It is physically impossible for me to love a story with that headline any more than I already do.
A McDonald’s employee and a customer were engaged in a fight through the restaurant’s drive-thru, and each has a differing account of what happened. Guess whose account appears to be the more accurate one?
It’s not often enough that the universe throws us a story about a corporation suffering under the heel of delicious irony. I am happy to report that today, it has done so.
HOW DARE YOU, MCDONALD’S CHINA?! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US?! HOW COULD YOU INFLICT THIS UNCEASING HORROR UPON THE EYES AND SOULS OF GOOD AND DECENT FOLK?! THIS ABOMINATION; THIS CREEPING, SHUDDERING NIGHT TERROR GIVEN FORM; THIS BLEAK, JOY-EVISCERATING GRAYNESS! DESCRIBING AND ADVERTISING WRONG-COLORED FOOD IS THE…
Oh, come on; who hasn’t thought about stripping their clothes off in a Subway and tearing the place apart? GLASS HOUSES.
An Indiana Subway franchise is being sued in federal court by the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission for firing an employee for being HIV-positive. Stay classy, Indiana.
If we were handicapping which fast food restaurant was going to be responsible for something like this, KFC would have to have been even money.
If that’s not a quintessentially American headline, I don’t know what is.
So, your employer is now represented in the minds of the public by an alleged pedophile. He doesn’t technically work for the company any more, but that doesn’t change the fact that his face is everywhere on store iconography. What to do?
No currently-legal profession takes more public crap for demanding to be treated like human beings than food service workers. Here’s how and why every single argument against them is complete horseshit.
Today in really fucked-up restaurant customer behavior: this.
If you know your argument that restaurant owners universally revile the idea of an increased minimum wage is complete bullshit, that’s still OK! You can just make shit up, as one of the main restaurant industry lobbyists recently did.
There is a man who, through repeated experimentation, figured out how to get a bigger Chipotle burrito without paying more. Several of you have emailed me about how terrible he is, and ordinarily, I’d be all over that. Just one problem, though: absolutely nothing he suggests is terrible in any way.
Nachos are awesome; on that, I believe we can all agree. They are somewhat less awesome when you have to pick a press-on nail out of them, though.
Look, I’m mad about the fact that McDoubles cost $1.29 now, too, but some things are just too far.
I mean, the throes of meth addiction probably do count as “animal-style,” so it wasn’t exactly false advertising.
Surprise, surprise! A new study points out that were the US to adopt a $15 minimum wage, the price of a Big Mac would rise by...*drumroll*...22 cents.
“Hey, you know what you should try? Ordering off the SECRET MENU, bro. Like, ask for a McChicken, but instead of the chicken, get them to put, like, a McFlurry on there! #lifehack #yolo #iamlungcancerinhumanform”