Let's List the Most Satisfying School Supplies

It feels like fall today, and fall will always feel like school supplies: rows of three-hole punch binders with 10-tabbed separates, unscuffed erasers, Sanrio Spotty Dotty pencil bags. Those were my weaknesses, along with Kipling backpacks (those overpriced gorillas were so cool at my high school for reasons I still… » 9/04/13 5:10pm 9/04/13 5:10pm

Get Ready To "Tenderly" Fuck All Autumn, Suggests Biology

Guys! Today is the autumnal equinox, and although it's been fabled since the days of Annette Funicello beach romp movies that summer is the time for having all the fun and doing all the sexing, research has found that the fall is actually the Season of Fuck. Sorry, I meant the Season of Tender Caressing and Lovemaking. » 9/22/12 2:30pm 9/22/12 2:30pm

Highly Stoned Mom Leaves Her Baby on the Car Roof and Drives Off

We've all been so worried about bath salts, but maybe we really ought to be more concerned about marijuana because it's to blame for one of the more horrifying parenting fails in recent memory. It happened in Phoenix, Arizona, this weekend when a very stoned 19-year-old mother named Catalina Clouser set her baby on… » 6/03/12 8:00pm 6/03/12 8:00pm

Dad Is World’s Worst Ski Instructor


Hey, dude, your kid is flying out of control down the hill. Maybe you should stop screaming, "PIZZA! PIZZA! Do a Pizza!" at him and, you know, actually explain what a "pizza" is. Or, better yet, put the camera away, and ski over to help him. Just a totally chill thought for you, man. Also, after he has wiped out and… » 3/04/12 11:00pm 3/04/12 11:00pm

Family Gets Lost In Corn Maze, Calls 911

On Monday night a family got so lost inside a 7-acre cornfield maze in Danvers, Massachusetts that they had to call the police to rescue them. The couple was still trapped in the maze at Connors Farm an hour after closing, and when it started getting dark they called the police. The mother told the 911 dispatcher, "I… » 10/12/11 9:30am 10/12/11 9:30am