WSJ Attempts to Drum Up Sympathy for Paupers Making $400K a Year

Break out your tiniest violins: a new video released by the Wall Street Journal either as a deliberately unsympathetic joke designed to agitate the stirrings of an American class war or as one of the whitest whines of all time shows just how a person who makes $400,000 per year can feel like SUPER poor. » 9/08/14 6:45pm 9/08/14 6:45pm

Some Fool Paid $255 For the Last Crumbs Cupcake

This week has been quite the emotional roller coaster for lovers of Crumbs cupcakes. First we hear that Crumbs has decided to close all its stores amid the dire financial crisis that is the bursting of the cupcake bubble. Then, hope is revived with news that investors may be stepping up to keep the overpriced baked… » 7/11/14 7:15pm 7/11/14 7:15pm

Romantic Valentine's Day Meal Can Be Yours for the Low Cost of $93,300

Valentine's Day (the who-cares-iest of all the holidays) is right around the corner, so hopefully you've been saving up a Scrooge McDuck's vault's worth of gold to buy your significant other (or the body pillow that you call your "significant other") a proper gift. One particularly romantic option — if you're… » 2/11/14 5:40pm 2/11/14 5:40pm

Barneys Trying Extra Hard To Be Less Racist This Holiday Season

After two black shoppers complained of being targeted by NYPD assigned to patrol Barneys, the luxury retailer has announced that they will be monitoring the cops in their stores to make sure they're not being racist. Cops, in turn, will monitor the shoppers to make sure none of them are stealing from Barneys. It's the… » 11/27/13 3:30pm 11/27/13 3:30pm

Armed Man Steals $4K Gold Plated Vibrator, Tragically Leaves Charger Behind

This week, an armed man entered a Brazilian luxury sex toy shop, tied up the clerk, and made off with a $4,000 18K gold-plated vibrator. Tragicomically, he didn't manage to swipe the vibe's charger as well, so whoever ends up with the high end play dick will have difficulty gilding her lilly. » 6/01/12 5:50pm 6/01/12 5:50pm

Ann Romney's Weird Bird Shirt Cost $990

If you watched Ann Romney's uncomfortably insistant proclamation that her husband Mitt was a "wild and crazy guy just waiting to come out" yesterday, you may have noticed that she was wearing a shirt covered with pictures of what appeared to be giant birds. But getting your own mitts on that ugly shirt will cost you a… » 5/02/12 5:00pm 5/02/12 5:00pm

Cruise Recreating The Titanic's Disastrous Voyage Is A Terrible Idea

Today in extreme and questionable geekery: a British company has almost sold out the 2,000 available tickets for two cruises that promise to recreate the Titanic's ill-fated maiden voyage on the 100th anniversary of the disaster next year. Floating piece of door and Leonardo DiCapriosicle not included. » 12/28/11 7:00pm 12/28/11 7:00pm

Doesn't Your Butt Deserve A $130,000 Crystal-Covered Toilet?

No matter how great your holiday was, we can guarantee you didn't get the one thing you really needed: A $130,000 toilet encrusted with 72,000 Swarovski crystals. The Japanese company Lixil put the luxury toilet on display in its showroom earlier this month, and it isn't for sale. You see, this device is too wonderful… » 12/26/11 11:44pm 12/26/11 11:44pm

Vogue's Holiday Gift Guide Is A $900,000 Lesson In Class Consciousness

You can't help but be a little underwhelmed with Vogue's forty-item gift guide, which, with a total price of more than $900,000 (that's probably a little higher than Somalia's non-pirate-booty GDP), doesn't even include the limited-edition polar bear skin bedspread that the World Wildlife Fund is selling this… » 12/07/11 12:40pm 12/07/11 12:40pm

Woman Receives Non-Erroneous $200K T-Mobile Bill

Celina Aarons has two brothers who are deaf and unable to speak, and she communicates with both of them using primarily text messages. Because one of them is in college full time and don't have a job, she added him to her cellular plan. And because that brother of hers went off to Canada, she should've made sure that… » 10/18/11 2:30pm 10/18/11 2:30pm