Giving new meaning to the Happy Meal (HAR), a 58-year-old New Mexico man was arrested last week after he paid a sex worker in food from McDonalds. Sorry, all I can think of is Wendy on Breaking Bad.

Gooooooooo America! Some countries might be all, "Pooh pooh, I dew nut allow my cheezbeurgueur quotient to rise abeuve 5% beceuze I am tew beezay eating verrrry small miniateure cheeckens and plump oleeves straight frem de vine!" (That's my "other country" accent. I'm really good at it.) But America is like, "Oh, whatever,…

Today, Chick-fil-A's famously homophobic owners released a statement announcing that the fast food chain would no longer be donating money to anti-gay groups. Victory, right? We totally win, right?! Not really. Regardless of whether the Chick-fil-A brass are contributing to a camp that uses Jesus to turn homos into…

Micky D's is getting a jump on a national requirement that big restaurant chains post their menu items' caloric content. Starting Monday, whenever you walk, sashay, cartwheel, tap dance, mosey, crawl, or languidly roll beneath the golden arches, you'll be confronted by some cold, hard truths: single McDonald's food…

Neat! Remember when everyone went gaga about calories and health and so all the fast food chains scrambled to invent some hella gross wilty cheese-covered "salads" and gave kids the option of having apples and walnuts instead of fries with their 8,000-calorie cheeseburgers? (Health crisis solved!) Well, turns out…

Bigots in New Hampshire are going to have to find a way to support limited rights fer the queerz — the manager of the state's only Chick-fil-A has announced that unlike his parent company's CEO, he's just fine with gay people. So fine, in fact, that he'll continue to be a sponsor the state's gay pride festival so all…

All this time we ladies thought going to McDonald's and ordering a burger and downing it with some fries was really turning the guys on, which is obviously why we all went there in the first place. But it looks like we have been terribly mistaken. Our milkshakes might in fact be driving boys from the yard Playland—at…

It used to be that you had to drive to a fast food restaurant, park your car, and walk all the way inside to order. Then came the advent of the drive-thru, and it became all the more easy to say, yes, in fact, I would like fries with that. And now, finally, the last barrier between you and a giant, gooey manufactured…

Don't let Wendy's impress you with its "Baconator" hamburger. While we only get to choose how many beef patties we want on the troublingly named Dave's Hot 'N Juicy burger, the chain is saving the good stuff for customers in Japan. Two years after leaving the country, the company has opened a new restaurant in Tokyo,…

Two separate incidents of questionable requests at fast food restaurants have led for renewed calls from the nation's lazy, horny potheads for diversified services at burger joints.