Jezebel 
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New York, 3:23 AM
Mon Nov 23
18 posts in the last 24 hours
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11/18/09
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11/17/09
The movie was very, very quiet, and I couldn't hear what the characters were saying. I shot them nasty glances, and they'd shut up for about eight seconds. I finally got sick of it, and turned to say, "Guys, honestly---that is SO distracting. If you want to have a conversation, you should just leave."
They were totally stunned and looked like I'd just executed a puppy in front of them. Not to get all "Kids Today," but it does seem like there are some people (regardless of age) who never seemed to have had to learn boundaries. They just think that any behavior they wish to engage in is also okay for a public forum. "It's my right!" etc.
Yes. We all have rights. But we also have responsibilities to be good citizens. Watch as much porn as you want, but don't shove it in my face in a public space. You want to have a noisy, annoying conversation? Fine. But don't expect me to sit there and let you do it comfortably. The sense of entitlement is mind-boggling. #etiquette
11/17/09
and yes, i know for many it's a whole 'i get car sick' thing, but when the train is crowded, you can either sit the wrong way or stand the entire time. i'll take sitting the wrong way. besides, the train doesn't sell standing room only seats. #etiquette
11/17/09
11/16/09
11/16/09
As I read this, I was reminded of the best lesson I ever learned, the philosophy of the culture and neighborhood I grew up in. And that is: Mind'yer Business. #etiquette
11/16/09
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11/16/09
I spent last summer in DC so I know some of the things to mention (pole leaners must die), but I would love to get some additional advice from DC natives. Or dwellers of other large cities. What say you Jezzies? #etiquette
11/16/09
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11/16/09
Do not stop at the bottom of stairs or escalators. Move out of the way if you need to regroup and figure out where you're going.
This is a pet peeve, and I know it's hard in big groups, but on the metro, try to keep conversation tones moderate during rush hour. People are just trying to get to work without a headache.
Obey the walk signs in the crosswalks. Do not cross with a large group if you don't have time to do so-- you will get honked at, and you will cause a traffic jam.
Related: Watch out for buses.
Hope you guys have a great trip! #etiquette
11/16/09
Some questions: What happens to escalator etiquette when the escalator is broken? I would think faster people to the left, but this is soooo not been my experience. Also, please elaborate on acceptable blackberry/cellphone behavior. I found that people in the DC metro area had a very different sense of work life balance than Minnesotans do. Is Blackberry on the table during dinner really acceptable? Also, where is the line for networking douchbaggery. I would be talking to someone at some random happy hour for .5 seconds when they would whip out their card and start talking about how awesome they were. It is all about who you know, but how soon is too soon to put on the "I would like you to get me a job one day" kind of pressure? #etiquette
11/16/09
The networking vibe is intense in DC. And social events aren't really social unless you're just with friends. It is still considered unacceptable to answer a call at the table in a restaurant at dinner, but lunches are fair game. Every lunch is a working lunch. People will be full out answering email in the middle of a sit-down lunch. Just the nature of a 24 hour work day. Most of the downtown restaurants encourage a little more decorum in the evenings (thank god). #etiquette
11/16/09
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11/16/09
My advice for networking happy hours is to be lowkey. Go into them with the attitude of, maybe I'll meet a few cool people who I will run into again at some point. I HATE nametag surfing, it's VERY obvious, and most people can see right through it. #etiquette
11/16/09
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11/16/09
I consider his behavior borderline rude, he says he's just not one for small talk. I say small talk greases the wheel of life and makes these little public exchanges go just a wee bit smoother and makes people feel momentarily happy (or at least, not angry). With so much free-floating rudeness around, why not be the one nice person someone encounters? If nothing else, it's good karma. #etiquette
11/16/09
11/16/09
A "friend" of mine used to endlessly embarrass me when we would go out to dinner. The server would forget that he wanted water with no ice, or would not cook his steak the right way, or whathaveyou, and he would always throw a shit fit, bitching them out under his breath and hissing. One time, we were at a swanky restaurant (which we ended up leaving because I accidentally dropped the f-bomb in front of 3 6-year-olds, which I was embarrassed beyond belief and apologized for my drunken slip-up), and he ordered his whiskey "neat" and the server actually got it. Thank god, because he was going to be an asshole if it came back on the rocks. :( We are no longer friends, thank god.
My friend, a different one (jeez, I'm just full of boring anecdotes today!), can't make small talk at all. I think we all need to learn to do it to some extent. It's just polite. We all know that Cash Register Worker doesn't give a shit about your day, she's asking because she has to. Be nice! It's not so hard. I make small talk with anyone who talks to me, really, and I find that it gets me better service, anyway. #etiquette
11/16/09
11/16/09
I totally agree with the idea that being gratuitously rude to waiters is a glaring sign that someone is just an asshole in general. #etiquette
11/16/09
11/16/09
Him: I LOATHE when people ask how I am when they say hello. Like "Hi! How are you?" I HATE that.
Me: Why?
Him: Because no one ever means it.
Me: Some people do.
Him: Most don't.
Me: What would you prefer people say?
Him: Nothing. Let's just acknowledge that we don't care about each other.
Me: Yes. Ignoring and not caring about one another is how we as a society have moved past screeching primates.
Insert any variation of that conversation into my life at least once every other month. #etiquette
11/16/09
I've gotten much better at it with effort and practice, but in my head it still just seems like it would be so much more efficient to cut to the chase and give my order without all the other expected social customs.
Though I have learned that there really is a benefit to it all (beyond the self-serving ones), and it's nice to make people happy or at least have a slightly less crappy day.
11/16/09
11/17/09
But what I was going to say is there's an old adage that says, "You can tell a lot about a person by the way he or she treats the waiter." #etiquette
11/17/09
11/17/09
My other friend is very similar to your boyfriend - just comes off as cold. He doesn't have a disability, but he just reads as "unfriendly". Once you get to know him, he loosens up, but it takes awhile, and small talk makes him so uncomfortable. #etiquette
11/17/09
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11/16/09
I loathe cell phone calls in the toilet. No conversation is so important it can't wait until after you wipe. #etiquette
11/16/09
11/16/09
Nothing was said until AFTER I paid for my items. As the cashier handed me my receipt, the lady directly behind me said, "Well, I hope you are happy now, having cut in front of me."
I just looked at her, blinked, and then, instead of allowing my lifelong, well-trained, "Oh, I'm so sorry!" response to come out, simply replied, "No remorse."
She actually sputtered. "Oh, well, that's NICE! You have a nice evening!" (said with no small amount of sarcasm).
I was already walking away and just smiled over my shoulder and said, "You, too!"
I'm not *proud* of this story...oh, hell, actually, I am. #etiquette
11/16/09
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11/17/09
11/17/09
Honestly, seriously, I find it all very heartbreaking, and I would rather die than live that way. #etiquette
11/17/09