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Expensive Shit

news roundup

I'm Sure Claude Would Be Flattered And All, But $80 Million Is Almost What Afghanistan Made On Its Heroin Tax

  • Some anonymous collector just bought this Monet for $80.4 million from the kids of some famous collectors from Columbus, Indiana. No really, I thought it was a mistake too, but there really is a Columbus, Indiana, and before they died the couple who amassed this insane art collection were like the hipster royal family there. [NYT]
  • A Druze border policeman killed himself in Israel while Sarkozy was watching and the family is asking that his name not be released, but like, I kind of think it's a little late for that. [Haaretz]
  • I'm not saying we should adopt all Afghanistan's policies but $100 million just from taxing shit most countries pay hundreds of billions criminalizing sounds pretty tempting…[BBC
  • Obama is polling creepily well right now, which makes me nervous, but can you blame the voters when McCain is out there straight-talking about how his offshore drilling ideas are kind of cheap psychological tricks? [MSNBC]
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expensive shit

Kira Plastinia: The Last Pointless 15-Year-Old Rich Person I Ever Want To Read About

“I think teenagers are all the same everywhere,” says Kira Plastinia, a 15-year-old Russian, and "wrinkles her nose." Kira is apparently the Miley Cyrus meets Mary Kate Olsen of the former Soviet Republics; her dad, an orange juice mogul, bought her a a clothing line, and a signature shade of pink, and Paris Hilton's number, and a horse named Baloven — meaning "someone who is spoiled and treated too well" — and now a store in Manhattan, which has inspired a profile in New York Magazine. Wait, am I really burdening you with this information? Do we really have such a dearth of the great global wealth concentration's photogenic beneficiaries over here? Over the weekend I was dutifully forcing myself to read the NY Times' review of a book called Bringing Home The Birkin, which chronicles the quest of an eBay Power Seller to land one of the coveted Hermes bags. "What is a Birkin bag and why on earth should I care?" demands editor Sam Tanenhaus of the book's critic, T: The New York Times Style Magazine editor Christine Muhlke, on the Review's weekly podcast. More »

Expensive Shit With all the shit you put on your face did you ever think about putting actual shit on your face? Apparently some people do. A spa in New York City offers a $180 "Geisha Facial" that includes one special ingredient: bird poop. Nightingale droppings have been used for centuries in Japan by Geisha and Kabuki dancers to take off their stage makeup and remove wrinkles. But isn't $180 a bit much to have someone rub shit on your face — and take away a bit of your dignity while they are doing it? The answer is yes! Especially considering we found it for less than 20 bucks online. [Reuters, Chidoriya]

fashion show

Sex And The City Lingerie: I'm Just Not That Into It

A not-so-shocking prediction: Sex and the City: The Movie is going to be as much (if not more) about shilling expensive shit as it is about sex. In addition to the myriad of product placement opportunities it affords mainstream marketers, the film has inspired a new collection of Cosabella lingerie said to be designed around each one of the HBO series' main characters. Thing is, I see no connection between the creations and the SATC ladies; in fact, of all of them, the "Samantha" collection is the most sophisticated and tasteful of the bunch. After the jump, let's get stupid and play the "which SATC character are you" game with a batch of undergarments! More »

maghag

Parenting Author, Childless Woman Weigh In On Baby Couture

Behold Baby Couture, the snotty new magazine with the slogan, "We put the 'coo' in couture." Poor, poor rich mommies! They've always wanted a publication they can call their own, that's filled with overpriced items perfect for pampering their spawn — and clearly not for mere commoners who shop at Babies R Us. Baby Couture delivers. I've got no kids of my own, so I asked Pamela Paul, mother-of-two and author of the new book Parenting, Inc.: How We Are Sold on $800 Strollers, Fetal Education, Baby Sign Language, Sleeping Coaches, Toddler Couture, and Diaper Wipe Warmers — and What It Means for Our Children for some insight. After the jump, Pamela and I give gut-reaction impressions to pages of the magazine. More »

rag trade

Gwen Stefani Wants You To Smell Like A Doll

  • Gwen Stefani's soon-to-be-released Harajuku Lovers fragrance collection comes with dolls that look just like her own Harajuku girl back-up dancers. WTF. [WWD, sub req'd]
  • OMG is Britney Spears going to "collaborate" on a clothing line with Ed Hardy? Like whoah. [Star]
  • The newest Donatella-designed Versace watch retails for $226,800. Says Donatella: "Women don't really need a watch to tell time today — they have their cell phones and BlackBerries." You heard it straight from the horse's mouth: It's expensive shit you don't need. [WWD, 1st item]
  • Why does making your own deodorant actually sound like fun? [BellaSugar]
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fashion victims

Fug Footwear: A Step In The Wrong Direction

"What do you think of these?" I asked my boyfriend, showing him an image of the It Shoes of the season, the Prada sandal platforms that, according to a story on hideous heels in today's New York Observer, look "like the work of someone on acid, or at least weed". "I dunno," replied boyfriend. "Guys don't notice shoes." Women, however, do, which is why it is so very odd that this season's most-talked about accessories are the ugliest expensive shit you ever saw. So why are women shelling out the big bucks for things that might turn you to stone for looking at them, if you don't break your back walking in them? Are ugly and overpriced shoes the latest ploy by retailers to create a wealthy elite? More »

exclusive!

