today, as a shot in front of the White House just so happened to capture in it one of Bo Obama's many exuberant summits with the White House lawn.

Michelle Obama is out promoting her Let's Move campaign, and it seems that with every media appearance she reveals yet another charming detail about the First Family. Today Rachael Ray asked her about whether Malia is dating yet. To her great credit, Michelle kept her lips sealed:

The first family from left, Sasha Obama, first lady Michelle Obama, President Barack Obama, and Malia Obama, walk together to the Corcoran Gallery of Art in Washington, Sunday, Jan. 29, 2012. (AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin)

Marcus Bachmann, who we know and love as Nonpresident Michele Bachmann's better half, has thrown down the gauntlet in a flame war with the First Lady. Oh, it is on like the deleted fascinator showdown scene from Paris is Burning.