Let’s be real: everyone loves to fart and hates to exercise. That’s why so many of us were excited by the recent news that farting could potentially make you lose weight! “I fart all day,” we all thought, “I could be a size two by Christmas.” Too bad it was all a beautiful shit-smelling lie.
Peter Walters of Pendleton, Oregon is furious. Last week, his fair city passed an amendment which bans marijuana odor, citing it as a nuisance. That’s fine and all, but Walters is concerned that the city isn’t doing enough to curb another important problem: Gross farts that cover Pendleton like a cloud of…
Good news, patriots! YOUR BUTTS HAVEN'T BEEN DOING ALL THAT HARD WORK FOR NOTHING. According to researchers at the University of Exeter, smelling reasonable amounts of hydrogen sulfide gas—i.e. FARTS—might actually prevent cancer.
Were you farting in Seattle this weekend? Well, the maybe love of your life is looking for you.
HILARIOUS ALERT: Husbands loves to fart almost as much as wives love to nag!
Author and artist MariNaomi sketches out the thoughts of anyone who has ever done downward dog or downward doggie style. (Sorry for "downward doggie style" — I have no idea what any sex positions are called.) (Except for the "Spaghetti noodle man", and I can say no more about that.)
This is a clever — if most likely completely ineffective — ad effort from Ontario Ministry of Health's "Quit the Denial" campaign that aims to get folks to stop smoking. Obviously, the idea is that the woman is in total denial that her flatulence is a problem — after all, she only does it socially! The ad is funny…
A Food Network chef, who describes himself as "somewhat famous," allegedly posted a rant&rave on Craigslist to share a delightful personal victory more than four years in the making: since January 21st, 2008, he has been engaged in the project of farting on everyone of his kitchen employees. Audibly and sensorially…
In Teen Vogue's December/January issue, Lea Michele insists kissing Cory Monteith on Glee isn't awkward at all...but it is smelly: "We're such good friends that we've passed that level of weirdness. Cory farts in front of me."
Want to give your significant other a thoughtful gift that says "you fart a lot?" Try the Better Marriage Blanket, which uses military technology and retails for $119.85! Talk about asymmetric warfare. [Videogum]
Last night on The Late Late Show, Craig Ferguson admitted to Tim Robbins that he farted on the Desperate Housewives at the Emmys... but only because Susan Sarandon made him do it. Clip at left.
So basically, Charm School awards $100,000 to the woman most willing to stop making good reality TV.