Who Actually Buys Bottega Veneta? We Ask A Girl Who Actually Owns One!

There is a totally made-up story in today's New York Times about Bottega Veneta. You know Bottega. They make those basketweave-y leather bags. Unless you don't know Bottega, in which case now you know the source of all the noxious superiority fumes whenever you're in the realm of one of the carriers of one of those basketweavy bags. Well, here's the "trend": The idea is that Bottega's bags are getting popular because they are more "understated" than flashy Louis Vuitton bags, and people are sick of logos. You know, the basketweave, it is not quite like a logo. No one knows where it's from. Until they do. And then they recognize it everywhere they see it. So it's like a logo, but subtler. Plus, you can't knock it off! So people know you spent a lot of money. Sort of like with a logo, if all the people who stole other people's logos were rounded off and thrown in Guantanamo Bay like God intended. Seriously though. I have known about Bottega since 2006, when I took a press trip to Hong Kong, on which a publicist was hellbent on acquiring a knockoff...Bottega Veneta.
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rag trade

Is Anna Wintour Taking Money From Charity To Pay Amy Linehouse?

  • Does Anna Wintour love Amy Winehouse even more than Karl Lagerfeld does? Word on the street is that the singer who wouldn't go to rehab only to go to rehab has been offered $1 million to play at the Wintour-hosted Costume Institute Gala. But a rep says that can't be true since the Costume Institute Gala is supposed to be, you know, a benefit. For the children probably! [WWD, 1st item]
  • Some outfit called the New Enthusiasm is spoofing Marc Jacobs and Juergen Teller, the guy who shoots all those ads of his, with John McEnroe and Bjorn Borg, and now everyone is wondering what could possibly be the motive behind such a peculiar stunt. We have no earthly idea! That is why we present you with this hyperlink, so you can further ponder what it all means. [Sassybella]
  • Anya Hindmarch's London flagship was burgled last night, the second robbery the store has experienced in the past year. Can you think of a handbag designer whose inventory you would covet less than Anya's? Because I'm having trouble. [Vogue UK]
  • Oh god, you know, just when this industry's political statements could not get any more absurd: Agent Provacateur's "Fair Trial My Arse" underwear. [Sassybella]
  • Also, the rumors aren't true: Katie Homes is not designing for Armani. [E!]
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sux in the city

Sex And The City Really Is Full Of (Expensive) Shit

Question: Is Sex and the City in on the joke? According to WWD, in the upcoming film version of the HBO series, Carrie Bradshaw questions her assistant (played by Jennifer Hudson) about just how she affords a slew of designer accessories on an assistant's salary. [I'd like to see the assistant ask the same thing of Carrie 'I'm a writer in New York' Bradshaw. -Ed.] The assistant's answer? The bag-renting website Bag, Borrow, or Steal. Our answer? Sex and the City is not in on the joke — it's just found another way to land a corporate sponsor! And clearly, striking some strategic branding deals with fashion designers in exchange for costuming credits wasn't good enough. More »

rag trade

Holy Itshay, What Is That Big Black Man Doing On The Cover Of Vogue?!

  • Gisele appears on the cover of the April Vogue with...Lebron James. This is may seem like an historic event on par with, say, a black president, but that would belie how far we've come as a nation, revealed by the dead-first comment reacting to the news on our brother blog Deadspin: "That cover would have been much more fantastic if he had been dressed a la Andre french vogue. Oh Anna, Anna, Anna." Our take: Lebron probably exercises more influence over footwear and apparel sales than Anna Wintour and Gisele and Karl Lagerfeld combined. If Vogue really wanted to think outside the (heh) box, they'd make over Lebron's mom. [Deadspin]
  • Christian Siriano update: found backers for his clothing line, had a fit meeting with Victoria Beckham yesterday, taping Leno tonight, and is slated for an Ugly Betty cameo. Surely nothing like this could end in anticlimax and obscurity? [WWD, 2nd item]
  • Karl Lagerfeld on the just-opened Chanel Mobile Art pavillion: "It's a building, but also an object at the same time. It's like a sculpture you can walk in." [WWD, sub req'd]
  • Reese Witherspoon is the face of the new U by Ungaro fragrance, being licensed by Avon. Do you care? You so care, don't you. [WWD, sub req'd]
More »

rag trade

Newly-Engaged Daniel Craig Sobs For His Suits

  • "It's really a crime - it makes me weep every time." Daniel Craig, on having to get his Tom Ford suits dirty while filming James Bond movies. [Vogue UK]
  • Blind item! "Which aging actress was the celebrity guest for a fashion function and made the moves on the company's powerful and handsome - but married - CEO? The company no longer works with her." [Page Six]
  • Looks like ELLE International Creative Director Gilles Bensimon is on the masthead in name only; though Bensimon has historically shot every cover in the history of the American fashion magazine, his services were not needed for its upcoming April and May covers. Incidentally, Bensimon's contract is up come December. Any bets on whether they'll continue to keep him on the payroll? [WWD, 1st item]
  • OMG the designs from this season's Project Runway [Yes, I'll be liveblogging the finale tonight] are up for auction online! [Fashion Week Daily]
More »

