A Bump in the Wedding Road, a Financial Freakout

Everything is going great! will be my last words, just as they are for so many others—right before Satan’s pitchfork sails through the space between my back ribs, pierces my heart and lungs in one sanguine grab, and I am hauled away, bobbing like a chunk of sirloin on a kebab, down all the flights of stairs to hell,… »10/09/15 2:20pm10/09/15 2:20pm


Parents Now Expected to Need Loans For Kids' Preschool

Great idea alert! New York City mayoral candidate Christine Quinn would like to make education affordable to all, and thus wants to give upper middle class Manhattan parents the right to take out subsidized loans in order to pay for their children's pre-kindergarten & oh my god what even is this dumb country we live… »8/05/13 8:30pm8/05/13 8:30pm

Nearly All Girl Scouts Fear Going Broke Despite Big Cookie Bucks

It's hard not to trust the business acumen of a Girl Scout. As a group, they're tiny, well-organized, well-dressed and run a once-a-year racket with their cookie pushing, which, at $3.50 a box is nothing to scoff at. Still, a recent survey conducted by the Girl Scouts of the USA found that 88% of girls (not just… »4/17/13 4:30pm4/17/13 4:30pm

Regardless of Our Own Success, Nearly Half of American Women Fear Becoming Bag Ladies

You! High-powered woman! When you consider your biggest fears, what gets top billing? Death? Small spaces? Losing everything except a whole bunch of bags and becoming a bag lady? According to a recent survey, the chances of you responding "Oh, god — the bag lady one. Definitely the bag lady one" are much higher than… »3/28/13 2:50pm3/28/13 2:50pm

Holy Crap, Is Feminism Actually Working and Changing the World?!

Isn't it bizarre that not particularly long ago a whole bunch of women just assumed they'd grow up to be housewives? Wives! Just in a house! Wifing around! ALL THE TIME. This isn't news, I know, it's just what women of a certain class did. For years and years and years and years and years and years, the expectation… »1/29/13 1:30pm1/29/13 1:30pm

All of Your Slutty Halloween Costumes Are Costing Us Billions

It's almost Halloween! Time to spend all the money we earned in October to get half-naked and binge on shitty candy. Seems reasonable, I'm into it. And so is half the United States, apparently. According to the Washington Examiner, Americans spend over $8 billion (BILLION) dollars a year on Halloween crapola. That's… »10/22/12 9:30am10/22/12 9:30am

Life Isn't Fair for Wealthy Parents, Says Wealthy Mom

Everybody knows that raising a child is a more expensive way to live than, say, being childless—especially in a city. But just how costly is it? How much do you need to earn to do a decent job as a parent while still feeling like you have some financial breathing room? According to one woman, her $400k-a-year… »9/28/12 4:30pm9/28/12 4:30pm

It Costs More To Be A Financially-Illiterate Woman Than A Man

A survey by FINRA, the largest independent securities regulator in the US, has found that, overall, women pay higher interest rates on credit cards than men by .5%. The half a point may look small, but means that over the course of a lifetime, women could be paying as much as thousands of dollars more to borrow money… »9/22/12 4:30pm9/22/12 4:30pm

Ryan Lochte’s Mom Determined to Resolve Foreclosure without Her Son’s Olympic Treasure

Despite the fact that she and her ex-husband failed to make payments on a mortgage loan dating from 2007, Ike Lochte is determined not to rely on her son (or any of her other children) for financial assistance. A spokeswoman for the Steve and Ike Lochte — who filed for divorce in 2010 — explained that the Lochtes,… »8/06/12 12:40pm8/06/12 12:40pm

This Is How Much It Costs to Own a Vagina: An Itemized List

Given the national debate regarding birth control coverage, it's increasingly clear that many people have no idea how much it costs it to own a vagina — folks are getting up in arms about the idea that the pill could set uninsured women back about $1000 a year, but in the grand scheme of things, that's nothing. Do you »4/06/12 1:30pm4/06/12 1:30pm

Whitney Houston Tastefully Reported to Be 'Worth More Dead Than Alive'

In a story that's depressing for everyone involved, Good Morning America has learned that Whitney Houston was on the brink of financial ruin at the time of her passing with banks attempting to foreclose on two of her homes. Since her death, sales of her music have skyrocketed, amassing a multi-million dollar sum of… »2/15/12 11:20am2/15/12 11:20am

Grumpy Dude Believes Economy Would Be Even Worse If Women Were In Charge

George Simpson is married with 2 kids, has worked in public relations for nearly 40 years, and lives in that town in Connecticut where The Ice Storm was set. And boy, is he cranky! Mr. Simpson recently found out, in a column by Jim Gilmartin, that women (especially between 50 and 70 years of age) are the world's most… »1/06/12 6:00pm1/06/12 6:00pm

Adults Who Move In With Their Parents Are Ruining The Economy

Times are rough for adults who move back into their parents' house. In addition to personal feelings of failure, they have to deal with the ugly stereotype that grown ups only live in their childhood home because they need more room for their action figure collection and only mom knows how to properly microwave their… »11/17/11 1:01am11/17/11 1:01am