Angie And Brad Buy A Luxury Island Representing Ethiopia, And Other…

I strongly doubt this "news" that Angie and Brad bought an island representing Ethiopia in that crazyass new development in Dubai the New Yorker wrote about, because it's obvs kinda tacky, though it would be sort of cool, just as it would have been cool if Elliott Spitzer had convinced enough legislators asswipe named… » 11/14/07 8:00pm 11/14/07 8:00pm

Yeah, Fuck All Of You. (Unrelated: Has Mark Cuban Gotten Cute?)

So maybe you've heard of this Marion Barry-Tim Page scandal: Marion Barry being that perennial DC mayor who got framed by the FBI and his old girlfriend into smoking crack on the surveillance tape that turned the highly eloquent utterance "Bitch Set Me Up" into a memorable catchphrase back before I even knew I was… » 11/13/07 9:00pm 11/13/07 9:00pm

Dear Shawn Carter: Our Oil Reserves May Be Irreplaceable, But She Is Not

Sometimes all the substantial informative content I dish out every day leaves me craving a little informational dulce de leche, and I have some thing to go off to, so I'm just going to leave you with a few things I enjoyed today. There was the image of George Clooney coming to blows with Fabio, and Spencer Pratt's sex… » 11/07/07 8:09pm 11/07/07 8:09pm

Republicans Vote To Impeach Cheney?!? And This Billion Dollar House

Yesterday I wrote about a trillion dollar company and you seemed to like that, so today I'm posting this rendering of a billion dollar house, constructed by a trillion-rupee trillionaire, from the latest Portfolio, in honor of Portfolio parent company Conde Nast's "nesting" magazine House & Garden and the sad end of… » 11/06/07 7:56pm 11/06/07 7:56pm

The World's First Trillion Dollar Company Meets The World's Trillionth…

I can't act like I really want to do this post today. To be honest, the more I do this job, the more I feel like that crazy guy who recorded his life in 5-minute intervals crossed with a batshit Ron Paul supporter, and just because it turns out there are quite a lot of ardent Ron Paul supporters doesn't always make me… » 11/05/07 9:39pm 11/05/07 9:39pm

Day of the Dead: The Dead, Dying and Resurrected

So, Moe's off to some event tonight and left me in charge of your evening purge and, unfortunately for all involved I've had way too much damn caffeine and drama today for one relatively small person, so I'm anxious and jittery and just a little more ADD than usual but it's all okay because once I finish typing this I… » 11/01/07 7:45pm 11/01/07 7:45pm

Hugo Chavez Receives Diplomatic Mission From Naomi Campbell And Her…

Happy Halloween! Yesterday sucked so bad I forgot about those days where the news is so weird you can only think, "who needs scripted television?" Ha ha ha ha, please don't go on strike people responsible for 30 Rock. But Kucinich told us about his UFO sighting on national TV, Naomi Campbell donned her best community… » 10/31/07 9:18pm 10/31/07 9:18pm

Was It Arson? Also: Laura Bush Is Not In The Country

The fact that Laura Bush was in Abu Dhabi talking about breast cancer today was probably the 1023rd most important thing that happened today, but what a picture. The FBI is investigating the possibility that the wildfires at all caused by a band of suicide arsonists — ecoterrorists reenacting the post-Gulf War oil… » 10/24/07 8:30pm 10/24/07 8:30pm

Lance Deserves Another Shot In Space Like You Deserve Another Shot Of…

Fires have engulfed Southern California including the Promises Rehab center, floods have seized Louisiana, 135 people are still dead in Pakistan and tomorrow in Florida NASA is launching a shuttle in hopes of getting some lady astronauts to do some housework in space, which reminds me that all I want to talk about is … » 10/22/07 8:30pm 10/22/07 8:30pm

Alica, Baby Jessica And Birth Control: A Bunch Of Crap Today That…

Before tonight I never knew about Alicia Kozakiewicz, who was locked in a Herndon computer programmer's basement he was deluded enough to call a "dungeon" and raped at age 13 in a traumatic crime that pretty much makes her the most disarmingly hot victim of anything I've ever seen, except maybe Valerie Plame, whose… » 10/17/07 9:00pm 10/17/07 9:00pm

Virtuous Hackers Hijack Heidi, Various Coulters; Cheney Is Darth Vader…

Today rogue hackers appeared to have broken into the content management systems of the websites of controversial blondes Heidi Montag and Ann Coulter, but can we blame the hackers for the fact that Orlando Bloom just happened to have injured Ann's second cousin, or that Dick Cheney just outed Barack Obama as his… » 10/16/07 8:59pm 10/16/07 8:59pm

Seal And Heidi Klum: But They Make It Look So Easy...

"All politics is marriage." No one actually said that except me, and that was when I was drunk, so I don't know why I wrote that in quotes and it is not as if I am asking to be quoted in some entirely different context saying that in some fancy magazine, but I stand by the original drunk train of thought. All politics… » 10/15/07 10:00pm 10/15/07 10:00pm

Madonna Leaves Gym, Record Label; Another Tragic School Shooting

Madonna left her record deal for a new, kind of crazy wide-ranging $120 million deal with Live Nation, which I'm pretty sure used to be called Clear Channel; apparently the deal is "unprecedented." In more precedented news: she wore an ugly shapeless tracksuit to the gym, an auto workers strike was averted and a kid… » 10/10/07 9:00pm 10/10/07 9:00pm