rag trade

Keith Richards For Louis Vuitton: Old And Leathery

  • Keith Richards for Louis Vuitton = Awesome. [WWD, sub req'd]
  • Amy Winehouse played a Fendi party in Paris and talked about her mumps onstage before offering some gratitude to, like, someone: "Thanks for asking me to play. Whoever asked me to play." [WWD, sub req'd]
  • Meta Kate Olsen came dressed as Karl Lagerfeld for the Chanel show Friday. [WWD, 4th item]
  • Miss J (Alexander of Top Model) to WaPo fashion critic Robin Givhan on a Nina Ricci model: "She has that hungry walk. She's mad because she's so hungry!" [Off the Runway]
  • Formerly anorexic model Crystal Renn on why a girl's gotta eat: "How can you be happy if you're working out for five hours a day? People want to hire happy models. You need fat to think!" Um, modeling requires thought? [Telegraph]
  • Who is the man who would wear Juicy Couture cologne? [BellaSugar]
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Famous Last Words "They're so identifiable, and I'd rather not wear something that screams what it is." —Tory Burch, the designer responsible for the very identifiable Reva ballet flats, discussing trendy, "it" apparel and accessories in the March issue of Harper's Bazaar.

fashion show

Lauren Conrad Collection: Ugly, Overpriced, Simply Outrageous

Once again, Lauren Conrad "triumphs" over Heidi Montag. While Heidi's "working" in fashion as the "face" of Anchor Blue (for the more "mature" slutty tween!), Lauren is actually "designing" her own clothes. Only her designs are a little...meh. Ok, they're actually a lot "meh": The Spring 2008 looks of the Lauren Conrad Collection is nothing more than idiotic jersey pieces, that retail for up to $170 dollars. Not only that, but the cuts seem super weird, and the palette is heavy on doody colors. LC did, however, name two looks after gal pals Whitney Port and Audrina Partridge! After the jump, behold the full Lauren Conrad Spring/Summer 2008 collection. And try not to throw things at your monitor in outrage when you do. More »

rag trade

Nothing Says "Maturity" Quite Like Heidi Montag

  • Clothing line Anchor Blue has signed Heidi Montag to be its new face. Because execs want to appeal to a "slightly older" demographic. No, really. [WWD, sub req'd]
  • Would you like to be Erin O'Connor's escort to a show during London Fashion Week? Well lucky for you she's holding a contest with Vogue UK. To win her hand (or, you know, the seat next to her) all you have to do is compose her a poem. Start work-shopping those dirty limericks here! [Vogue UK]
  • Thrilling/disturbing news: Steve & Barry's has inked a licensing deal allowing them to create and sell t-shirts bearing images and logos from The Little Rascals, The Andy Griffith Show, The Beverly Hillbillies, The Brady Bunch, The Love Boat, The Twilight Zone, Happy Days, Laverne & Shirley, Cheers and Beverly Hills 90210. And if you feel a twinge of sadness that the average Steve & Barry's customer has probably never known the joy of watching an episode of Laverne & Shirley, just think of the poor children in China who will be sewing them. [WWD, sub req'd]
More »

ad libs

They All Fall Down: Kirsten Dunst, Pretty Models Make Pointed Poses

The fashion industry has always been, in part, about selling expensive shit to women in the form of female submission (corsets, stiletto heels, etc.). But there seem to be more submissives than normal in the ads of the major American fashion magazines this month, specifically, models and actresses in the sort of awkward, recumbent poses defined by academics as "arrogant, slightly insolent" expressions meant to induce status anxiety in consumers. We asked Mark Duffy, the dude behind the blog Copyranter for his opinion, and he gave a somewhat different take. "The advertisers want the ads to look inviting, so the models are put in subservient positions, so as not to intimidate readers," he told us. "Also, such positions also serve as a 'pointer' (arrow) to the products." So which is it? Are such ads inviting or intimidating? Take a look at the offending ads after the jump and weigh in. More »

fashion victims

"It Shoes" Are Apparently The New "It Bags"

Know how all sorts of fashion types are screaming from the rooftops about the death of the It Bag? Did you believe them? Cause if you did, well, then keep dreaming: Rising from the ashes of the It Bag is the It Shoe! (Even Miuccia Prada says so, and whatever she says goes.) "The obsession with handbags has finished a little now. It feels over. It's about shoes now," says Prada. Adds Michael Lewis, head of design for Kurt Geiger: "For women, shoes are still about fantasy and dressing up — shoes can make you feel something special in a way a bag really can't. Shoes can give you a different persona." Shoes, of course, also give you bloody heels, hammertoes, bunions and collapsed arches — which leaves us wondering what it all really means. More »