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Fetus's Lawyer Convinces Judge to Confine Drug-Free Pregnant Woman

Once upon a few months ago, in a horrible dark land called Wisconsin, a woman who was 14-weeks pregnant confessed to her doctor that in the previous year, she'd battled— and recently kicked— an addition to pills. But her doctor didn't believe her, so he told authorities. And under the justification of a surprisingly… » 10/24/13 11:15pm 10/24/13 11:15pm

Worst State Fair Ever Has Squishy Fetus Toys for Unsuspecting Kids

Want a squishy toy fetus with your corn dog? If you're visiting the North Dakota State Fair, you're in luck! Last weekend, local anti-choice advocates slipped soft fetal models into kids' candy bags without parental permission during the fair's gigantic parade. "I don't know exactly where I stand on abortion," one… » 7/24/13 11:20am 7/24/13 11:20am

Heads Up, Dudes: You Have Nipples Because Every Single One of You Used…

Okay, fine, some people prefer to call this early in-utero period as one without sex, but if you want to be technical about it, the early stages embryonic development are courtesy of the X chromosome. Granted, if an embryo has a Y chromosome, it's there from the moment of conception — but Mr. Y doesn't lift a finger… » 1/10/13 12:05pm 1/10/13 12:05pm

Arizona Congressman Who Proposed DC Abortion Ban Gets Hilarious Payback…

Trent Franks, the Arizona Republican who proposed a 20-week abortion ban in Washington, DC and then barred DC's pro-choice female delegate Eleanor Holmes Norton from speaking out against the measure has a new problem on his hands: a flood of DC residents who are bringing their municipal complaints directly to the… » 5/23/12 9:15pm 5/23/12 9:15pm

Oklahoma's Personhood Amendment Ruled 'Clearly Unconstitutional' By…

It's less terrible day than usual to be a uterus (or, if you want to get technical, "woman," or "baby holder") in the West South Central United States today. Earlier, a federal judge ruled that Texas' law to exclude Planned Parenthood from its Women's Health Program was unconstitutional. And now, like a frustrated dad… » 4/30/12 5:40pm 4/30/12 5:40pm

Pro-Choice People Dream of a World Where All Babies Are Aborted, Says…

Just as zombies crave the delicious chewy flesh of the human brain, so too do pro-abortion rights people crave nothing more than to abort the shit out of every pregnancy. We're like hormonal teenagers. We'll abort anything that walks. All day we dream about abortion. At least, according to Mississippi Governor and… » 4/25/12 3:40pm 4/25/12 3:40pm

New Tennessee Law That Criminalizes Harming Embryos Couldn't Possibly…

Earlier this week, the Tennessee state Senate offered its near-unanimous approval to a measure that would make it a crime to harm a fetus at any point in a woman's pregnancy, including before 6 weeks' pregnancy when a fetus is actually technically called an "embryo." Proponents of the bill claim that it has nothing to… » 4/25/12 10:40am 4/25/12 10:40am

How in the Hell are We Supposed to Grant Fertilized Eggs Constitutional…

The state legislatures of Virginia and Oklahoma have continued to embarrass their reasonable constituents this week by passing legislation that defines fertilized eggs as "persons" eligible for the same rights as normal humans that aren't multicelled, consciousless globs. Framers of Personhood bills believe that their… » 2/16/12 5:30pm 2/16/12 5:30pm

Fun-Hating Legislator Proposes Ban on Eating Aborted Human Fetuses

Let's take a moment today to salute a brave American hero. A man who saw through the amoral haze of today's society and who had the courage to stand up for what's right, even in the face of an unstoppable tide of modernity and vice. That man is Oklahoma legislator Ralph Shortey. And that fearless act of bravery was… » 1/25/12 2:00pm 1/25/12 2:00pm

The Flaming Lips Release New Songs Inside Gummy Fetus

The latest release from The Flaming Lips isn't available for purchase as a CD, up for download online, or even being sold on vinyl. Three new Lips songs are being released inside of an almost life-sized gummy fetus with a USB drive shoved inside of it. Progressive, gross, or just plain weird? And why do rock stars… » 7/26/11 6:02pm 7/26/11 6:02pm

Fetus To "Testify" In Support Of Ohio Heartbeat Bill

A fetus is scheduled to "speak" before the legislature in support of the so-called "Heartbeat Bill" to ban abortions as early as 18 days after conception, or as soon as a heartbeat can be detected. According to the AP, a pregnant woman will go before the committee beside a color projection of her ultrasound. No word… » 3/01/11 10:03am 3/01/11 10:03am