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New Fifty Shades Manuscript Allegedly Stolen in Dumbest Heist Ever

Because here in America we use every part of every franchise, like a frontierswoman slaughtering a hog, come June 18 E.L. James is planning to release Grey, which is Fifty Shades rewritten from Christian’s perspective. (June 18 is, of course, Christian’s birthday, but I’m sure you knew that already.) However, British… »6/10/15 12:00pm6/10/15 12:00pm

This Is Your Brain on the Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy 

Gleefully shitting on Fifty Shades of Grey became its own pastime as soon as the books started climbing up bestseller lists. But as easy as it is to lambast a trilogy of books written from the standpoint of a sexual idiot savant with a fifth-grade reading level, there's something smarmy and inauthentic about knocking… »2/12/15 11:50am2/12/15 11:50am

DIY Store Braces for Fifty Shades-Induced Questions About Rope 

Employees at a chain of British DIY stores are being encouraged to flip through Fifty Shades of Grey and get ready to field relevant questions from curious customers, and managers "need to be aware of the implications that the film may have on stock levels." This is probably the most exciting thing to hit hardware… »2/09/15 10:30am2/09/15 10:30am

​Old Fashioned, the Christian Alternative to Fifty Shades, Has a Trailer

When filmmaker Rik Swartwelder decided he was going to make a movie that would resurrect the idea of chivalry in love, he knew he had some tough competition—namely the adaptation to the fastest selling paperback book of all time, Fifty Shades of Grey. But Swartwelder is up for the challenge, comparing his film to the… »11/15/14 5:00pm11/15/14 5:00pm

Studio Brass Mull Releasing Super Gross NC-17 Cut of Fifty Shades Film

If you were worried that the theatrical release of Fifty Shades of Grey couldn't possibly do the source material (lol) justice, some good news: the film's producer hinted today that there may be two versions of the film released — a regular-ass R-rated version to which you can take your father-in-law or precocious… »11/15/13 7:15pm11/15/13 7:15pm

Fifty Shades Auditions Reel Was Heavy on the Comedic Mismatches

If only Christoph Waltz really had auditioned for and been cast as Christian Grey, we’d have all the proof we needed to know that the universe is lorded over by an omnipotent being (probably a platypus) that takes a special interest in casting decisions on movies made about erotica bestsellers. Waltz would be so… »10/06/13 5:30pm10/06/13 5:30pm

At Long Last, Porn Is Getting Its Very Own Academic Journal

Smutty doodles, nudie pixxx, and elaborately-staged sex shows were important way before the Internet, but the Internet greatly facilitates the dissemination (te-he-he) of porn, so it only makes sense that academics have decided that the world can no longer do without an academic journal (that no one will ever read)… »5/02/13 8:35pm5/02/13 8:35pm

Fifty Shades of Making It Rain at Random House: E.L. James Is Singlehandedly Saving the Publishing Industry

Not only was E.L. James' cult sadomasochistic masterwork Fifty Shades of Grey far and above the bestselling Random House title this year, it single-handedly helped keep Random House parent company Bertelsmann maintain overall group profit levels despite stagnant conditions in its TV, magazine, and music publishing… »3/26/13 3:50pm3/26/13 3:50pm

Anonymous Says It's Confirmed That Emma Watson Will Be the Big-Screen Anastasia Steele We All Deserve

In her ongoing effort to scrub the adorable residue precocious witch Hermione Granger left all over her acting career, Emma Watson may end up portraying Anastasia Steele, the heroine of a contemporary classic in the annals (heh) of erotic fiction, on the big screen. Or so says the reinvigorated Fifty Shades of… »3/15/13 12:00pm3/15/13 12:00pm

Meet the Grump Who's Married to Fifty Shades of Grey's E.L. James

Everyone, meet Niall Leonard. Niall Leonard, meet everyone. You've probably never heard of Niall before, but chances are that you know his wife, Fifty Shades of Grey poetess E.L. James. A fellow writer, Leonard has acted as James' proof reader throughout the early developments of the Fifty Shades series and has also… »9/10/12 12:00pm9/10/12 12:00pm