The Fool-Proof Guide to Banging During Your Family Gathering

Here is a truth most universal: Nothing makes sex more appealing than a situation where it's totally inconvenient, making Thanksgiving the ideal time for furtive and risky sexcapades. But with family obligations and creaky beds, what's a person to do? Here's our guide to sneaking around on Turkey Day. » 11/26/14 1:10pm 11/26/14 1:10pm

The Things We Suffer

It's a Thursday night in August, just past 10 p.m., and my mother is texting me. This might seem like a harmless nuisance except my mother is not supposed to text me. Two years ago I asked her to give me space and not reach out. She responded with an "ok" and proceeded to respect my wishes for 13 days. Nobody's mother… » 9/09/14 3:13pm 9/09/14 3:13pm

What to Do on Christmas When You Don't Celebrate It

Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year—unless you're like me and don't celebrate it. Then you're stuck with a world mostly shut down and seemingly nothing to do. Fortunately you have quite a few options, whether you're along or with friends, to make December 25th a fun day off regardless of your observances. » 12/24/13 4:18pm 12/24/13 4:18pm

Liz Cheney's Sisterly Homophobia Ruins the Cheney Family Thanksgiving

Liz Cheney — daughter of Dick and current U.S. senate candidate — has recently lost the support of her own sister Mary after publicly denouncing Mary's gay lifestyle on Fox News Sunday. In a desperate bid to win over Wyoming's Tea Party and far right voters, Liz Cheney (who, as of this month, is trailing 52-points… » 11/18/13 2:50pm 11/18/13 2:50pm

Poll Reveals America Thinks Women Should Have Babies By Age 26

Sometimes, as a woman, I find myself adrift on a rudderless sea of indecision bereft of the opinions of others weighing in on my conduct. How should I dress? Should I be thin or what? Should I do anything to my face to make it look different? How should I conduct myself sexually? How should I age? When should I talk?… » 11/11/13 6:00pm 11/11/13 6:00pm

Sharing Someone Else's Pain: A Question of Tact via David Sedaris

David Sedaris penned a fantastic piece in The New Yorker about the suicide death of his youngest sister, Tiffany. In it, he talks about Tiffany's slow descent into depression by way of horrific living conditions and mental illness. This is framed, interestingly, by a family vacation he paid for shortly after her death. » 10/21/13 9:00pm 10/21/13 9:00pm

Most Women Would Rather Kick Their Husbands to the Curb Than Be a…

Whuddya know! Women actually appreciate the opportunity to have a career, make money and support their families. In fact, they like it so much that, for the most part, they're not too willing to go back to a time when pretty much their only option was to become an unpaid house-cleaning, child-rearing, blowjob machine.… » 2/04/13 7:00pm 2/04/13 7:00pm

Kids With Happy Supportive Families Probably Grow Up to Have Happier…

Today in "Yes, I Guess That Makes Sense," new research shows that kids with happy and supportive families generally grow up to have more successful marriages than kids who don't. "The overall family climate seems to matter," says Robert Ackerman, a psychologist at the University of Texas at Dallas who authored the… » 2/01/13 12:00pm 2/01/13 12:00pm

Mother-Daughter Porn Duo Insist There's 'Nothing Sexual' About What…

Jessica and Monica are mother and daughter. They are both adult film actresses. They have teamed up, professionally. They engage in nude embraces. They shoot sex scenes together. They do two-on-one. They take turns sucking the same dick. They watch each other orgasm (or pretend to orgasm). But they swear that what… » 1/02/13 2:50pm 1/02/13 2:50pm

Elderly Chinese Parents Can Now Take their Adult Children to Court for…

Today, China's national legislature passed a new law that, once enacted, will require citizens to visit their elderly parents "often," or go to court. This law is so, so ripe for 1980's style stand up jokes about mothers in law, or a very special episode of Married... With Chidren where someone gets bumped on the head… » 12/28/12 7:10pm 12/28/12 7:10pm

Want Your Kids to Enjoy Healthy Food? Eat at the Damn Table

Congratulations to family units with enough time, money, and skill to eat dinner at the table, you are officially raising kids who will learn to love mother nature's bounty. Now, the rest of you —the family units who don't? Congratulations for raising kids who will learn to love Mars Incorporated's Bounty chocolate… » 12/20/12 9:45am 12/20/12 9:45am